Jari For Gubernator
Even as you read this, our planet is slipping irrevocably further from the sun. By the end of the year, temperatures in the northern hemisphere alone will plummet to the lowest they have been all season. We cannot ignore this problem any longer. Vote Jari for governor.
It's time to put the goober back in gubernatorial. Write-in Jari for governor.
In these troubles times, we need a leader who is strong, decisive, wise, honest, and dedicated. Or we could vote for the cute one. Jari for governor.
November 7th is election day, and it is you God-given right as an American to vote irresponsibly. Make a statement, vote for Jari.
Last year the state reported a $700* surplus. Think how much ice cream you could buy for that! Jari for governor.
According to scientists*, Earth has to heat just up a few more degrees before the polar ice caps will melt causing worldwide flooding and scorching the planet with record-high temperatures, triggering the next ice age. Who do you want to be in charge when this happens? Vote for Jari.
The American people are tired of being told what to do, that's why they will vote Jari this November.
Last Wednesday, the current governor had steak and mashed potatoes with a side of tossed salad*, but the American public never heard about it. The same evening, his opponent had a hamburger and fries at a local fast food joint*, but this fact also was omitted from press releases. It's time to stop this policy of secrecy and omissions. It's time to make a difference. It's time to vote for Jari.
*All facts and intelligence are "gathered" by "scientists" in the Irresponsible Party's Bureau of Misinformation and Made up Statistics.
It's time to put the goober back in gubernatorial. Write-in Jari for governor.
In these troubles times, we need a leader who is strong, decisive, wise, honest, and dedicated. Or we could vote for the cute one. Jari for governor.
November 7th is election day, and it is you God-given right as an American to vote irresponsibly. Make a statement, vote for Jari.
Last year the state reported a $700* surplus. Think how much ice cream you could buy for that! Jari for governor.
According to scientists*, Earth has to heat just up a few more degrees before the polar ice caps will melt causing worldwide flooding and scorching the planet with record-high temperatures, triggering the next ice age. Who do you want to be in charge when this happens? Vote for Jari.
The American people are tired of being told what to do, that's why they will vote Jari this November.
Last Wednesday, the current governor had steak and mashed potatoes with a side of tossed salad*, but the American public never heard about it. The same evening, his opponent had a hamburger and fries at a local fast food joint*, but this fact also was omitted from press releases. It's time to stop this policy of secrecy and omissions. It's time to make a difference. It's time to vote for Jari.
*All facts and intelligence are "gathered" by "scientists" in the Irresponsible Party's Bureau of Misinformation and Made up Statistics.