A Depressing Story

[jaune_chat]

This is a depressing story. In here I speak only of the bad parts of my life. Know that even though I only write sadness here, I have had many good and happy experiences in my life. But it is in my nature to dwell upon my mistakes and my sorrows, particularly at this point in my life when knowing how they came about can help me understand myself

Comments

[feather_touch]

I don't know what to say other than I'm certainly glad you're still here. Far too many have like stories and far too many don't survive.

[jaune_chat]

Thank you for reading. Putting this out there was partially for purging purposes, but also to let people know that depression can take many forms, and not all of them obvious. If this helps someone, then I am glad to do this. And I'm quite willing to answer questions anyone has about it either.

[feather_touch]

I think it was very brave and kind of you.

[brighteyed_jill]

Props to you for having the courage to write all of this out. If even one person reads this and changes his behavior because of it--whether someone who doesn't understand how harmful her bullying is, or someone who realizes he's not alone in the pain he feels, or someone who's remaining silent when she suspects a friend is drifting away--you've done something wonderful

[jaune_chat]

Your help was invaluable, dearest. I treasure that. I would have missed out on too many good things if I'd gone. *hug*

[jaune_chat]

It's totally ok to reply to this. I put it out there for public consumption, such as it is, as a story, a history, a cautionary tale, and to point out to others that they don't have to be sleeping in the dark for eighteen hours a day to need to seek help for their problems.

Thanks for taking the time to read this, and thank you for your good wishes and praise. :-)

[callisto24]

*hugs*

Depression could have killed me, and it still could if I’m not careful. I consider it similar to living with a long-term illness like diabetes.

Exactly what my therapist tells me all the time. It is kind of a long-term illness and needs treatment.
Medication helped me a lot, though it took some years to work out finally.
But, that's why I'm pretty sure that there exists at least one physical reason which needs to be treated.

Thanks for sharing and encouraging.
*hugs again*

[jaune_chat]

Indeed, the combination of medication and therapy helped. There were two people in my family with depression or similar disorders, so I know there's definitely a physical problem. The medication helped balance out my brain chemistry enough so I could function better, so the combination of the two (drugs and therapy) was very effective.

Thanks for the hug! *hug!*

[jaune_chat]

What was coincidentally make the situation harder to speak of at the time was that there was a very close friend of the family that was also being treated for depression. But she had colon cancer and was undergoing painful chemotherapy. I felt like a self-indulgent poor little rich girl in comparison, but when I talked with her later, she told me that my problems were no lesser than hers, and even harder to deal with, as my problems were much more difficult to pinpoint and treat. I didn't have the neat peg of, "I'm dying and my body is betraying me!" to hang my bad feelings upon, which in addition to being scary and confusing was also as irritating and annoying as hell