A little late to the party, but...
I really needed to do an OotP review, because I'm kind of horrified and bewildered by the number of people who think it was OMG TEH BEST THING EVAR, where usually there seem to be a goodly number of people on both ends of the spectrum where movie canon, or even proper canon, is concerned. Other than, you know, my little kinks or off-the-wall pairings, I'm not used to being in such a tiny minority in fandom. It's a strange feeling.
So here's the minority opinion.
Well, my extremely verbose version, anyway. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
The Good
Let me first say (since I'm afraid this might not be clear once I get a good head of steam) that I didn't think the entire thing was rubbish. BY AND LARGE evil and sucky, yes, but it definitely had redeeming qualities. Enough of them that I was willing to overlook the near-physical pain that the bad bits caused... up until the Veil. In fact, I was debating whether it might make #2 in my favorites list. I had a few moments where I thought it might even make #1.
I did not expect a lot from this movie. "Longest book, shortest film" doesn't exactly bode well, you know? So I went in with very low expectations, in true cynic form, and I was actually pleasantly surprised by it.
The Dursleys. All of them, absolutely hysterical. Petunia in her little sun-suit, Vernon hanging out in the freezer, and Dudley. Oh my god, Dudley. His outfit weirded me out, but Harry Melling did so well with what they gave him - and I was so pleased with what they gave him. He was far more a thug than a spoilt brat, and correspondingly I found it easier to believe that someone over the age of three might feel threatened by him.
The Dementors. Apparently someone in CGI said, "Hey, PoA really did rip off the Nazgul. We'd better fix that!" Okay, they weren't cloaked or mysterious... or really, anything like in the books. So I should be bitching, because they looked a bit like mummies, actually. But they were nonetheless creepier, so I liked 'em.
First sight of the Order. It was weird not having Moony there. I was disappointed in Shacklebolt. But I was absolutely thrilled at how wizardy (and witchy) they all looked. Robes and robelike things! Yay! Of course this set me up for disappointment. But I digress. The flyover of London was brilliant also, and though I'd like to've seen some stuntly maneuvers from Harry, one can't have everything. It reminded me very powerfully of something I tend to forget, which is that the Muggle world around them is quite modern. That's silly of me, I know, but I had the same reaction both times I saw it. I get very lost in the eclectic-Victorianness of wizards.
Ron. Fanon!Ron tends to drive me batty, despite my mad love for Canon!Ron, and Movie!Ron tends to stray towards the former more than the latter. Through no fault of Rupert Grint and I want to love him and squeeze him and keep him for my very own - they don't often give him much to work with. He still got his lines hacked and slashed and parceled out to other people, but he had some beautiful moments with Harry, and more with Hermione, and he made me squee and laugh and really, what more can you ask for?
All things Umbridge. The giggle. The hem-hem. The OUTFITS. But most particularly her office. PINK-WASHED STONE WALLS OMG. I think they made a mistake prettying her up so much - Imelda Staunton can look a real hag when she wants to - but other than that, she was spot-on. She just oozed that saccharine-sweetness... and the malice too. Also, every single moment she had with Snape made me want to die laughing. (Okay, that's more an Alan Rickman thing. But still.) And her using Harry as a shield, and him throwing that "I must not tell lies" back at her...! (I know, I know, everybody loved that line.)
The Daily Prophet. I'm sure I will not be the only one who pauses the DVD repeatedly to read all those articles.
Filch. He was used to perfection here, played for comic relief in a story with little of it naturally occurring. The sandwich! The chocolates! The ladders!
Luna. She was brilliant, as expected. The first picture I saw of Evanna Lynch, way back when she was first cast, made me cringe - not in a "she's ugly" way, just a "she's not Luna" way - but she was absolutely perfect, and made me smile at her every time she came onscreen. I am absolutely sick about the fact that they will probably cut out Quidditch in HBP also, and thus we will not get to hear her commentating :(
Neville. He was just lovely. He looked like a goober, but he was still that strong Neville coming into his own that I wanted to see. (I took notes on my second viewing. I have "♥ Neville" on there four times.)
Helena Bonham Carter. (You will note I did not say Bellatrix, for reasons explained below.) She acted the hell out of her almost-total lack of lines. Spot on. Absolutely insane, absolutely delicious, and okay, I admit it: matted hair or no, she looked hot in that corset.
Floo-calling. Yay! No more pizza-face Sirius! This was WAY better than the last film, much more as I pictured it from the books.
