oh god...i'm sooooo teenage angst right now...
well, the weekend is going to be rough. i really hate parties. and church. i had to go to both today.
i hate getting all dolled up and then end up feeling like shit anyway.
do i even want to get into it all right here? i don't know.
and NOW my aunt is telling me to go to sleep because she doesn't want me to be tired at tomorrow's party. when is she going to get it in her head that i wanted to leave NOT because i was sleepy...but because I WASN'T HAVING A GOOD TIME. and oh, boy, supposely i'm going to have fun at this other party because there are kids my age there. listen i'm not ten years old anymore. just because there's other kids there doesn't mean i'm going to want to go. besides, even when i was ten i didn't really care that there were other ten years olds there. we're going to spend more time IN THE CAR than at the party at this point. i'm probably going to try to get out of this hardcore tomorrow morning.
my mom and my aunt decided that we should hand out fliers about christine at the party we were at tonight and i was like ohkay, sure i'll help...because you know, it might help. actually they thought we were going to be able to make an announcement so i had to come up with a quick speech. thankfully, i didn't have to speak. anyway...it just really irks me that i come up to this table of "kids my age" and i start to hand them the flyer and tell them what it's about and one of the kids conveniently gets on his cell phone, the other is playing with his girlfriend and the other one just looks at me and says no. OH WELL. when are people going to realize that this is important? i mean, ohkay, right now, it's especially important to ME because it's my cousin...but honestly, even if it wasn't my cousin I would put myself on the registry. the registering is easy- all you have to do now is swab the inside of your mouth. and geez, it's real luck if you do get called upon as a match for someone. i mean, that's just incredible. to get that chance, is practically one in a million. that's special. so you lost maybe one morning to the collection of bone marrow (which can be done two ways now BTW: the old anesthesia and collection through the hip bone method and the new hooked up to a machine that gathers your stem cells from your blood and returns the rest to your system- sort of like donating platelets)...the three or four hours that you give up could mean three, four maybe ten years to another person, who's probably got the same dreams, the same desires as you...
to watch this "kid" bless his grandmother on his way out and make nice with everyone and laugh with his friends just made me so angry! it's not fair that he gets to live a life and spend time with his family and he'll probably get married and have kids and christine won't get this chance.
but i guess that's just something i'm going to have to accept. it's so hard for me to swallow because it's just so simple. i mean, you think all it takes is education. i'm going to face this my entire life...since i chose a health profession. but i'm going to promise myself that no matter what, i'll be happy that i at least tried.
anyway, the secondary part of my grievance is that i was embarrassed i guess. and i hated that i felt embarrassed because of them. who are they for me to be embarrassed? they probably made fun of me afterwards. whatever, i shouldn't be so tender.
what else? well, i ate all the wrong foods at the party. this really isn't helping. actually i almost vomited when i thought about what i ate (and it's not because i ate duck fetus...i ate normal food...).
guys, there's a few things i want to do this summer and i've decided that i'm going to do them whether or not i have someone to do them with (like when i got lost in central park!):
rent a boat and row around the lake at central park
drink and karaoke at iBop
go to the bronx zoo (they just released african wild dogs!!!)
well...there's supposed to be more but i can't think of any more right now.
i guess i'm going to get out of this dress and take off these pearls...goodnight livejournal.
i hate getting all dolled up and then end up feeling like shit anyway.
do i even want to get into it all right here? i don't know.
and NOW my aunt is telling me to go to sleep because she doesn't want me to be tired at tomorrow's party. when is she going to get it in her head that i wanted to leave NOT because i was sleepy...but because I WASN'T HAVING A GOOD TIME. and oh, boy, supposely i'm going to have fun at this other party because there are kids my age there. listen i'm not ten years old anymore. just because there's other kids there doesn't mean i'm going to want to go. besides, even when i was ten i didn't really care that there were other ten years olds there. we're going to spend more time IN THE CAR than at the party at this point. i'm probably going to try to get out of this hardcore tomorrow morning.
my mom and my aunt decided that we should hand out fliers about christine at the party we were at tonight and i was like ohkay, sure i'll help...because you know, it might help. actually they thought we were going to be able to make an announcement so i had to come up with a quick speech. thankfully, i didn't have to speak. anyway...it just really irks me that i come up to this table of "kids my age" and i start to hand them the flyer and tell them what it's about and one of the kids conveniently gets on his cell phone, the other is playing with his girlfriend and the other one just looks at me and says no. OH WELL. when are people going to realize that this is important? i mean, ohkay, right now, it's especially important to ME because it's my cousin...but honestly, even if it wasn't my cousin I would put myself on the registry. the registering is easy- all you have to do now is swab the inside of your mouth. and geez, it's real luck if you do get called upon as a match for someone. i mean, that's just incredible. to get that chance, is practically one in a million. that's special. so you lost maybe one morning to the collection of bone marrow (which can be done two ways now BTW: the old anesthesia and collection through the hip bone method and the new hooked up to a machine that gathers your stem cells from your blood and returns the rest to your system- sort of like donating platelets)...the three or four hours that you give up could mean three, four maybe ten years to another person, who's probably got the same dreams, the same desires as you...
to watch this "kid" bless his grandmother on his way out and make nice with everyone and laugh with his friends just made me so angry! it's not fair that he gets to live a life and spend time with his family and he'll probably get married and have kids and christine won't get this chance.
but i guess that's just something i'm going to have to accept. it's so hard for me to swallow because it's just so simple. i mean, you think all it takes is education. i'm going to face this my entire life...since i chose a health profession. but i'm going to promise myself that no matter what, i'll be happy that i at least tried.
anyway, the secondary part of my grievance is that i was embarrassed i guess. and i hated that i felt embarrassed because of them. who are they for me to be embarrassed? they probably made fun of me afterwards. whatever, i shouldn't be so tender.
what else? well, i ate all the wrong foods at the party. this really isn't helping. actually i almost vomited when i thought about what i ate (and it's not because i ate duck fetus...i ate normal food...).
guys, there's a few things i want to do this summer and i've decided that i'm going to do them whether or not i have someone to do them with (like when i got lost in central park!):
rent a boat and row around the lake at central park
drink and karaoke at iBop
go to the bronx zoo (they just released african wild dogs!!!)
well...there's supposed to be more but i can't think of any more right now.
i guess i'm going to get out of this dress and take off these pearls...goodnight livejournal.