she keeps repeating....
saying goodbye this time, it's the same old story.
ADULT CONTENT. contains language, honestly, and only downsides of people. This entry may make 3 people look very bad, when in fact it's only the stated topic. If you choose to read this, unless you are one of the three stated in the main conflict, please do not let this reflect upon you in any way, unless it helps you realize that you may be unjustly criticizing a friend for something that's not true. Also, this whole entry was written under the influence of mass anger, therefore, it will be very blunt and extremely painful for those three to read. Honesty counts. Heres my part. Thank you.
so today was good and bad at the same time and I'm updating because I really don't want to write my essay for AP History on the stupid reformers of the antebellum period in America.
Anywho, got on the bus, fell asleep etc. Got to school and actually went to the library this morning to do some work. Turns out Gomez was there, just who I wanted to talk to. We talked for a little while and then i went to study physics. Went to physics and presented my problem with Carly. Test wednesday on stuff I don't know yet. Then history, which was boring and a complete review. Then lunch, i hate lunch. Great for eating, bad for everything social.
I was eating in my usual spot outside the building and Lauren was there. Shortly after Theresa came and I talked to her. Its funny how 2 years ago Tam was anti-anything sexual and now she's constantly looking to hook up or date or anything haha. Funny what summer can do to you, or your first kiss for that matter. Anyways, Kaitlyn and Emily showed up, Theresa left, and Lauren returned with her lunch. Somehow we got on the topic of Johnny and I mentioned I was waiting to see if he was ever gonna step up and talk to me. Shows me he's grown up a little since Ashley if he does. Then Kaitlyn was like "physics wasn't the last time he tried to talk to you blah blah blah your fucking ignoring him blah blah" and a bunch of bullshit that pushed me over the edge. Okay, well I don't know what Johnny's telling Lauren and Kaitlyn but whatever it is it's fucking him over because its pissing me off more and more. He obviously didn't learn the first time I said something about him saying stuff behind my back to Lauren and Kaitlyn. Must've flown right past him. But freaking IMing me isn't "talking" and NEITHER is freaking looking at me. Dousche. And me saying "i have homework, I'm busy..." thats something I said to you even when we were dating. So now your just overexaggerating and telling white lies to Lauren and Kaitlyn. ANYWAYS. I got mad and left to the photo room because I had some work I wanted to do in there anyways. Apparently Kaitlyn was blind to the fact that what she said completely set me off and called me saying "are you okay?" and i said "im in the darkroom and yes and no." then she came up and she was like "what the hell is wrong with you" etc etc. I continued to develop my stuff. She left... and then at the end of lunch Lauren was sitting on the wall outside of Stodolaks room, and walked with me for a ways. She's like "Maya johnny IS trying to talk to you he told me..." and I'm like "what lauren, IMing? glancing at me in the halls." we continued talking for a bit and she said something and I can't remember and i said "Lauren I know EXACTLY how he is. he KNOWS the truth but he just denies it because it's not what he wants to hear. He did the same exact thing with Ashley. He knew she broke up with him but he kept denying it with 'shes not like every other girl...' 'shell come back around' just because he didn't want it to be over. When he grows up enough to grab his balls and talk to me then fine but he needs to do it on his own." and she said "but he's scared too." and i said "well what the hell lauren, what's he scared of, there isn't anything! like im gonna hit him or something?" and she goes "and you'll look him straight in the eye and talk to him..."................. now that i think of it looking him in the eye has nothing to do with being scared of... and him being afraid of me breaking his heart is stupid because as far as i knew i already did that and he took it as literally as humanly possible.
but freaking christ. then gym came. thank god for gym. we lifted weights... i did 110 on my legs and up to 78 on my arms which was a bitccchhhhh. But i was really mad by the time i got in gym class so lifting weights is just what I needed. After gym I went to O'sullivan and got the rest of my money and then went to art... and did a pretty stellar figure drawing.... its a 5 hour piece so I have until friday and I'm really excited. I like it so far.
fell asleep on the way home and now I'm waiting for soccer.
But really, what is it Lauren OR kaitlyn's business. ITS NOT. stay out of my freaking life if its about johnny of all people. If he says something to you, I DONT WANT TO HEAR IT. if its about him its gonna come from him so stop fucking hassaling me making me such a bad person. You're gonna push someone into their grave. And I REALLY don't know what you're both trying to do. What's your goal, honestly? What do you think you're going to accomplish..... because nothing good will come from you all bitching your heads off at me about how im such a horrible person to johnny.
NEWS FLASH: i broke up with him for a reason. you ever bitch at him for that?!?!?
and i guess johnny deserves a lot of blame in this one too for being so whiney to Lauren and Kaitlyn. Grow up. As far as it's going right now I should be pissed at you most for the current situation. Except I'm not. Only for what I broke up with you because and thats that. If you call yourself a good friend then do the right thing and savor two of my friendships by stoping the talk about how im ignoring you, because im not. You're a huge baby right now overexaggerating all of this so get of yourself. If you wanna complain do it to one of your guys friends...
oh, wait. they might look at you as weak if you did... right?
thats because right now, you are. and it shows by what your doing.
so point blank for kaitlyn and lauren: stop bringing this up. honestly for my fucking sake just STOP. and if this isn't enough to get the point through to you, then I just can't talk to you guys until this all ends. Thank you for your time.
