(no subject)
I wanted to expand on the feeling of completely absorption I found physically with Dan. I mentioned it in my previous post, where I described it as the commentating voice in my head shutting up.
It's the same kind of feeling I can get when getting really into a drawing, or an algebra problem, or, sometimes a book (that happens less often the more I read, depressingly; I tend to analyse what the author's doing. Same with films). I get it from cycling, or dancing. I also, for the first time last Friday, got it from drinking, and now I understand why people do that.
It's all of you coming together as one whole, rather than a collection of jumbled parts. When drawing, or solving problems, it's like nothing exists in the world beyond your mind and the tip of the pencil. Nothing at all. It's like flying. That's why I study maths, because that gives me that feeling more than any other activity.
Really, though, it had nothing to do with Dan-the-person, and I'm fairly confident I can find it somewhere else. It's valuable because it's rare, but I don't believe it's so rare as for him to be the only person in the world whom I can get that from.
I know I'm talking about him a lot these days, but on the other hand, I'm really not. I'm talking about how I understand things about myself in terms of him.:)
It's the same kind of feeling I can get when getting really into a drawing, or an algebra problem, or, sometimes a book (that happens less often the more I read, depressingly; I tend to analyse what the author's doing. Same with films). I get it from cycling, or dancing. I also, for the first time last Friday, got it from drinking, and now I understand why people do that.
It's all of you coming together as one whole, rather than a collection of jumbled parts. When drawing, or solving problems, it's like nothing exists in the world beyond your mind and the tip of the pencil. Nothing at all. It's like flying. That's why I study maths, because that gives me that feeling more than any other activity.
Really, though, it had nothing to do with Dan-the-person, and I'm fairly confident I can find it somewhere else. It's valuable because it's rare, but I don't believe it's so rare as for him to be the only person in the world whom I can get that from.
I know I'm talking about him a lot these days, but on the other hand, I'm really not. I'm talking about how I understand things about myself in terms of him.:)