Harry and Sirius. Even when my brain was going "AUGH NOT CANON!" I loved possibly every second they were onscreen together. Gary Oldman doesn't play Sirius as... damaged, I suppose, as I see him in the books, but it works beautifully nonetheless, and I was so happy for Harry to have him. He was very endearing, and I... I can't express it, really. He was lovely and my heart started hurting for his death at the scene in the tapestry room.
The Voldemort Connection. I was very impressed with the way Harry described Voldemort hanging out in his head and influencing his actions. Though it doesn't exactly fit with how I understand/perceive canon, it sets up the next movie and Harry's sudden lack of capslocky temper and equally sudden maturity quite nicely, in a kind of "I've been this way all along, and it was only Voldie's influence that made it seem otherwise" sort of way. It was neat and tidy like so few things in the movies, and I found that very gratifying.
The Twins. I adore the twins anyway. I am biased, I freely admit my amazing redhead fetish and my deep and abiding love for George and my horrible fear that Fred will be the token dead Weasley... later today. But I was all squeeful about the fact that they showed aspects of unidenticalness! and independent thought! As (yay obsessive and overanalytical tendencies!) I perceive in canon.
Also they were really sweet to that poor Hufflepuff.
Their fireworks - with the exception of the one that chased Draco and made an imprint of his face, and the giant W, and of course the big flaming dragon - were not as cool and varied as I expected. Muggle ones have more shapes, even. There was no "give her hell from us, Peeves." But they were lovely all the same... and Flitwick's reaction was priceless.
The Dealbreaker
But then there was the DOM.
I hated Hermione Sue and the Prisoner of A. Cuarón (alternate title courtesy Trystym & Delylah) with the fiery burning passion of a thousand suns. This was partially my own fault, for reading several of Cuaron's self-congratulatory interviews in which he generally managed to imply that he'd taken that rubbishy book everyone was raving about and turned it into a masterpiece, but mostly it was just the movie itself. There was so much missing, and yet we had time for extended transitional scenes about weather and a wanky nod to Y tu mamá también. I hated the frog choir and the RPG-esque werewolf and the Lupin-loves-Lily and the... but I digress, and you get the idea. I was seething throughout the entire movie. But I have NEVER been so incensed as I was the moment Bellatrix said "Avada Kedavra."
(I actually said out loud "Oh no you DIDN'T," causing several people to turn and look at me like I was an idiot.)
But Jane, you say. Death poems are mere delusion; death is death. What's the big?
amanuensis1 agrees with you. And on the surface, I see that. They didn't want to, or have time to, explain the Veil, so they used the Killing Curse to make it perfectly clear. So what?
Well, it's the implications that bug me.
Sirius' death in canon is a tragic accident. He's playing around, having fun, duelling Bella like I imagine he did when they were young. (Okay, the Black Family Tree makes that unlikely, but it was also said that Bella hung out with Snape at school, so I reserve the right to imagine this.) He gets hit by a stunning spell - a stupid little spell that should have done nothing beyond taking him out of the fight - and he dies anyway. That death has all sorts of lessons about underestimating your enemy and situational awareness and the true suddenness of death, way beyond Avada Kedavra. It's most upsetting because it's NOT a murder. Oh sure, they're fighting, but not for their lives. It's just an accident.
Additionally, that scene, for me, was what made Bella human. I'm not all about "deep down she's really good and can be redeemed" or anything, but the dynamic between her and Sirius gave her a shred of humanity - maybe she's nostalgic, maybe she really can't bring herself to kill her own family, however you choose to read it, she's still got an emotion beyond hate going on. And call me crazy, but I like her being human. I like my villains to be people, three-dimensional people, instead of comic-book constructs to foil the heroes.
But now she's been reduced to purely evil and purely insane, and despite Helena Bonham Carter's excellent performance, I found myself not giving a rat's arse. She's been set back to two-dimensional, and I expect that the Spinner's End scene will be trimmed enough in the next film that any other hints of fondness or family feeling will be gone as well.
The Bad
It didn't help that it was near the end of the film, so I didn't have time to lose myself again and recover the enjoyment factor. Sirius' death, therefore, was kind of like the straw that broke the camel's back... only it was more like, there were a bunch of straws piling up, easy enough to ignore, and allasudden there was this GREAT HONKING ANVIL that broke the camel's back.
So here are the straws.
Dudley's Outfit. I was actually shocked to see him dressed like this. I've seen him cosplayed in similar outfits, and I laugh every time, because I can't picture him like that at all. It strikes me as American, first of all... not that I know from British thugs, though, so that may be way off-base. But more importantly... well, where I am, at least, it is a very stereotypically inner-city-black-kid thing to wear. Girls giggle behind their hands at the suburban white boys who try that look. And it doesn't seem like something Vernon Dursley would ignore.