ADULT CONTENT. contains language, honestly, and only downsides of people. This entry may make 3 people look very bad, when in fact it's only the stated topic. If you choose to read this, unless you are one of the three stated in the main conflict, please do not let this reflect upon you in any way, unless it helps you realize that you may be unjustly criticizing a friend for something that's not true. Also, this whole entry was written under the influence of mass anger, therefore, it will be very blunt and extremely painful for those three to read. Honesty counts. Heres my part. Thank you.
so today was good and bad at the same time and I'm updating because I really don't want to write my essay for AP History on the stupid reformers of the antebellum period in America.
Anywho, got on the bus, fell asleep etc. Got to school and actually went to the library this morning to do some work. Turns out Gomez was there, just who I wanted to talk to. We talked for a little while and then i went to study physics. Went to physics and presented my problem with Carly. Test wednesday on stuff I don't know yet. Then history, which was boring and a complete review. Then lunch, i hate lunch. Great for eating, bad for everything social.
I was eating in my usual spot outside the building and Lauren was there. Shortly after Theresa came and I talked to her. Its funny how 2 years ago Tam was anti-anything sexual and now she's constantly looking to hook up or date or anything haha. Funny what summer can do to you, or your first kiss for that matter. Anyways, Kaitlyn and Emily showed up, Theresa left, and Lauren returned with her lunch. Somehow we got on the topic of Johnny and I mentioned I was waiting to see if he was ever gonna step up and talk to me. Shows me he's grown up a little since Ashley if he does. Then Kaitlyn was like "physics wasn't the last time he tried to talk to you blah blah blah your fucking ignoring him blah blah" and a bunch of bullshit that pushed me over the edge. Okay, well I don't know what Johnny's telling Lauren and Kaitlyn but whatever it is it's fucking him over because its pissing me off more and more. He obviously didn't learn the first time I said something about him saying stuff behind my back to Lauren and Kaitlyn. Must've flown right past him. But freaking IMing me isn't "talking" and NEITHER is freaking looking at me. Dousche. And me saying "i have homework, I'm busy..." thats something I said to you even when we were dating. So now your just overexaggerating and telling white lies to Lauren and Kaitlyn. ANYWAYS. I got mad and left to the photo room because I had some work I wanted to do in there anyways. Apparently Kaitlyn was blind to the fact that what she said completely set me off and called me saying "are you okay?" and i said "im in the darkroom and yes and no." then she came up and she was like "what the hell is wrong with you" etc etc. I continued to develop my stuff. She left... and then at the end of lunch Lauren was sitting on the wall outside of Stodolaks room, and walked with me for a ways. She's like "Maya johnny IS trying to talk to you he told me..." and I'm like "what lauren, IMing? glancing at me in the halls." we continued talking for a bit and she said something and I can't remember and i said "Lauren I know EXACTLY how he is. he KNOWS the truth but he just denies it because it's not what he wants to hear. He did the same exact thing with Ashley. He knew she broke up with him but he kept denying it with 'shes not like every other girl...' 'shell come back around' just because he didn't want it to be over. When he grows up enough to grab his balls and talk to me then fine but he needs to do it on his own." and she said "but he's scared too." and i said "well what the hell lauren, what's he scared of, there isn't anything! like im gonna hit him or something?" and she goes "and you'll look him straight in the eye and talk to him..."................. now that i think of it looking him in the eye has nothing to do with being scared of... and him being afraid of me breaking his heart is stupid because as far as i knew i already did that and he took it as literally as humanly possible.
but freaking christ. then gym came. thank god for gym. we lifted weights... i did 110 on my legs and up to 78 on my arms which was a bitccchhhhh. But i was really mad by the time i got in gym class so lifting weights is just what I needed. After gym I went to O'sullivan and got the rest of my money and then went to art... and did a pretty stellar figure drawing.... its a 5 hour piece so I have until friday and I'm really excited. I like it so far.
fell asleep on the way home and now I'm waiting for soccer.
But really, what is it Lauren OR kaitlyn's business. ITS NOT. stay out of my freaking life if its about johnny of all people. If he says something to you, I DONT WANT TO HEAR IT. if its about him its gonna come from him so stop fucking hassaling me making me such a bad person. You're gonna push someone into their grave. And I REALLY don't know what you're both trying to do. What's your goal, honestly? What do you think you're going to accomplish..... because nothing good will come from you all bitching your heads off at me about how im such a horrible person to johnny.
NEWS FLASH: i broke up with him for a reason. you ever bitch at him for that?!?!?
and i guess johnny deserves a lot of blame in this one too for being so whiney to Lauren and Kaitlyn. Grow up. As far as it's going right now I should be pissed at you most for the current situation. Except I'm not. Only for what I broke up with you because and thats that. If you call yourself a good friend then do the right thing and savor two of my friendships by stoping the talk about how im ignoring you, because im not. You're a huge baby right now overexaggerating all of this so get of yourself. If you wanna complain do it to one of your guys friends...
oh, wait. they might look at you as weak if you did... right?
thats because right now, you are. and it shows by what your doing.
so point blank for kaitlyn and lauren: stop bringing this up. honestly for my fucking sake just STOP. and if this isn't enough to get the point through to you, then I just can't talk to you guys until this all ends. Thank you for your time.