(no subject)
I feel out of it today. It's cool inside the house and warm outside. I'm freezing and I'm physically tired but mentally on.
I don't know why, but i'm down. I haven't studied for Monday's test since last weekend, I think. I don't think I'm ready for it but I can't seem to get my shit together to study.
It all started around 9 this morning, with Luna waking me up. I put her outside. Last night, when i was getting ready for bed, I heard a dog or puppy outside whining and crying. Felt bad for it. So, when I put Luna outside, I discovered the next door neighbors got a cute little puppy. I heard it whining and crying when i was looking for my shoes before putting Luna outside. I felt bad for the puppy h a ecause it was just tied to the neighbor's railing with a short leash. And, it obviously wanted to go inside.
e
I went back inside and tried to go back to sleep because I was sooo tired. Still am. I went to bed around 4 this morning. It would be so fucking nice to be able to get more than 3-5 hrs of sleep a night. I couldn't sleep because the poor puppy was out side crying. After about an hour, I went outside and petted the puppy. made me want another dog. And it also had me wondering about what the fuck the neighbors are doing. They just had a baby a month or 2 ago. Maybe 3 months ago. How the hell are they going to take care of a puppy and a baby? I hope they don't leave that poor puppy outside all teh time like that. I always feel like rescuing animals when they're left like that.
When I walked away after petting/playing with it, it cried louder. It was awful.
Since i couldn't sleep, I decided I'd go get my hair cut today. I've been toying with the idea for the past week or so. What's the point in having long hair if all one's going to do with it is pull it up into a boring ponytail? And i don't know how to do anything else with it really. So i got a shower, got dressed, brought Luna in and got my hair cut. I LOVE it. It feels so freeing to get long hair cut short. My hair was the longest it's been in years when i got it cut. It was down the middle of my back.
My new hair cut is super short in the back (probably an inch or 2 long, in layers) and gradually gets longer all the way to the front where my bangs are about chin length, maybe a bit shorter. I feel more like me now. And, the hair place had blue hair glue marked down to 60% off, so I snagged it.
I felt kind of guilty about spending the money on my hair cut and blue glue but what the hell. I rarely buy myself anything aside from the mandatory coffee, cigarettes and random groceries. So, screw the creditors. I'm tired of working and not being able to do anything i want. The bill collectors can kiss my ass.
I planned on studying when i got home but couldn't concentrate. I just want Monday to hurry up and get here so i can get it over and done with. Pass, or fail, I don't care. Well, i do. I want to pass. But I've been so tired and worn out and unable to concentrate. Doesn't seem like that matters anyway. I can't seem to retain any of the shit i've read and re read and re read anyway.
I have to pick my client up at 3. So i'll leave around 2:40. The plan is to go swimming. Or, if she can't go swimming, we're going to go to the library and make stuff with beads. I'll also bring my little container of Crayola and other cheap kiddie art suppy stuff and some paper. Beads will be too boring for 2-3 hours. The library closes at 5 so we'll have to do something else after that. I have my client until 6 tonight.
I figure that once i get home from dropping her off, I 'll spend the rest of the night studying. I'm just going to have to read the study guide aloud. I think i'm better at retaining stuff auditorily now. I'm nervous because i only got 63% on my practice test. Need 70% to pass. BUT i did rush through the practice exam because I wanted to see what the whole thing was like. I know i got some of the questions wrong because they were the type that went "every statement below is true EXCEPT". And most of the choices were negative . I didn't take the time to figure out each double negative thing. I'll do that at teh test. There were also quite a few I got wrong but my first gut feeling for the answers was right. but i went against the gut feeling and chose a different answer. So, maybe taking my time with the real test will help. And ther e are some sections I just did awful on because I just didn't know the information. So I'll go over that tonight and tomorrow. I'm also going to leave early enough so i should be about an hour early just so i can review stuff right before the test.
I knew I shouldn't have left the house this morning to get my hair cut. I knew it would throw my time off for the rest of the day. I always lose track of time. Always seem to get distracted by something else if what i'm supposed to be doing isn't set in stone by someone else's schedule. And, since I quit taking my meds, it's worse. I can't even take the St. John's Wort anymore. I'm wondering if that is attributing to this stupid allergic rash. I think I was taking the St John's Wort AFTER the rash appeared, but I'm not sure. This rash seems to be going away though, since i quit taking it. Maybe I can find a different brand with different ingredients in the capsule or something. I felt so ON and almost like before when I was taking them.
That poor puppy is outside carrying on again. I feel so bad for it.
Hopefully, I'll be able to get home in time to call the doctor's office for an appointment after my . test Monday. I can't keep going on like this. I'm sooooo in my head now. Way too much. And, I've been overanalyzing everything and nothing. I hate feeling this way. It's ridiculous. I need to start getting ready my stuff together for work and start getting my mindset back to normal again so i can go and play the game of being like everyone else. Guess i just need to turn my mind "off".
