snuffle
ooo the tiredness. and im about to go to bed again! i slept for like 10 hours, and i woulda kept going but i had to get up and get somewhat 'sober' before i went off to babysit. at chucky cheese. heh. wasnt too bad tho. god its always so awkward b/c all the single dads, and disapproving mothers think im the kid's mom!! i hate that. o well.
so i thoroughly enjoyed the senior party. so much. it was reall perfect. like when it needed to be exciting and fun there was all the stuff in the gym, the virtual tour, and the dancing, and then when it needed to be mellow there was the awesome band (seriously, ethan, mike, cameron, jesse are amazing. and i was reminded how jealous i am of jesse's piano talent.) and then the hypnotist was so hilarious! well not him himself, but the whole show. even if some of them faked it, i really enjoyed it. i was tired, but it was like a happy tired. i definitely got to the phase where i was so tired i no longer had inhibitions and was starting to act odd, but luckily we got on the bus and i totally was out. well not literally, but i was dead tired. the only bad part of the party was the whoever's completely idiotic idea it was to pile everyone's baggies in a HUGE ass pile so we could form a makeshift mosh pit to try to get at them. ahh! and at that point i definitely got really grumpy cuz my mom was there, i could go home, and some fuckhead made it impossible for anyone to accomplish anything. rah. they could've at least put the suits in the box that corresponded to the bus, but in my orange box was bags of ppl that werent even on my bus. o well, thats over.
graduation. what an awesome feeling when it was over!! i love that feeling when i looked up and saw all the flying hats, and then watch them fall back down and smack me on the head. awkward. and then of course the feeling when i saw ju right after. what a feeling, like pure excitement/happiness! but ya, the whole thing was really long and i got bored. the speeches were..kinda bad..well not bad but not inspiring. i loved when i got to look up at my parents from all the way down there and wave like crazy and seeing them wave like crazy back. and hearing the screams. it was incredible to see the parents. there was so much love, i just was kind of in awe. and i wanted to wave back at those parents whose kid wasnt looking back as they frantically waved and jumped and screamed. but they were cheering squads, and thats really what they are. wow my brain is really spacey, i keep thinking of stuff to say and i get randomly distracted and forget it all. ah, a signal to sleep.
one last thing. clara came home today. completely drugged. it was kinda sad how much relief i felt when she was out of the house and in good hands. but now that shes back i can not stop thinking about how much pain she must be going through and how miserable she is, and wouldnt she be happier if she could end it all? wouldnt we? i just dont trust her. the vet said she could still freak again, and now we have some heavy duty injections to shoot in her when she does that again. and i have incredible guilt. what if i did this to her? how the fuck could i live with that. there's some evidence that her spine isnt quite lined up right. and a glich in her tail, like she broke it. but thats all guessing i guess until an ortho looks at the x-rays.
im gonna end w/ a happy note. ive been receiving tons of graduation money! i cant believe it! like my mom's friend sent me like 50 bucks, and i dont even really know her! anyways, its really nice that people care, makes me feel like one of those good kids, cuz u know im such a crazy.
so i thoroughly enjoyed the senior party. so much. it was reall perfect. like when it needed to be exciting and fun there was all the stuff in the gym, the virtual tour, and the dancing, and then when it needed to be mellow there was the awesome band (seriously, ethan, mike, cameron, jesse are amazing. and i was reminded how jealous i am of jesse's piano talent.) and then the hypnotist was so hilarious! well not him himself, but the whole show. even if some of them faked it, i really enjoyed it. i was tired, but it was like a happy tired. i definitely got to the phase where i was so tired i no longer had inhibitions and was starting to act odd, but luckily we got on the bus and i totally was out. well not literally, but i was dead tired. the only bad part of the party was the whoever's completely idiotic idea it was to pile everyone's baggies in a HUGE ass pile so we could form a makeshift mosh pit to try to get at them. ahh! and at that point i definitely got really grumpy cuz my mom was there, i could go home, and some fuckhead made it impossible for anyone to accomplish anything. rah. they could've at least put the suits in the box that corresponded to the bus, but in my orange box was bags of ppl that werent even on my bus. o well, thats over.
graduation. what an awesome feeling when it was over!! i love that feeling when i looked up and saw all the flying hats, and then watch them fall back down and smack me on the head. awkward. and then of course the feeling when i saw ju right after. what a feeling, like pure excitement/happiness! but ya, the whole thing was really long and i got bored. the speeches were..kinda bad..well not bad but not inspiring. i loved when i got to look up at my parents from all the way down there and wave like crazy and seeing them wave like crazy back. and hearing the screams. it was incredible to see the parents. there was so much love, i just was kind of in awe. and i wanted to wave back at those parents whose kid wasnt looking back as they frantically waved and jumped and screamed. but they were cheering squads, and thats really what they are. wow my brain is really spacey, i keep thinking of stuff to say and i get randomly distracted and forget it all. ah, a signal to sleep.
one last thing. clara came home today. completely drugged. it was kinda sad how much relief i felt when she was out of the house and in good hands. but now that shes back i can not stop thinking about how much pain she must be going through and how miserable she is, and wouldnt she be happier if she could end it all? wouldnt we? i just dont trust her. the vet said she could still freak again, and now we have some heavy duty injections to shoot in her when she does that again. and i have incredible guilt. what if i did this to her? how the fuck could i live with that. there's some evidence that her spine isnt quite lined up right. and a glich in her tail, like she broke it. but thats all guessing i guess until an ortho looks at the x-rays.
im gonna end w/ a happy note. ive been receiving tons of graduation money! i cant believe it! like my mom's friend sent me like 50 bucks, and i dont even really know her! anyways, its really nice that people care, makes me feel like one of those good kids, cuz u know im such a crazy.