[fic] Harry Potter and the Chamber Pot of Secrets
TITLE: Harry Potter and the Chamber Pot of Secrets
AUTHOR: Janni
STYLE/WARNINGS: Gen, warnings for supernaturality and mild horror.
WORD COUNT: 943
SUMMARY: It's Potty Wee Potter. Whee!
"Don't be shy, Harry, it's only me," Moaning Myrtle giggled and floated backward, away from Harry, in what she hoped was a come-hither fashion.
"What did you want with me this time?" Harry said, doubtfully.
"I want to show you something. Truthfully, I'd have shown you sooner, except you never come visit me anymore..." she trailed off, pouting and looking sadly down at where her feet floated above the floor of the girls' bathroom.
"Could you be quick about it? I've got Snape next period and you know what'll happen to me if I'm late again..." Harry followed hot on Myrtle's heels, not even pausing for a response from her. As a result, when he barrelled through the door of the stall outside of which she hovered, he fell right into the gaping chasm that had opened up in the bottom of a small, plain white ceramic pot that sat in the stall where a toilet normally would have done.
"Actually, I was counting on it." Myrtle giggled again, answering a now-nonexistant Harry softly.
******
When Harry came to, he recognised nothing. All around him, the world seemed to have gotten extremely filthy. He was quite sure he wasn't in Hogwarts any longer, although the dense fog layering everything fooled him at first into thinking it was merely his mind playing a trick on him.
He wandered around for awhile, seeing street signs he didn't recognise (where had he ever seen a Bachman Road, anyway?), general clutter and disarray, and feeling very strangely about the utter barrenness of his surroundings. It was quiet, except for his footsteps and other ambient environmental noises such as the wind, or a newspaper skittering by across the road. It didn't seem a living creature had been here for ages; all the shops were shut up and looked abandoned, all the cars stood by the side of the road had no-one in them, and most of all, there were no passers-by to gape at the strange boy in the funny clothes wandering around in what looked decidedly like a very Mugglish sort of town.
Suddenly, the road he'd been walking down came to an abrupt halt. It was as though a giant had come through and smashed a large chunk out of it; there was rubble strewn around, and it certainly hadn't been cut smoothly and evenly, but there was no mistaking it; the road ahead was missing. There were no signs warning of a detour or construction work; indeed, it was just as though this was how things naturally were.
Harry stooped down as he spied a scrap of foolscap lying in the rubble. "In trouble. Need help," it read, with no signature.
But there was no doubting the handwriting, even though it was only four words. Uncertain what sort of prank Ron was trying to pull, Harry stuffed the scrap into a pocket beneath his robes and stood up.
Just then, a miniature cerberus with great gaping bloody wounds and a lot of bloody, foamy flecks of spittle ranged around its distressingly undulating maw leapt at Harry. He yelped in surprise, hand instantly reaching for his wand.
"Accio broomstick!" he yelled, half thinking it would be awfully handy to be able to fly away just now, and half thinking he needed to come up with a better plan. A moment later, he shouted "Petrificus totallus!" and instantly sent the now-frozen beast clattering to the ground.
"Are those...bandages?" Harry wondered aloud, fingering the filthy scraps that hung off the creature that now lay in front of him as he crouched to examine the creature. "I guess I'd be angry, too. Looks like this dog has definitely seen better days."
Harry heard footsteps behind him and a sharp intake of breath. He whirled around, heart pounding loudly as he faced a suspiciously corporeal Myrtle who now stood in front of him.
"You're standing," was in fact all the wit Harry could muster to greet her.
"You don't look very happy to see me," Myrtle responded, pulling a pout and batting her eyelashes at Harry sadly. "And of course I'm standing, what else would I do, float?"
This gave Harry pause, as in fact that had been exactly what he'd been expecting. "It's dangerous to be out here alone. I nearly got mauled by that...thing," he said, by way of further introduction, as he nodded toward the newly collapsed beast at his feet.
"Are you suggesting we team up?" Myrtle flashed a brilliant grin at Harry and sidled up to him, grabbing his arm possessively and feeling strangely warm and alive.
"For the time being, I believe that's the safest idea," Harry swallowed down his apprehension and clasped Myrtle's hand firmly in reassurance. After all, what could it hurt? He was quite sure this was all a dream, after all. It had to be. No place on earth was like this, except perhaps in someone's overactive imagination.
******
Meanwhile, back in Hogwarts, Filch smiled a nasty smile to himself as he gathered up the small ceramic pot from the stall in which it had been sitting. Mrs. Norris twined herself about his ankles happily, purring. "Now how did this get out of the contraband closet?" Filch wondered aloud, perhaps a bit too smugly. "It's an awfully dangerous thing to leave lying about. I'd better lock it up. Safety first and all that."
~~~FIN~~~
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Didn't want to give away what I was doing before you read this, so I'll note here this is a crossover with the Silent Hill universe. That is, if you hadn't already caught that part. Some of you will, some of you won't. I can say if you've read down this far and you're unfamiliar with Silent Hill, I haven't spoiled you at all for the games or the movie. Just in case you're concerned.
DISCLAIMER: HP + co belong to RoRo, Bloomsbury, Scholastic, Raincoast, and a lot of people who aren't me. Silent Hill belongs to Team Silent and KCET. No infringement is intended and no money is being made.