I don't know why, but i'm down. I haven't studied for Monday's test since last weekend, I think. I don't think I'm ready for it but I can't seem to get my shit together to study.
It all started around 9 this morning, with Luna waking me up. I put her outside. Last night, when i was getting ready for bed, I heard a dog or puppy outside whining and crying. Felt bad for it. So, when I put Luna outside, I discovered the next door neighbors got a cute little puppy. I heard it whining and crying when i was looking for my shoes before putting Luna outside. I felt bad for the puppy h a ecause it was just tied to the neighbor's railing with a short leash. And, it obviously wanted to go inside.
e
I went back inside and tried to go back to sleep because I was sooo tired. Still am. I went to bed around 4 this morning. It would be so fucking nice to be able to get more than 3-5 hrs of sleep a night. I couldn't sleep because the poor puppy was out side crying. After about an hour, I went outside and petted the puppy. made me want another dog. And it also had me wondering about what the fuck the neighbors are doing. They just had a baby a month or 2 ago. Maybe 3 months ago. How the hell are they going to take care of a puppy and a baby? I hope they don't leave that poor puppy outside all teh time like that. I always feel like rescuing animals when they're left like that.
When I walked away after petting/playing with it, it cried louder. It was awful.
Since i couldn't sleep, I decided I'd go get my hair cut today. I've been toying with the idea for the past week or so. What's the point in having long hair if all one's going to do with it is pull it up into a boring ponytail? And i don't know how to do anything else with it really. So i got a shower, got dressed, brought Luna in and got my hair cut. I LOVE it. It feels so freeing to get long hair cut short. My hair was the longest it's been in years when i got it cut. It was down the middle of my back.
My new hair cut is super short in the back (probably an inch or 2 long, in layers) and gradually gets longer all the way to the front where my bangs are about chin length, maybe a bit shorter. I feel more like me now. And, the hair place had blue hair glue marked down to 60% off, so I snagged it.
I felt kind of guilty about spending the money on my hair cut and blue glue but what the hell. I rarely buy myself anything aside from the mandatory coffee, cigarettes and random groceries. So, screw the creditors. I'm tired of working and not being able to do anything i want. The bill collectors can kiss my ass.
I planned on studying when i got home but couldn't concentrate. I just want Monday to hurry up and get here so i can get it over and done with. Pass, or fail, I don't care. Well, i do. I want to pass. But I've been so tired and worn out and unable to concentrate. Doesn't seem like that matters anyway. I can't seem to retain any of the shit i've read and re read and re read anyway.
I have to pick my client up at 3. So i'll leave around 2:40. The plan is to go swimming. Or, if she can't go swimming, we're going to go to the library and make stuff with beads. I'll also bring my little container of Crayola and other cheap kiddie art suppy stuff and some paper. Beads will be too boring for 2-3 hours. The library closes at 5 so we'll have to do something else after that. I have my client until 6 tonight.
I figure that once i get home from dropping her off, I 'll spend the rest of the night studying. I'm just going to have to read the study guide aloud. I think i'm better at retaining stuff auditorily now. I'm nervous because i only got 63% on my practice test. Need 70% to pass. BUT i did rush through the practice exam because I wanted to see what the whole thing was like. I know i got some of the questions wrong because they were the type that went "every statement below is true EXCEPT". And most of the choices were negative . I didn't take the time to figure out each double negative thing. I'll do that at teh test. There were also quite a few I got wrong but my first gut feeling for the answers was right. but i went against the gut feeling and chose a different answer. So, maybe taking my time with the real test will help. And ther e are some sections I just did awful on because I just didn't know the information. So I'll go over that tonight and tomorrow. I'm also going to leave early enough so i should be about an hour early just so i can review stuff right before the test.
I knew I shouldn't have left the house this morning to get my hair cut. I knew it would throw my time off for the rest of the day. I always lose track of time. Always seem to get distracted by something else if what i'm supposed to be doing isn't set in stone by someone else's schedule. And, since I quit taking my meds, it's worse. I can't even take the St. John's Wort anymore. I'm wondering if that is attributing to this stupid allergic rash. I think I was taking the St John's Wort AFTER the rash appeared, but I'm not sure. This rash seems to be going away though, since i quit taking it. Maybe I can find a different brand with different ingredients in the capsule or something. I felt so ON and almost like before when I was taking them.
That poor puppy is outside carrying on again. I feel so bad for it.
Hopefully, I'll be able to get home in time to call the doctor's office for an appointment after my . test Monday. I can't keep going on like this. I'm sooooo in my head now. Way too much. And, I've been overanalyzing everything and nothing. I hate feeling this way. It's ridiculous. I need to start getting ready my stuff together for work and start getting my mindset back to normal again so i can go and play the game of being like everyone else. Guess i just need to turn my mind "off".