But Jane, you say, even if all that's true... Petunia and Vernon think everything Dudley does is wonderful and perfect!
Yeah... that's a valid point. But I guess Vernon strikes me as a proponent of pretty much every ISM you could think of. You know, racism, sexism, ageism, classism...? And Dudley must've gotten some of that. The Dursleys are all about keep-up-with-the-Joneses... dressing like lower-class riffraff doesn't really fit in with that image. I'd've expected some sort of neo-Nazi garb before a Nike jersey and bling.
Mrs. Figg.
But Jane! you interrupt. She just had a bit part, you're being so picky!
I understand that, in the scheme of things, Mrs. Figg is not a Character of Great Importance. But the casting of the three major new characters (Umbridge, Luna and Bellatrix, the latter of whom Figgy had... what, five times as many lines as?) was so spot-on that this was really something of a letdown. I know she didn't have a lot to do, but she could have been so much better. Dottier. Battier. Where was her string bag full of cat food cans? Her carpet slippers? Her hairnet? I had such a strong picture of her in my head - rare, I think, with JKR's tendency to avoid describing clothing and features - that I really expected her to BE someone. Instead, she was just a random old lady in a clear rain slicker, with no particular emotion going on and no aura of being a bit off. (With the possible exception of the... what was that thing she was pulling, btw? A fertilizer spreader?) Just anybody's perfectly normal great-aunt. I did not feel her at all.
Kingsley Shacklebolt. Raise your hand if you read about him and pictured someone like Samuel L. Jackson. Yeah, me too. Instead I got a soft-looking man (though I loved his outfit!) with vaguely protruberant eyes. I do not look at him and think "powerful Auror," I'm sorry.
Costuming In General. I was distressed at the increasing Mugglefication of the outfits. I understand why Muggle-style uniforms were introduced in the first movie... a sea of black robes would be both difficult and uninteresting to film. Fine. But... let's make a vague attempt to get real here. Mrs. Weasley in a perfectly ordinary, if somewhat unattractive, dress. Percy, looking entirely too awkward in a pinstriped jacket and brown tie (apparently the only one he owns). And Voldemort? In a suit? I don't care how amazingly expensive it was, it's still a suit. Did the costuming director miss the part where dear Tom hates Muggles and everything about them? Was that too subtly done? DOES IT NEED TO BE BEATEN INTO HER HEAD WITH A TROLL HAMMER?
Ahem. Where was I? Oh yes. While we're at it, how about:
Haircuts. Okay, I think maybe the GoF 70s hair was a bit much for most of the boys. (I laugh every time I see that icon that says something along the lines of "Harry, Farrah Fawcett called, she wants her hair back.") But this was just horrifying. Can we find a happy medium for HBP, please? I'm begging here. Especially for Neville, who was tortured sufficiently by the abovementioned costume department without being made to look like a little old man with a bad hairpiece, okay?
But Wormtail's mullet? AHAHAHA.
Spells. Let's talk Apparation. So... neutral folk like the twins just appear suddenly. Folk on the side of Light appear with an accompanying white mist. Death Eaters? Black mist.
Ooh, I know! I propose that every witch or wizard must be subjected to an Apparation test! Those with black mist get locked in Azkaban!
Ahem. Okay, maybe that wasn't supposed to be Apparation. In any case, it was silly.
Stupefy. Apparently, instead of knocking you out, this now tosses you back in a manner strikingly similar to a powerful Expelliarmus. Except without the useful disarming bit. And yet it is one of the most useful spells in your arsenal, according to Harry. Raise your hand if you're confused.
Also, Avada Maxima? I get that "Avada" maybe translates to "destroy," but we couldn't have blown up the wall with, I don't know, REDUCTO Maxima, just so it wouldn't sound so Unforgivable-Curse-y? Or was that the point, because if it was, it wasn't terribly clear.
Kreacher. I knew, when this was being spread about, that it wasn't really a leak as it claims, but a fan-created Kreacher. Still, I think part of me hoped that Warner Brothers or whoever would find that fan and put him to work, because it was brilliantly done. Even so, my mental image is more like the Mary GrandPre illustration, and Kreacher was nothing like that, either. He looked more like Homunculus!Voldemort, only with a pointy nose and ears.
