Fic: You're not alone (Private Practice)
Title: You're not alone
Author: jas_mien
Rating: PG
Pairing/Character: Addison/NoahSummary: What if something happens to Addison that forces Noah to make a decision?
Noah was sitting on a bench in front of the hospital. His elbows propped on his knees and his head in his hands. This was so messed up.
He had checked on Addison on his way out but she was asleep. He had stood in front of her bed and just looked at her. She was beautiful and he always loved to watch her when she was asleep. She didn't know and it would probably creep her out but when he looked at her he felt at peace. His body relaxed and a warmth spread through every muscle. He felt like he needed her to stay alive, to breath and to function. He had never felt like this before and could only image that this was what true love felt like.
But the love for a child was something totally different. It was a love you couldn't deny. When he had entered the hospital he felt only anger for Morgan. She had destroyed his evening with Addison and he couldn't get the picture out of his head when he had left Addison in the living room. The hurt in her eyes and the fear in her words. But then he had looked at Mona for the first time and a smile had spread over his face. He couldn't control it. Holding his daughter was the most amazing thing he had ever felt. And he couldn't give this up.
This was a decision he wasn't able to make. Addison or Mona. The love of his life or his daughter.
XxX
Naomi was just about to enter Addison's room when her pager went off. It was a 911 and told her she was supposed to report at the nurses station on the maternity ward. Naomi frowned and took the elevator up.
“I got a 911 call?”
She asked the nurse sitting behind the counter.
“Oh, Dr. Bennett, yes. It's Morgan Gellman. She has internal bleedings, complications from the delivery. We need you to assist. Due to Dr. Montgomery being sick you're the next on the emergency list. Also because she was a patient in your practice.”
Naomi swallowed. This was just perfect.
“Okay. I'm going to scrub in.”
Naomi walked off to the OR wing where Morgan was already prepped for the emergency surgery.
At the same time Noah's pager went off in his locker where he had but his clothes before changing into his scrubs and going in to stand by Morgan during giving birth.
XxX
Addison awoke and found herself in a hospital bed again. She exhaled deeply and tried to remember what had happened. After a moment everything came back into her mind. Noah. Morgan. The baby. Naomi bringing her to the hospital.
She heard someone clear their throat and turned to the door from where the sound came. Noah stood there leaning against the door frame and gave her a weak smile.
“Hey.”
He walked towards her slowly and brought the chair in the corner closer to her bed. He sat down and took her hand with an IV tube in it. He caressed her fingers with his thumb and stared at their hands unable to look up.
“I have a daughter.”
He whispered.
Addison felt a lump forming in her throat. Her body went rigid with fear and she could barely breath. When Noah looked up into her eyes, Addison could feel a shock going through her bones. Her heart started to physically hurt and the heat that brought the tears to her eyes was rising in her chest.
Addison pulled her hand out of Noah's grasp.
“So you're choosing her?”
Noah gazed at her with watery eyes.
“She's the mother of my daughter. My child deserves to grow up in a family.”
Addison nodded absentmindedly. She remembered Morgan's words in the ambulance. That this child was supposed to save their marriage. And now it happened exactly this way. Addison swallowed back tears.
“Please leave.”
She whispered. The words unbelievably heavy on her lips.
“Addison.”
Noah tried to take her hand again put she pulled it away.
“Just go. Please. “
Now she wasn't able to fight the tears anymore.
“Don't you understand that it hurts. You being here, so close. It hurts, Noah. It's torture. Please go.”
Noah nodded. He understood those feelings better than she imagined.
He stood up and leaned over Addison. There was no way for her to escape now. He bent down and kissed her on the forehead.
Addison's body was shaking by sobs when he walked to the door and left the room without turning back.
XxX
When Noah stepped into the hallway a nurse came running towards him.
“Dr. Barnes! We have been looking for you everywhere. Why don't you answer your pager?”
Noah checked his scrub pants and only realized now that he didn't have his paper with him.
“I must have left in the locker room, sorry. What patient is it about?”
The nurse gave him a sympathetic look.
