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[jasonroses]

9 days to go.

I'm really scared.

I've been looking forward to the day nine days from now and I've been thinking about how me and Kate will be back together. When the fact of the matter is that we may not be. I need to take into account everything. Maybe I've been the one wrong. Maybe my reliance and dependency has driven me to this point. Maybe in

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[anything_lovely]

Sometimes the lonely road is the one that leads to true life. To freedom. To an intimacy that no man or woman could ever provide. The lonely road is one that many have to walk at one point.. But it is usually the ones that choose to say "yes" to that road that come out on top.. As opposed to the hurting ones that resist it and seek false comfort, until they are faced with no other choice but the hurt.

Jason, you have something in you that is so special. You truly could change the world. And I'm not saying any of this just to sound like some cheesy Christian garbage. God has made you just the way you are, with your interests, your abilities, your heart, so that you can come to know Him in such an amazing, dependent, worry-free, continually faithful relationship. HE WANTS TO KNOW YOU MORE. And as much as it hurts to let go of the things we care about, in our weakness, He is made strong.

I've read, and heard, and even said so many times "Stay strong." ..It wasn't until recently that I undertstood that it has nothing to do with how strong we are. It has everything to do with how weak we are, and strong the Lord is, when we allow Him to be. I so wish that I could help you understand how significant this is, if you do not already know. God is calling us to be seperate from the world. To be called apart. To be revolutionaries of the only revolution that has ever really been worth it. God has called us first, however, to be His lover. To rest in Him. To find peace. True peace. To find comfort. Through all pain. To find joy. In any and all circumstances. In Him. He loves us so freaking much.

He doesn't want us to stand up and puff out our chests and boast about how "we can do it!" He wants us to come running to Him. To say, "Lord, I can't do anything without You." When was the last time you did that, Jason? When you ran to your heavenly Father and wept before Him, knowing you are nothing without His grace? Have we lost it, brother? Have we gotten so carried away with ourselves, and our wants, and our "needs".. That we lost it?

I pray not. I pray that God sticks with us. In our faithlessness, in our stupidity. I pray that your heart is healed. That you have peace that surpasses what the world can ever understand. I pray.. that you fall in love with the very Author of Love.. Who died so that your heart might not be broken.

Just think about it.. He risks heartbreak everyday, chasing after the affection of a bride that runs from perfect Love. He risks it everyday, because He thinks you're worth it.