Michael Gambon. Okay, was I the only one who thought he was channeling William Shatner at the hearing? "Witness for the defense, Albus Percival... Wulfric... Brian... Dumbledore." I know there are people who adore him and think Richard Harris was too soft and old to play Dumbledore, but come on. No matter how you read Dumbledore - evil, manipulative, candidate for sainthood, gross incompetent, whatever - you've got to admit that he, at least occasionally, shows some (false, perhaps, if that's your reading) modesty. Gambon has none. He is the most important person in every scene and by God he will make sure you know it too.
Lucky for him, the screenplay supports this opinion. Unlucky for me.
The Kiss. All right, I admit it. I hate Cho. Her only redeeming quality in canon is that her existence allows Hermione to Slytherinly handle Harry while we all watch and laugh. So I may be predisposed to dislike anything involving her. However.
The kiss was, I think we can all agree, a lovely Hollywood number that nobody would ever ever ever have for their first kiss. Fine; it's a movie, I accept that. Would it have killed them to give Cho a single sparkling tear or something, though? Because the entire scene that followed made no sense in context with the Hollywood Kiss of Perfection.
This, I felt, was the winner of the "Did you actually READ the book?" Award for the Yates/Goldenberg team. Harry describes the kiss, both in the book and in the movie, as "wet." In the book, it's wet because - wait for it - Cho is crying. Yes, ladies and gentlemen! It naturally follows, then, that Hermione explains Cho's multitude of confused feelings, and Ron is bewildered, and Hermione gets to say that he has the emotional range of a teaspoon. But let's look at the movie:
HARRY: We had a beautiful kiss that looked good onscreen, and thus involved no spit. It was wet.
HERMIONE: Well, first kisses can be wet, Harry, but don't worry, you'll get the hang of not drooling eventually. And... er... Cho will manage less sloppy kisses when she's... not distracted by her tumultuous feelings about Cedric?
Does this make sense to anyone? Anyone? Let's see a show of hands.
*crickets chirp*
Not that I wasn't glad to hear the teaspoon line. I love that line, and so does everyone else in fandom if I had to guess by the number of references to it in fic. But the means of getting there DIDN'T. MAKE. SENSE.
But Jane, you say, Harry said she was crying!
True. I didn't catch that, first time around. So... I'm to believe that amazing first snog went on yet longer, during which she started to cry? Ouch. Poor Harry.
Ginny. I admit it: I wanted to see the Bat-Bogey Hex. But more importantly, I wanted to see some of that fire we got in the book. She may have still been pining after Harry in her heart, but she made a damn fine effort at Getting A Life, and she's been stripped of that here. I didn't need the subplot with the boyfriend, or whatever, but those longing looks, and glares at Cho, were a poor substitute for her real connections with Harry: the being-possessed thing, and the Easter-eggs thing. They relegated her to Awestruck Little Girl again.
But Jane! you cry. Harry was sooooooo totally impressed with her mad Reducto skillz!
Stretching it. Reheheheally.
Between the Harry/Hermioneness of... every single line Steve Kloves ever wrote, and the Harry/Luna scene at the end of this film, I have a feeling that the "I never saw H/G coming!" brouhaha is going to be even stronger amongst the moviegoing crowd than it was in fandom when HBP came out.
Occlumency. On one hand, I cheered, because the movie makes it entirely Snape Being An Arse that ends the Occlumency - Harry only sees that memory because he was protecting himself. On the other hand... OotP is all about the consequences of bad choices. While I do suspect that Snape deliberately left that Pensieve lying about to tempt Harry into looking in it, that was still Harry's bad choice and he has to live with all the What Ifs. Removing that cheapened the whole thing. (The lack of reaction to James being a git was also problematic, but I realized in HBP, even if Harry didn't, that it was Snape's own spell that was being used against him and thus he probably did deserve it, so I'm not too fussed.)
The Black Family Tree. Soooo... Andromeda was there. Uncle Alphard was there. But not Cissy. And not Regulus, which means... either the whole of fandom is wrong about RAB, or Sirius is going to have a random magically-appearing brother in the next film. Whoopsie.
The Department of Mysteries. The Hall of Prophecies was way cooler than we had any right to expect from a zillion shelves of glass balls. And Bella and Neville had a lovely moment. Unfortunately, it was all downhill from there.
The Death Room scene was like a slap across the face. I understand they were pressed for time, but the sudden and total capture of all five of them really cheapened the battle. Those kids got picked off one by one, and they went down fighting, not with the sudden appearance of wands at their chins. They were better than that. If they'd known - or used - some more-damaging or less-easily-reversible spells, they might not've been in bad shape. The decision to make them look like useless children, while probably more likely to reflect the level of skill of minions an effective Dark Lord would choose for the job, was just appalling.
