Fic, Lost: The Ben Linus Trial, part 1/3(?) (ensemble), PG13, crack

[janie_tangerine]

So, this is my crack epic fic. And since it grew beyond my predictions and I don't know still how long it's going to get, I decided to go ahead and post the first part. I think/hope it'll take another two parts to finish it, if it doesn't spread again.

Title: The Ben Linus Trial 1/?
Characters: All the survivors, the freighters, Ben and for now a

Comments

[janie_tangerine]

LOL beh è crack, l'OC è implicato ;)

[janie_tangerine]

Uh sìsì era splendida *g* figurati, questa poi penso non abbia una singola frase seria, non c'è fretta ;)

[sapphire_child]

“You do not want him judged by the Iraqui law system, Jack.”

“I wanted to sue him, too, once, but you know. Never got around to it.”

Craphole People versus Benjamin Linus.

LMFAO. I can't wait to read more of this! This is brilliant! Great characterisation of everyone - even though it's crack-ish. Can't wait to see which characters come back from the dead to testify against him =P

[janie_tangerine]

Thank you! Well before the actual trial I'll have Atticus giving Sawyer the lawyering tips and some other general fussling, but the guy in your icon is definitely going to testify, you can bet on it ;) thank you so much again, it's great you like this insanity!

[sapphire_child]

the guy in your icon is definitely going to testify, you can bet on it ;)

*punches air triumphantly*

Oh man I cannot WAIT for more! This is just too fabulous for words!

Oh don't worry, I love insanity! And this is definitely my kind of crazy ;P

[elliotsmelliot]

This is the crackiess crack that ever cracked.

My favourite part was Sawyer as the default lawyer and everyone chiming in on the list of charges. (Perhaps they will have to show some Swan tapes to prove the voyeurism charges! I'll volunteer to study the tapes from the shower cam.) Plus gung ho Jack hanging out of the copter and Frank volunteering to be the judge was excellent. Oh, and the parley moment passing because they did indeed come from a ship! The prosecution should know better. If Ben is going along with this so calmly, he has an ace up his sleeve. Though I don't know how he could top the appearance of Mr. Atticus Finch! How could the Losties lose?

This is awesome! Plus your timing couldn't be better. I'm on my way to a roundtable on legal history. Dare me to ask about historic precedents for charges of mindfuckery?

[janie_tangerine]

LOL I'd much like to know some precedents of mindfuckery! It'd be plain awesome to know ;)

Definitely glad you're enjoying this! I love your definition. And those tapes... hhhhhmmmm, they could make an appearance as evidence, though studying them would sure be a lovely past time. I'm definitely accepting your application, though I think I'll keep you company. You know, those are activities that are much fun when done with other people.... ;)

Ben definitely has an ace up on his sleeve.. one that is going to cause even more confusion methinks, but Atticus is going to give Sawyer some very good advice. And I hoped the parley logic worked, though Jack Sparrow is thankfully not showing up. For when you're back I'll try to have up at least part #2!

[elliotsmelliot]

I forgot to say that I love Jack claiming he was only "tentatively" brainwashed by Ben. Uh huh, Jack, yeah, you won that round. And Sayid's comment about Iraqi law. Also your disclaimer was the best.

Yes, the tapes should be watched in pairs, just like in the good ol' days of Dharma. That way we could do a commentary of sorts and take turns fanning each other.

[janie_tangerine]

Go Jack on that! ;) the only one who resisted until now.. he's got something there for sure. And I admit having Ben judged by the Iraqui law would have been an interesting twist, but the results would have probably been too nasty.

Oh, I'd so love such a revival. It sounds like the best plan ever!

[mrslinus17]

Haha. Very good.

[janie_tangerine]

Thank you! Glad it was funny XD

[falafel_fiction]

Woot! Elliots reference to this fic reminded me to read it. I'm so glad you've another chapter coming out soon because I'm looking forward to it already. This is an awesome idea for a crackfic! I love that Sawyer has been given the job of representing the Lostees, so he's forced to use his intelligence.

My favourite bits so far -

“Dan, it’s 31 minutes. Not years. Chill out. I mean, I saw a cow.”

“You do not want him judged by the Iraqi law system, Jack.”

Sawyer filled the sheet with Craphole People versus Benjamin Linus.

I loved all the charges they racked up and I'm looking forward to Charlie's appearence - I think he gets to sue for murder by drowning, attempted murder by hanging, unlawful imprisonment, kidnapping and the usual mindfucking. Gee, how is Ben gonna talk his way out of this one? He makes Kate's crime list seem just mildly naughty.

[janie_tangerine]

LOL I'm posting it in a half hour probably... I'm editing right now ;)

Thank you so much! Heee, glad you liked the concept! It's all elliotsmelliot's fault but I can't say I'm complaining, I'm having too much of a good time with this!

Sawyer now needs to use his brains. And he most surely will *evil laugh* and he's the one that sweet talks best there anyway.

Charlie is probably showing up in part #3 or #4, #2 got way out of hand, but he's definitely showing up as soon as the trial begins. Ben is a criminal mastermind indeed! One can understand why Kate is on parole... thanks again, glad you liked it so far! ;)