*EHRRRR! EHRRRR!*
Rating: K+
Iruka blinked. Then blinked again.
Then he started throwing sharp, pointy things. “Out! Out! OUT! You’re WAY too old to be trick-or-treating!”
“But Irrruuuukaa-senseeeeeiii-”
“Did you HONESTLY think that crappy genjutsu would fool me?!” Iruka threw more spikey things at sensitive areas. “OUT! Before you live to regret what I’ll do to you!”
“My Lovely and Passionate Love, did you not think that you were a Little Bit Harsh?” Gai asked, rag in hand. It seemed he still was trying to get all the fake blood off.
“NO.”
“I believe they were only out for a Little Harmless Fun-”
“Gai, if you even think of defending them in any way, shape, or form, I’ll do the same thing to you that I’m going to do to them.”
Gai returned to scrubbing at his face with renewed vigour.
Iruka stole a piece of candy as he tossed his bowl on the coffee table. The number of children knocking on the door had decreased dramatically as the evening crawled into night and Iruka was pleased to note he wasn’t going to be left with a massive amount of candy, nor was he going to run out. He might have finally found the perfect amount of candy to buy.
“Was I properly Scary and Terrifying this year?” Gai asked, still trying to get the red out of his skin.
“Very much so.” Iruka reached up and pulled down one of his storage bins. He hated to pack up a holiday before it was over, but since he was going to be double-backing at his jobs in the next few days; it was either now or after the temperature plunged.
“Ah, let me help with that! It will be a Wonderful-”
“Fake blood off FIRST.” Iruka wrestled the bin away from his overenthusiastic lover. “I’m not going to be cleaning blood off of my decorations.”
“I shall Wash Off all of the Fake Blood in the Next Five Minutes or else I will Set Up all the Winter Decorations with One Hand!”
“Don’t take your skin off with it.”
“Do Not Fear! I shall not!”
The doorbell rang again and Iruka swooped up the candy bowl with one hand and a handful of shurikens in the other.
“Trick or treat!” A pink princess and a ghost chirped.
“Did you think I’m stupid?” Iruka asked in a deadly soft voice. “Do you honestly think that I’m that thick?!”
The ghost threw a nervous glance at the chunin and then grabbed the princess. “Sorry! Wrong house! We’ll be on our way now!”
“Iruka, Love-” Gai called out from inside the bathroom.
“Candy! CAAAAANDDDYY!!!” The princess wailed, flinging herself at Iruka’s bowl. “’Ruka-sensei always has the best stuff!”
Iruka threw the shurikens. The little princess dodged and lunged forwards, a triumphant look on her tiny face-
-Only to find herself being flung back against the far wall with a gigantic cardboard cut-out of an aging Icha Icha star bearing down on her. There was a horrified yelp and the cut-out was hit with a fire jutsu, which promptly activated the sprinkler system, soaking the two figures in the hall.
The ghost quivered as Iruka turned his murderous glare on him. “It was her idea!” He yelled, and then ran as fast as his legs could carry him in the other direction.
Iruka slammed his door shut crossly. “Damn jounins,” he muttered crossly. “Thinking that I’ll be fooled and give them free candy because they use some crappy genjutsu.”
x Fin x
Iruka blinked. Then blinked again.
Then he started throwing sharp, pointy things. “Out! Out! OUT! You’re WAY too old to be trick-or-treating!”
“But Irrruuuukaa-senseeeeeiii-”
“Did you HONESTLY think that crappy genjutsu would fool me?!” Iruka threw more spikey things at sensitive areas. “OUT! Before you live to regret what I’ll do to you!”
“My Lovely and Passionate Love, did you not think that you were a Little Bit Harsh?” Gai asked, rag in hand. It seemed he still was trying to get all the fake blood off.
“NO.”
“I believe they were only out for a Little Harmless Fun-”
“Gai, if you even think of defending them in any way, shape, or form, I’ll do the same thing to you that I’m going to do to them.”
Gai returned to scrubbing at his face with renewed vigour.
Iruka stole a piece of candy as he tossed his bowl on the coffee table. The number of children knocking on the door had decreased dramatically as the evening crawled into night and Iruka was pleased to note he wasn’t going to be left with a massive amount of candy, nor was he going to run out. He might have finally found the perfect amount of candy to buy.
“Was I properly Scary and Terrifying this year?” Gai asked, still trying to get the red out of his skin.
“Very much so.” Iruka reached up and pulled down one of his storage bins. He hated to pack up a holiday before it was over, but since he was going to be double-backing at his jobs in the next few days; it was either now or after the temperature plunged.
“Ah, let me help with that! It will be a Wonderful-”
“Fake blood off FIRST.” Iruka wrestled the bin away from his overenthusiastic lover. “I’m not going to be cleaning blood off of my decorations.”
“I shall Wash Off all of the Fake Blood in the Next Five Minutes or else I will Set Up all the Winter Decorations with One Hand!”
“Don’t take your skin off with it.”
“Do Not Fear! I shall not!”
The doorbell rang again and Iruka swooped up the candy bowl with one hand and a handful of shurikens in the other.
“Trick or treat!” A pink princess and a ghost chirped.
“Did you think I’m stupid?” Iruka asked in a deadly soft voice. “Do you honestly think that I’m that thick?!”
The ghost threw a nervous glance at the chunin and then grabbed the princess. “Sorry! Wrong house! We’ll be on our way now!”
“Iruka, Love-” Gai called out from inside the bathroom.
“Candy! CAAAAANDDDYY!!!” The princess wailed, flinging herself at Iruka’s bowl. “’Ruka-sensei always has the best stuff!”
Iruka threw the shurikens. The little princess dodged and lunged forwards, a triumphant look on her tiny face-
-Only to find herself being flung back against the far wall with a gigantic cardboard cut-out of an aging Icha Icha star bearing down on her. There was a horrified yelp and the cut-out was hit with a fire jutsu, which promptly activated the sprinkler system, soaking the two figures in the hall.
The ghost quivered as Iruka turned his murderous glare on him. “It was her idea!” He yelled, and then ran as fast as his legs could carry him in the other direction.
Iruka slammed his door shut crossly. “Damn jounins,” he muttered crossly. “Thinking that I’ll be fooled and give them free candy because they use some crappy genjutsu.”
x Fin x