And then we escape to the Atrium, and there was the Voldie/Dumbles battle (which started out looking oddly like the Priori Incantatem effect in the last film)... and then Harry was possessed.
I liked the extended possession. I thought Harry's eyes ought have been red rather than green, but otherwise... well, all right, Harry's lines were cheesey, but they had to be done.
My problem was that Dumbledore gets the credit. In the book, it's a fleeting thing. Harry has given up. He thinks about Sirius, and it's that love that sends Voldemort out of his head. There is no Dumbledore giving advice about how his differences from Voldemort are what's important. It's all Harry. He gives up, but he triumphs anyway, all on his own. But in the movie, it's not a spontaneous feeling of love, but calculated thoughts prompted by Dumbledore that win the day.
And thus it ends, leaving me with the bitterest of bitter tastes in my mouth.
But Jane, you point out, your "Good" list is just as long as your "Bad" list!
Yes. Yes it is. And I could have added more to both of them (the mind boggles, doesn't it?), but even if I put in every single thing in my notes, the "Bad" list wouldn't be the longer.
So what the bloody buggering HELL is the problem, Janie?
That's why this review is so goddamn long... because I have trouble articulating it. But what it boils down to is that Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix was a book about making the wrong choices and suffering the consequences. Harry and Occlumency. Dumbledore and Harry, in so many ways. Sirius and the duel. Marietta the snitch. The Ministry Six and their varying degrees of injury. Fudge - though he doesn't really suffer until the beginning of HBP - and Voldemort's return. Lucius (and the other Death Eaters) being sent to Azkaban. Draco confronting people who've just held their own against Voldemort's top goons, and being hexed into slughood.
Umbridge seems to have suffered more than she did in canon - being subjected to an inquiry, and all - but what about the rest of them? What about the characters we care about? Identify with? Know and love (or love to hate)?
What is the theme of this movie?
I have to say, I really don't know. And that is what bothers me most.
So here's the minority opinion.
Well, my extremely verbose version, anyway. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
The Good
Let me first say (since I'm afraid this might not be clear once I get a good head of steam) that I didn't think the entire thing was rubbish. BY AND LARGE evil and sucky, yes, but it definitely had redeeming qualities. Enough of them that I was willing to overlook the near-physical pain that the bad bits caused... up until the Veil. In fact, I was debating whether it might make #2 in my favorites list. I had a few moments where I thought it might even make #1.
I did not expect a lot from this movie. "Longest book, shortest film" doesn't exactly bode well, you know? So I went in with very low expectations, in true cynic form, and I was actually pleasantly surprised by it.
The Dursleys. All of them, absolutely hysterical. Petunia in her little sun-suit, Vernon hanging out in the freezer, and Dudley. Oh my god, Dudley. His outfit weirded me out, but Harry Melling did so well with what they gave him - and I was so pleased with what they gave him. He was far more a thug than a spoilt brat, and correspondingly I found it easier to believe that someone over the age of three might feel threatened by him.
The Dementors. Apparently someone in CGI said, "Hey, PoA really did rip off the Nazgul. We'd better fix that!" Okay, they weren't cloaked or mysterious... or really, anything like in the books. So I should be bitching, because they looked a bit like mummies, actually. But they were nonetheless creepier, so I liked 'em.
First sight of the Order. It was weird not having Moony there. I was disappointed in Shacklebolt. But I was absolutely thrilled at how wizardy (and witchy) they all looked. Robes and robelike things! Yay! Of course this set me up for disappointment. But I digress. The flyover of London was brilliant also, and though I'd like to've seen some stuntly maneuvers from Harry, one can't have everything. It reminded me very powerfully of something I tend to forget, which is that the Muggle world around them is quite modern. That's silly of me, I know, but I had the same reaction both times I saw it. I get very lost in the eclectic-Victorianness of wizards.
Ron. Fanon!Ron tends to drive me batty, despite my mad love for Canon!Ron, and Movie!Ron tends to stray towards the former more than the latter. Through no fault of Rupert Grint and I want to love him and squeeze him and keep him for my very own - they don't often give him much to work with. He still got his lines hacked and slashed and parceled out to other people, but he had some beautiful moments with Harry, and more with Hermione, and he made me squee and laugh and really, what more can you ask for?
