kinda depressed...its been a rough week.
well this has been a horrific week. i pretty much dont want to write about it. but i'll write about tonight. tonight we had a girls night. i dont know, it was fun, but i just feel like unless i make my presence known by being loud, nobody would even notice i was there because no one cares. i dont honestly feel like i have any close friends on this campus and i feel very much alone. i understand that i have an amazing boyfriend and i am certainly not trying to take that for granted but you need more than that. at least if you want to have a healthy relationship and life in general. all night they were saying all these inside jokes from times when they didnt bother to invite me to hang out with them (like when they went on a weekend trip and didnt bother to invite me) and idk i just felt dumb. basically i want some to make some sort of genuine overature of friendship to me. dont come in to my room, sit down for 2 seconds and ask how my day was then leave. that isnt genuine, that is looking for my room mate. come in my room and ask me something deeper than "how are you?" that phrase wasn't intended to be an entire conversation in and of itself, i'm sure. to really care you have to go a little deeper than that. but i really dont think i will get that any time soon and it kills me. honestly what is wrong with me? if anyone can give me some advice i'd love to hear it. i'm sick of being lonely and not having anyone i can trust or count on. alright thats enough ranting...i am one seriously sleep deprived girl but i dont feel like going into the story of why that is. its a bit long. suffice it to say my boyfriend was in the hospital and i got no sleep (oh yea...THERES something a real friend could have asked about! even a half-way decent friend would think to ask about that! geez!) ok...enough ranting...i'm pretty sure no one here reads this and even if they did i'd be kind of glad because i dont think i can actually move forward in a friendship with a lot of these people unless i get this off my chest. so yea...haha...