in my head
i don't really know what to write. over the weekend i tried writing down my feelings like 5 times but deleted them each time. i don't really feel that great. at work i can play it off, but it's draining. quad shot starbucks drinks can't keep me awake at the end of the day.
i guess it all started on friday with a talk with my principal, bob. we had chatted briefly the day before and he wanted to schedule an actual meeting time to talk with me. we talked about the work i did over the summer (the special class i taught) and the beginning steps of how we can implement it at LHS.
he reads people well and by the end of the day my game face was off and he knew other stuff was on my mind. so we chatted about counseling, other jobs, future goals, and such. i left feeling a little more exposed than i planned on being, so i guess maybe that is why...and also because of the letter i received about my rejection for an emergency credential because of one missing paper from the yuba county office of education. as of right now i can be fired at any time because i do not have any credential at all.
about one hour after that i received a phone call and essentially a pre-interview for a job in san francisco. the job is titled "residential counselor II" and it is almost like being a RA again, but with much more responsibilities, more freedom, yet still "live-in" the conversation with the man was great and he told me to call today after thinking it over the weekend.
by saturday morning i decided that it wasn't the right job and that it wouldn't necessarily be a step-up for me. i'm looking for longivity(sp), not a quick fix.
i didn't call today. and i didn't answer the phone when i saw that similar .. call me at 5 PM. i haven't listened to message either.
i don't know what i am doing. i do know that between now and friday (surgery day) i'll be running my ass around trying to get transcripts from chico state and trying to keep my job.
to be honest, i feel lost. i know i feel that way a lot, but i really do. i have absolutely no clue what to do about my life and it's exhausting. how can someone that wants to be a counselor or something like it, be so lost?
i guess that's all for now...i'll probably delete this anyway.
i guess it all started on friday with a talk with my principal, bob. we had chatted briefly the day before and he wanted to schedule an actual meeting time to talk with me. we talked about the work i did over the summer (the special class i taught) and the beginning steps of how we can implement it at LHS.
he reads people well and by the end of the day my game face was off and he knew other stuff was on my mind. so we chatted about counseling, other jobs, future goals, and such. i left feeling a little more exposed than i planned on being, so i guess maybe that is why...and also because of the letter i received about my rejection for an emergency credential because of one missing paper from the yuba county office of education. as of right now i can be fired at any time because i do not have any credential at all.
about one hour after that i received a phone call and essentially a pre-interview for a job in san francisco. the job is titled "residential counselor II" and it is almost like being a RA again, but with much more responsibilities, more freedom, yet still "live-in" the conversation with the man was great and he told me to call today after thinking it over the weekend.
by saturday morning i decided that it wasn't the right job and that it wouldn't necessarily be a step-up for me. i'm looking for longivity(sp), not a quick fix.
i didn't call today. and i didn't answer the phone when i saw that similar .. call me at 5 PM. i haven't listened to message either.
i don't know what i am doing. i do know that between now and friday (surgery day) i'll be running my ass around trying to get transcripts from chico state and trying to keep my job.
to be honest, i feel lost. i know i feel that way a lot, but i really do. i have absolutely no clue what to do about my life and it's exhausting. how can someone that wants to be a counselor or something like it, be so lost?
i guess that's all for now...i'll probably delete this anyway.