All things Umbridge. The giggle. The hem-hem. The OUTFITS. But most particularly her office. PINK-WASHED STONE WALLS OMG. I think they made a mistake prettying her up so much - Imelda Staunton can look a real hag when she wants to - but other than that, she was spot-on. She just oozed that saccharine-sweetness... and the malice too. Also, every single moment she had with Snape made me want to die laughing. (Okay, that's more an Alan Rickman thing. But still.) And her using Harry as a shield, and him throwing that "I must not tell lies" back at her...! (I know, I know, everybody loved that line.)
The Daily Prophet. I'm sure I will not be the only one who pauses the DVD repeatedly to read all those articles.
Filch. He was used to perfection here, played for comic relief in a story with little of it naturally occurring. The sandwich! The chocolates! The ladders!
Luna. She was brilliant, as expected. The first picture I saw of Evanna Lynch, way back when she was first cast, made me cringe - not in a "she's ugly" way, just a "she's not Luna" way - but she was absolutely perfect, and made me smile at her every time she came onscreen. I am absolutely sick about the fact that they will probably cut out Quidditch in HBP also, and thus we will not get to hear her commentating :(
Neville. He was just lovely. He looked like a goober, but he was still that strong Neville coming into his own that I wanted to see. (I took notes on my second viewing. I have "♥ Neville" on there four times.)
Helena Bonham Carter. (You will note I did not say Bellatrix, for reasons explained below.) She acted the hell out of her almost-total lack of lines. Spot on. Absolutely insane, absolutely delicious, and okay, I admit it: matted hair or no, she looked hot in that corset.
Floo-calling. Yay! No more pizza-face Sirius! This was WAY better than the last film, much more as I pictured it from the books.
Harry and Sirius. Even when my brain was going "AUGH NOT CANON!" I loved possibly every second they were onscreen together. Gary Oldman doesn't play Sirius as... damaged, I suppose, as I see him in the books, but it works beautifully nonetheless, and I was so happy for Harry to have him. He was very endearing, and I... I can't express it, really. He was lovely and my heart started hurting for his death at the scene in the tapestry room.
The Voldemort Connection. I was very impressed with the way Harry described Voldemort hanging out in his head and influencing his actions. Though it doesn't exactly fit with how I understand/perceive canon, it sets up the next movie and Harry's sudden lack of capslocky temper and equally sudden maturity quite nicely, in a kind of "I've been this way all along, and it was only Voldie's influence that made it seem otherwise" sort of way. It was neat and tidy like so few things in the movies, and I found that very gratifying.
The Twins. I adore the twins anyway. I am biased, I freely admit my amazing redhead fetish and my deep and abiding love for George and my horrible fear that Fred will be the token dead Weasley... later today. But I was all squeeful about the fact that they showed aspects of unidenticalness! and independent thought! As (yay obsessive and overanalytical tendencies!) I perceive in canon.
Also they were really sweet to that poor Hufflepuff.
Their fireworks - with the exception of the one that chased Draco and made an imprint of his face, and the giant W, and of course the big flaming dragon - were not as cool and varied as I expected. Muggle ones have more shapes, even. There was no "give her hell from us, Peeves." But they were lovely all the same... and Flitwick's reaction was priceless.
The Dealbreaker
But then there was the DOM.
I hated Hermione Sue and the Prisoner of A. Cuarón (alternate title courtesy Trystym & Delylah) with the fiery burning passion of a thousand suns. This was partially my own fault, for reading several of Cuaron's self-congratulatory interviews in which he generally managed to imply that he'd taken that rubbishy book everyone was raving about and turned it into a masterpiece, but mostly it was just the movie itself. There was so much missing, and yet we had time for extended transitional scenes about weather and a wanky nod to Y tu mamá también. I hated the frog choir and the RPG-esque werewolf and the Lupin-loves-Lily and the... but I digress, and you get the idea. I was seething throughout the entire movie. But I have NEVER been so incensed as I was the moment Bellatrix said "Avada Kedavra."
(I actually said out loud "Oh no you DIDN'T," causing several people to turn and look at me like I was an idiot.)
But Jane, you say. Death poems are mere delusion; death is death. What's the big?
amanuensis1 agrees with you. And on the surface, I see that. They didn't want to, or have time to, explain the Veil, so they used the Killing Curse to make it perfectly clear. So what?
Well, it's the implications that bug me.