“It's your wife. We had to rush her into surgery half an hour ago.”
Noah felt his heart beating rapidly. His palms starting to sweat.
“What happened? Everything was fine when I left her.”
The nurse try to explain the situation to him while gesturing for them to move along the hallway in the direction of the OR wing.
“There where unpredictable complications. She started bleeding all of a sudden.”
Noah took a deep breath.
“Is she stable now?”
The nurse looked onto the floor.
“I don't know. She's still in surgery. Dr. Thomas and Dr. Bennett are trying everything to stop the bleeding.”
Noah swallowed. He felt uneasy with the thought of loosing Morgan. But it was a lighter feeling than the one he had felt a few days ago when he feared to loose Addison. This was wrong. Morgan was his wife. These feeling made him doubt his decision. Maybe there was no way that they could be a family. Maybe this was fate's way to show him.
When they turned around the corner and faced the doors to the OR, Naomi walked out and pulled off her scrub cap. She looked at Noah and shook her head.
Noah grabbed the wall. But the feelings that overwhelmed him where surprise and disbelieve. Why had he been tortured to make a decision and face the impossible when fate now decided to take this decision into it's own hands?
He looked at Naomi who stood close to him and put her hand on his shoulder.
“I'm sorry. We didn't had a chance to stop the bleeding, it was too intense.”
He could only nod. Not able to speak or think. His wife was dead. His daughter would have to live without a mother. And they wouldn't be a family after all.
Noah walked along the hallway in a daze and ended up outside in front of the hospital on the same bench he had been sitting before. A few hours ago at this place his life had been a shipwreck, or so he had thought. But now....it was even more. The ship had sunk to the ground and would maybe never surface again.
Noah let his head fall into his hands and let the tears fall. All the emotions of this day overwhelming him. Addison's words from the day they spend in garden ringing in his ears. You know, it's so scary how one single day can change the rest of your life.
Naomi stood in front of the glass window and looked at the little girl who's mother had to give her life to bring her into the world.
Addison was lying in her hospital bed. The tears now only drying streams on her face.
Author: jas_mien
Rating: PG
Pairing/Character: Addison/NoahSummary: What if something happens to Addison that forces Noah to make a decision?
Noah was sitting on a bench in front of the hospital. His elbows propped on his knees and his head in his hands. This was so messed up.
He had checked on Addison on his way out but she was asleep. He had stood in front of her bed and just looked at her. She was beautiful and he always loved to watch her when she was asleep. She didn't know and it would probably creep her out but when he looked at her he felt at peace. His body relaxed and a warmth spread through every muscle. He felt like he needed her to stay alive, to breath and to function. He had never felt like this before and could only image that this was what true love felt like.
But the love for a child was something totally different. It was a love you couldn't deny. When he had entered the hospital he felt only anger for Morgan. She had destroyed his evening with Addison and he couldn't get the picture out of his head when he had left Addison in the living room. The hurt in her eyes and the fear in her words. But then he had looked at Mona for the first time and a smile had spread over his face. He couldn't control it. Holding his daughter was the most amazing thing he had ever felt. And he couldn't give this up.
This was a decision he wasn't able to make. Addison or Mona. The love of his life or his daughter.
XxX
Naomi was just about to enter Addison's room when her pager went off. It was a 911 and told her she was supposed to report at the nurses station on the maternity ward. Naomi frowned and took the elevator up.
“I got a 911 call?”
She asked the nurse sitting behind the counter.
“Oh, Dr. Bennett, yes. It's Morgan Gellman. She has internal bleedings, complications from the delivery. We need you to assist. Due to Dr. Montgomery being sick you're the next on the emergency list. Also because she was a patient in your practice.”
Naomi swallowed. This was just perfect.
“Okay. I'm going to scrub in.”
Naomi walked off to the OR wing where Morgan was already prepped for the emergency surgery.
At the same time Noah's pager went off in his locker where he had but his clothes before changing into his scrubs and going in to stand by Morgan during giving birth.