AUTHOR: Janni
STYLE/WARNINGS: Gen, warnings for supernaturality and mild horror.
WORD COUNT: 943
SUMMARY: It's Potty Wee Potter. Whee!
"Don't be shy, Harry, it's only me," Moaning Myrtle giggled and floated backward, away from Harry, in what she hoped was a come-hither fashion.
"What did you want with me this time?" Harry said, doubtfully.
"I want to show you something. Truthfully, I'd have shown you sooner, except you never come visit me anymore..." she trailed off, pouting and looking sadly down at where her feet floated above the floor of the girls' bathroom.
"Could you be quick about it? I've got Snape next period and you know what'll happen to me if I'm late again..." Harry followed hot on Myrtle's heels, not even pausing for a response from her. As a result, when he barrelled through the door of the stall outside of which she hovered, he fell right into the gaping chasm that had opened up in the bottom of a small, plain white ceramic pot that sat in the stall where a toilet normally would have done.
"Actually, I was counting on it." Myrtle giggled again, answering a now-nonexistant Harry softly.
******
When Harry came to, he recognised nothing. All around him, the world seemed to have gotten extremely filthy. He was quite sure he wasn't in Hogwarts any longer, although the dense fog layering everything fooled him at first into thinking it was merely his mind playing a trick on him.
He wandered around for awhile, seeing street signs he didn't recognise (where had he ever seen a Bachman Road, anyway?), general clutter and disarray, and feeling very strangely about the utter barrenness of his surroundings. It was quiet, except for his footsteps and other ambient environmental noises such as the wind, or a newspaper skittering by across the road. It didn't seem a living creature had been here for ages; all the shops were shut up and looked abandoned, all the cars stood by the side of the road had no-one in them, and most of all, there were no passers-by to gape at the strange boy in the funny clothes wandering around in what looked decidedly like a very Mugglish sort of town.
Suddenly, the road he'd been walking down came to an abrupt halt. It was as though a giant had come through and smashed a large chunk out of it; there was rubble strewn around, and it certainly hadn't been cut smoothly and evenly, but there was no mistaking it; the road ahead was missing. There were no signs warning of a detour or construction work; indeed, it was just as though this was how things naturally were.
Harry stooped down as he spied a scrap of foolscap lying in the rubble. "In trouble. Need help," it read, with no signature.
But there was no doubting the handwriting, even though it was only four words. Uncertain what sort of prank Ron was trying to pull, Harry stuffed the scrap into a pocket beneath his robes and stood up.
Just then, a miniature cerberus with great gaping bloody wounds and a lot of bloody, foamy flecks of spittle ranged around its distressingly undulating maw leapt at Harry. He yelped in surprise, hand instantly reaching for his wand.
"Accio broomstick!" he yelled, half thinking it would be awfully handy to be able to fly away just now, and half thinking he needed to come up with a better plan. A moment later, he shouted "Petrificus totallus!" and instantly sent the now-frozen beast clattering to the ground.
"Are those...bandages?" Harry wondered aloud, fingering the filthy scraps that hung off the creature that now lay in front of him as he crouched to examine the creature. "I guess I'd be angry, too. Looks like this dog has definitely seen better days."
Harry heard footsteps behind him and a sharp intake of breath. He whirled around, heart pounding loudly as he faced a suspiciously corporeal Myrtle who now stood in front of him.
"You're standing," was in fact all the wit Harry could muster to greet her.
"You don't look very happy to see me," Myrtle responded, pulling a pout and batting her eyelashes at Harry sadly. "And of course I'm standing, what else would I do, float?"
This gave Harry pause, as in fact that had been exactly what he'd been expecting. "It's dangerous to be out here alone. I nearly got mauled by that...thing," he said, by way of further introduction, as he nodded toward the newly collapsed beast at his feet.
"Are you suggesting we team up?" Myrtle flashed a brilliant grin at Harry and sidled up to him, grabbing his arm possessively and feeling strangely warm and alive.
"For the time being, I believe that's the safest idea," Harry swallowed down his apprehension and clasped Myrtle's hand firmly in reassurance. After all, what could it hurt? He was quite sure this was all a dream, after all. It had to be. No place on earth was like this, except perhaps in someone's overactive imagination.
******
Meanwhile, back in Hogwarts, Filch smiled a nasty smile to himself as he gathered up the small ceramic pot from the stall in which it had been sitting. Mrs. Norris twined herself about his ankles happily, purring. "Now how did this get out of the contraband closet?" Filch wondered aloud, perhaps a bit too smugly. "It's an awfully dangerous thing to leave lying about. I'd better lock it up. Safety first and all that."
~~~FIN~~~
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Didn't want to give away what I was doing before you read this, so I'll note here this is a crossover with the Silent Hill universe. That is, if you hadn't already caught that part. Some of you will, some of you won't. I can say if you've read down this far and you're unfamiliar with Silent Hill, I haven't spoiled you at all for the games or the movie. Just in case you're concerned.
DISCLAIMER: HP + co belong to RoRo, Bloomsbury, Scholastic, Raincoast, and a lot of people who aren't me. Silent Hill belongs to Team Silent and KCET. No infringement is intended and no money is being made.