Sirius' death in canon is a tragic accident. He's playing around, having fun, duelling Bella like I imagine he did when they were young. (Okay, the Black Family Tree makes that unlikely, but it was also said that Bella hung out with Snape at school, so I reserve the right to imagine this.) He gets hit by a stunning spell - a stupid little spell that should have done nothing beyond taking him out of the fight - and he dies anyway. That death has all sorts of lessons about underestimating your enemy and situational awareness and the true suddenness of death, way beyond Avada Kedavra. It's most upsetting because it's NOT a murder. Oh sure, they're fighting, but not for their lives. It's just an accident.
Additionally, that scene, for me, was what made Bella human. I'm not all about "deep down she's really good and can be redeemed" or anything, but the dynamic between her and Sirius gave her a shred of humanity - maybe she's nostalgic, maybe she really can't bring herself to kill her own family, however you choose to read it, she's still got an emotion beyond hate going on. And call me crazy, but I like her being human. I like my villains to be people, three-dimensional people, instead of comic-book constructs to foil the heroes.
But now she's been reduced to purely evil and purely insane, and despite Helena Bonham Carter's excellent performance, I found myself not giving a rat's arse. She's been set back to two-dimensional, and I expect that the Spinner's End scene will be trimmed enough in the next film that any other hints of fondness or family feeling will be gone as well.
The Bad
It didn't help that it was near the end of the film, so I didn't have time to lose myself again and recover the enjoyment factor. Sirius' death, therefore, was kind of like the straw that broke the camel's back... only it was more like, there were a bunch of straws piling up, easy enough to ignore, and allasudden there was this GREAT HONKING ANVIL that broke the camel's back.
So here are the straws.
Dudley's Outfit. I was actually shocked to see him dressed like this. I've seen him cosplayed in similar outfits, and I laugh every time, because I can't picture him like that at all. It strikes me as American, first of all... not that I know from British thugs, though, so that may be way off-base. But more importantly... well, where I am, at least, it is a very stereotypically inner-city-black-kid thing to wear. Girls giggle behind their hands at the suburban white boys who try that look. And it doesn't seem like something Vernon Dursley would ignore.
But Jane, you say, even if all that's true... Petunia and Vernon think everything Dudley does is wonderful and perfect!
Yeah... that's a valid point. But I guess Vernon strikes me as a proponent of pretty much every ISM you could think of. You know, racism, sexism, ageism, classism...? And Dudley must've gotten some of that. The Dursleys are all about keep-up-with-the-Joneses... dressing like lower-class riffraff doesn't really fit in with that image. I'd've expected some sort of neo-Nazi garb before a Nike jersey and bling.
Mrs. Figg.
But Jane! you interrupt. She just had a bit part, you're being so picky!
I understand that, in the scheme of things, Mrs. Figg is not a Character of Great Importance. But the casting of the three major new characters (Umbridge, Luna and Bellatrix, the latter of whom Figgy had... what, five times as many lines as?) was so spot-on that this was really something of a letdown. I know she didn't have a lot to do, but she could have been so much better. Dottier. Battier. Where was her string bag full of cat food cans? Her carpet slippers? Her hairnet? I had such a strong picture of her in my head - rare, I think, with JKR's tendency to avoid describing clothing and features - that I really expected her to BE someone. Instead, she was just a random old lady in a clear rain slicker, with no particular emotion going on and no aura of being a bit off. (With the possible exception of the... what was that thing she was pulling, btw? A fertilizer spreader?) Just anybody's perfectly normal great-aunt. I did not feel her at all.
Kingsley Shacklebolt. Raise your hand if you read about him and pictured someone like Samuel L. Jackson. Yeah, me too. Instead I got a soft-looking man (though I loved his outfit!) with vaguely protruberant eyes. I do not look at him and think "powerful Auror," I'm sorry.
Costuming In General. I was distressed at the increasing Mugglefication of the outfits. I understand why Muggle-style uniforms were introduced in the first movie... a sea of black robes would be both difficult and uninteresting to film. Fine. But... let's make a vague attempt to get real here. Mrs. Weasley in a perfectly ordinary, if somewhat unattractive, dress. Percy, looking entirely too awkward in a pinstriped jacket and brown tie (apparently the only one he owns). And Voldemort? In a suit? I don't care how amazingly expensive it was, it's still a suit. Did the costuming director miss the part where dear Tom hates Muggles and everything about them? Was that too subtly done? DOES IT NEED TO BE BEATEN INTO HER HEAD WITH A TROLL HAMMER?
Ahem. Where was I? Oh yes. While we're at it, how about:
Haircuts. Okay, I think maybe the GoF 70s hair was a bit much for most of the boys. (I laugh every time I see that icon that says something along the lines of "Harry, Farrah Fawcett called, she wants her hair back.") But this was just horrifying. Can we find a happy medium for HBP, please? I'm begging here. Especially for Neville, who was tortured sufficiently by the abovementioned costume department without being made to look like a little old man with a bad hairpiece, okay?
