Final Disconnection
And with that last entry, this 6-month experiment comes to a close... And I'm not cutting this entry like I did for all the others, because I want you to read it.
Here are the things I learned from doing this:
The first is that I can write decent essays - or at least coherent blocks of text that can pass for essays by the admittedly loose standards I use - consistently under self-imposed deadlines. (I've never missed a Thursday in six months.)
The second is that there is a life outside of the internet and it's more enjoyable to me than being chained to a desk, with my eyes glued to a screen all day long without it being a job requirement. It's still a bit rarer than I'd like to have another person with me when I do these things, but I am going to at least pretend I'm optimistic that this will eventually change... Maybe once all the "Ooooh SHINY!!!!" wears off of Google+ I'll find someone who's not afraid of some fresh air.
Third, I learned I can put the computer "down" and go outside for a while. And the people I "know" will still be online when I get back. I know it's a stereotypical chastisement of computer geeks and other internet addicts that they never set foot outside even on nice days, and I am almost ashamed of how long I've actually adhered to that.
Fourth, I learned coming up with so many different things to do (and then write about) is hard! Especially when you're naturally a creature of habit who likes discretion and prefers to keep things mostly private. I also know it's rude to chew people's ears off about things that are only marginally interesting to them at best. (Doesn't stop me from doing it, but it does make me think twice.)
Fifth, posting everything publicly (as I've done) does give a sense of accountability to keep me on task, but it's also a level of (theoretical) exposure that's a bit unsettling. I certainly want to make sure I come across as the type of person I feel I am, and I think I've managed to do it.
Sixth, I learned that I don't have to completely hide "me" from everyone, because most people aren't out to spread hate in the world, despite the unfortunately extreme loudness of the few that do. I've just as much right to exist and be seen and heard as anyone else, and dammit, I'm actually a pretty neat (if not exactly flashy) person and I do have interesting things to say that are about me.
And that's the final thing. I'm not going to go all cliché and say I started doing this to "find myself". I didn't. I was already here. But I wanted to prove to myself that I have things going on in my life, which were various degrees of interesting - at the very least to me - and open myself up to the possibility that other people might be interested, too. Some of these things happened randomly. Some of them I made happen. Some things took a lot of planning, while others were impulse decisions dictated by unforseen circumstance or sudden inspiration. And not everything went well or according to plan. And not everything that happened got written about here. But my goodness, there was something real that I did every week and posted to share with anyone who cared to read it.
And that's life. Stuff happens. Bad stuff and good stuff and in-between stuff and boring stuff and exciting stuff and... well, you get the idea.
And now I have a record (OMG written proof!) of my the ability to go and have a life. Even if it's not all champagne and caviar and fancy parties. Even when I'm AFK. Even when I'm broke (though I have to imagine this NOT being true would give me more options) ...and there's nothing to keep me from doing more things if I just get up and do something.
...for today, or tomorrow or next week...
...or for Thursday. Though I never did quite get the hang of Thursdays... ;-)
So what's next for this 'blog? I haven't decided yet, but I'll let you know when I do. I'm thinking September, but who knows?
Just watch this space.
-J
This entry was originally posted at http://something-for-thursday.dreamwidth.org/6327.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
Here are the things I learned from doing this:
The first is that I can write decent essays - or at least coherent blocks of text that can pass for essays by the admittedly loose standards I use - consistently under self-imposed deadlines. (I've never missed a Thursday in six months.)
The second is that there is a life outside of the internet and it's more enjoyable to me than being chained to a desk, with my eyes glued to a screen all day long without it being a job requirement. It's still a bit rarer than I'd like to have another person with me when I do these things, but I am going to at least pretend I'm optimistic that this will eventually change... Maybe once all the "Ooooh SHINY!!!!" wears off of Google+ I'll find someone who's not afraid of some fresh air.
Third, I learned I can put the computer "down" and go outside for a while. And the people I "know" will still be online when I get back. I know it's a stereotypical chastisement of computer geeks and other internet addicts that they never set foot outside even on nice days, and I am almost ashamed of how long I've actually adhered to that.
Fourth, I learned coming up with so many different things to do (and then write about) is hard! Especially when you're naturally a creature of habit who likes discretion and prefers to keep things mostly private. I also know it's rude to chew people's ears off about things that are only marginally interesting to them at best. (Doesn't stop me from doing it, but it does make me think twice.)
Fifth, posting everything publicly (as I've done) does give a sense of accountability to keep me on task, but it's also a level of (theoretical) exposure that's a bit unsettling. I certainly want to make sure I come across as the type of person I feel I am, and I think I've managed to do it.
Sixth, I learned that I don't have to completely hide "me" from everyone, because most people aren't out to spread hate in the world, despite the unfortunately extreme loudness of the few that do. I've just as much right to exist and be seen and heard as anyone else, and dammit, I'm actually a pretty neat (if not exactly flashy) person and I do have interesting things to say that are about me.
And that's the final thing. I'm not going to go all cliché and say I started doing this to "find myself". I didn't. I was already here. But I wanted to prove to myself that I have things going on in my life, which were various degrees of interesting - at the very least to me - and open myself up to the possibility that other people might be interested, too. Some of these things happened randomly. Some of them I made happen. Some things took a lot of planning, while others were impulse decisions dictated by unforseen circumstance or sudden inspiration. And not everything went well or according to plan. And not everything that happened got written about here. But my goodness, there was something real that I did every week and posted to share with anyone who cared to read it.
And that's life. Stuff happens. Bad stuff and good stuff and in-between stuff and boring stuff and exciting stuff and... well, you get the idea.
And now I have a record (OMG written proof!) of my the ability to go and have a life. Even if it's not all champagne and caviar and fancy parties. Even when I'm AFK. Even when I'm broke (though I have to imagine this NOT being true would give me more options) ...and there's nothing to keep me from doing more things if I just get up and do something.
...for today, or tomorrow or next week...
...or for Thursday. Though I never did quite get the hang of Thursdays... ;-)
So what's next for this 'blog? I haven't decided yet, but I'll let you know when I do. I'm thinking September, but who knows?
Just watch this space.
-J
This entry was originally posted at http://something-for-thursday.dreamwidth.org/6327.html. Please comment there using OpenID.