It’s not easy...
There are so many moments throughout my average day where I will forget about where I should be, what I need to do, or what I was thinking about 30 seconds before these time-stopping moments. Everyone does this to some extent, anfd my moments can go anywhere from a few seconds to hours on end.
These escapes from the mundane are catalyzed by the strangest things sometimes. In class, we are taught to tear apart any meaning we can find from poetry, film, literature, etc. So I am constantly seeking meaning in everything. The trouble is there are some things that may not have meaning, or maybe the meaning I give to something is of my design. CREATED and not DISCOVERED.
Also, there is the constant struggle of possibly interpretting something the wrong way. I have come to realize that if I were to tell you some things or moments in my life that were beautiful to me.... Well, you’d think I was nuts.
So that is what I am struggling with when it comes to classes, friends, and families: trying to not sound weird or crazy BUT wanting to share. One starts to filter things they say according to the predicted responses of those that care enough to listen to you.
That’s what you are doing right now, isn’t it? You have some motive to trudge through my rambling thoughts and find some meaning in it. I feel so caught up in myself when I blog...
Pompous, arrogant, and narcisisstic (sp?)... because as much as I try to look into, analyze, and decipher people.... the scariest moments are when you look at yourself in the mirror, brushing your teeth.
Then the mirror image cocks his head and says, "Oh, there you are! I forgot about you. You got a haircut... musta realized that other people have to look at you throughout the day, huh? I forgot how big your nose was, oh my God!"
~pause~
Okay... ummm... when I start talkin’ to myself.... I think maybe it’s time to stop writing.
These escapes from the mundane are catalyzed by the strangest things sometimes. In class, we are taught to tear apart any meaning we can find from poetry, film, literature, etc. So I am constantly seeking meaning in everything. The trouble is there are some things that may not have meaning, or maybe the meaning I give to something is of my design. CREATED and not DISCOVERED.
Also, there is the constant struggle of possibly interpretting something the wrong way. I have come to realize that if I were to tell you some things or moments in my life that were beautiful to me.... Well, you’d think I was nuts.
So that is what I am struggling with when it comes to classes, friends, and families: trying to not sound weird or crazy BUT wanting to share. One starts to filter things they say according to the predicted responses of those that care enough to listen to you.
That’s what you are doing right now, isn’t it? You have some motive to trudge through my rambling thoughts and find some meaning in it. I feel so caught up in myself when I blog...
Pompous, arrogant, and narcisisstic (sp?)... because as much as I try to look into, analyze, and decipher people.... the scariest moments are when you look at yourself in the mirror, brushing your teeth.
Then the mirror image cocks his head and says, "Oh, there you are! I forgot about you. You got a haircut... musta realized that other people have to look at you throughout the day, huh? I forgot how big your nose was, oh my God!"
~pause~
Okay... ummm... when I start talkin’ to myself.... I think maybe it’s time to stop writing.