(no subject)
It is very strange to be sitting at home alone on a Saturday morning. I've watched half a dozen episodes of various sitcoms on abcFamily. I have eaten one bowl of cereal, half a bagel, and some leftover Halloween candy. Two loads of laundry and three stories on CM later, I am now just sort of sitting here, wondering what I should do next. My life has been so intertwined with Kevin's that I no longer know what I want to do. Nothing's planned, it's all up to me, and that feels almost unbearably foreign. Part of me wants to call him up, but that would be cruel because I don't want to be with him, I'm just lonely. His last email was little more than a guilt trip, which upset me, so I don't even have a genuine desire to talk to him, per se. I'm alone and that's lonely and I hate this feeling. But I suppose I'd better get used to it, because I'm single again and this is what single people do. They sleep in on Saturdays and have to call their own shots and be their own company. I'd forgotten what that's really like.
You'd think, since it was my idea to break-up, this would be easier.
You'd think, since it was my idea to break-up, this would be easier.