XxX
Addison awoke and found herself in a hospital bed again. She exhaled deeply and tried to remember what had happened. After a moment everything came back into her mind. Noah. Morgan. The baby. Naomi bringing her to the hospital.
She heard someone clear their throat and turned to the door from where the sound came. Noah stood there leaning against the door frame and gave her a weak smile.
“Hey.”
He walked towards her slowly and brought the chair in the corner closer to her bed. He sat down and took her hand with an IV tube in it. He caressed her fingers with his thumb and stared at their hands unable to look up.
“I have a daughter.”
He whispered.
Addison felt a lump forming in her throat. Her body went rigid with fear and she could barely breath. When Noah looked up into her eyes, Addison could feel a shock going through her bones. Her heart started to physically hurt and the heat that brought the tears to her eyes was rising in her chest.
Addison pulled her hand out of Noah's grasp.
“So you're choosing her?”
Noah gazed at her with watery eyes.
“She's the mother of my daughter. My child deserves to grow up in a family.”
Addison nodded absentmindedly. She remembered Morgan's words in the ambulance. That this child was supposed to save their marriage. And now it happened exactly this way. Addison swallowed back tears.
“Please leave.”
She whispered. The words unbelievably heavy on her lips.
“Addison.”
Noah tried to take her hand again put she pulled it away.
“Just go. Please. “
Now she wasn't able to fight the tears anymore.
“Don't you understand that it hurts. You being here, so close. It hurts, Noah. It's torture. Please go.”
Noah nodded. He understood those feelings better than she imagined.
He stood up and leaned over Addison. There was no way for her to escape now. He bent down and kissed her on the forehead.
Addison's body was shaking by sobs when he walked to the door and left the room without turning back.
XxX
When Noah stepped into the hallway a nurse came running towards him.
“Dr. Barnes! We have been looking for you everywhere. Why don't you answer your pager?”
Noah checked his scrub pants and only realized now that he didn't have his paper with him.
“I must have left in the locker room, sorry. What patient is it about?”
The nurse gave him a sympathetic look.
“It's your wife. We had to rush her into surgery half an hour ago.”
Noah felt his heart beating rapidly. His palms starting to sweat.
“What happened? Everything was fine when I left her.”
The nurse try to explain the situation to him while gesturing for them to move along the hallway in the direction of the OR wing.
“There where unpredictable complications. She started bleeding all of a sudden.”
Noah took a deep breath.
“Is she stable now?”
The nurse looked onto the floor.
“I don't know. She's still in surgery. Dr. Thomas and Dr. Bennett are trying everything to stop the bleeding.”
Noah swallowed. He felt uneasy with the thought of loosing Morgan. But it was a lighter feeling than the one he had felt a few days ago when he feared to loose Addison. This was wrong. Morgan was his wife. These feeling made him doubt his decision. Maybe there was no way that they could be a family. Maybe this was fate's way to show him.
When they turned around the corner and faced the doors to the OR, Naomi walked out and pulled off her scrub cap. She looked at Noah and shook her head.
Noah grabbed the wall. But the feelings that overwhelmed him where surprise and disbelieve. Why had he been tortured to make a decision and face the impossible when fate now decided to take this decision into it's own hands?
He looked at Naomi who stood close to him and put her hand on his shoulder.
“I'm sorry. We didn't had a chance to stop the bleeding, it was too intense.”
He could only nod. Not able to speak or think. His wife was dead. His daughter would have to live without a mother. And they wouldn't be a family after all.
Noah walked along the hallway in a daze and ended up outside in front of the hospital on the same bench he had been sitting before. A few hours ago at this place his life had been a shipwreck, or so he had thought. But now....it was even more. The ship had sunk to the ground and would maybe never surface again.
Noah let his head fall into his hands and let the tears fall. All the emotions of this day overwhelming him. Addison's words from the day they spend in garden ringing in his ears. You know, it's so scary how one single day can change the rest of your life.
Naomi stood in front of the glass window and looked at the little girl who's mother had to give her life to bring her into the world.
Addison was lying in her hospital bed. The tears now only drying streams on her face.