But Wormtail's mullet? AHAHAHA.
Spells. Let's talk Apparation. So... neutral folk like the twins just appear suddenly. Folk on the side of Light appear with an accompanying white mist. Death Eaters? Black mist.
Ooh, I know! I propose that every witch or wizard must be subjected to an Apparation test! Those with black mist get locked in Azkaban!
Ahem. Okay, maybe that wasn't supposed to be Apparation. In any case, it was silly.
Stupefy. Apparently, instead of knocking you out, this now tosses you back in a manner strikingly similar to a powerful Expelliarmus. Except without the useful disarming bit. And yet it is one of the most useful spells in your arsenal, according to Harry. Raise your hand if you're confused.
Also, Avada Maxima? I get that "Avada" maybe translates to "destroy," but we couldn't have blown up the wall with, I don't know, REDUCTO Maxima, just so it wouldn't sound so Unforgivable-Curse-y? Or was that the point, because if it was, it wasn't terribly clear.
Kreacher. I knew, when this was being spread about, that it wasn't really a leak as it claims, but a fan-created Kreacher. Still, I think part of me hoped that Warner Brothers or whoever would find that fan and put him to work, because it was brilliantly done. Even so, my mental image is more like the Mary GrandPre illustration, and Kreacher was nothing like that, either. He looked more like Homunculus!Voldemort, only with a pointy nose and ears.
Michael Gambon. Okay, was I the only one who thought he was channeling William Shatner at the hearing? "Witness for the defense, Albus Percival... Wulfric... Brian... Dumbledore." I know there are people who adore him and think Richard Harris was too soft and old to play Dumbledore, but come on. No matter how you read Dumbledore - evil, manipulative, candidate for sainthood, gross incompetent, whatever - you've got to admit that he, at least occasionally, shows some (false, perhaps, if that's your reading) modesty. Gambon has none. He is the most important person in every scene and by God he will make sure you know it too.
Lucky for him, the screenplay supports this opinion. Unlucky for me.
The Kiss. All right, I admit it. I hate Cho. Her only redeeming quality in canon is that her existence allows Hermione to Slytherinly handle Harry while we all watch and laugh. So I may be predisposed to dislike anything involving her. However.
The kiss was, I think we can all agree, a lovely Hollywood number that nobody would ever ever ever have for their first kiss. Fine; it's a movie, I accept that. Would it have killed them to give Cho a single sparkling tear or something, though? Because the entire scene that followed made no sense in context with the Hollywood Kiss of Perfection.
This, I felt, was the winner of the "Did you actually READ the book?" Award for the Yates/Goldenberg team. Harry describes the kiss, both in the book and in the movie, as "wet." In the book, it's wet because - wait for it - Cho is crying. Yes, ladies and gentlemen! It naturally follows, then, that Hermione explains Cho's multitude of confused feelings, and Ron is bewildered, and Hermione gets to say that he has the emotional range of a teaspoon. But let's look at the movie:
HARRY: We had a beautiful kiss that looked good onscreen, and thus involved no spit. It was wet.
HERMIONE: Well, first kisses can be wet, Harry, but don't worry, you'll get the hang of not drooling eventually. And... er... Cho will manage less sloppy kisses when she's... not distracted by her tumultuous feelings about Cedric?
Does this make sense to anyone? Anyone? Let's see a show of hands.
*crickets chirp*
Not that I wasn't glad to hear the teaspoon line. I love that line, and so does everyone else in fandom if I had to guess by the number of references to it in fic. But the means of getting there DIDN'T. MAKE. SENSE.
But Jane, you say, Harry said she was crying!
True. I didn't catch that, first time around. So... I'm to believe that amazing first snog went on yet longer, during which she started to cry? Ouch. Poor Harry.
Ginny. I admit it: I wanted to see the Bat-Bogey Hex. But more importantly, I wanted to see some of that fire we got in the book. She may have still been pining after Harry in her heart, but she made a damn fine effort at Getting A Life, and she's been stripped of that here. I didn't need the subplot with the boyfriend, or whatever, but those longing looks, and glares at Cho, were a poor substitute for her real connections with Harry: the being-possessed thing, and the Easter-eggs thing. They relegated her to Awestruck Little Girl again.
But Jane! you cry. Harry was sooooooo totally impressed with her mad Reducto skillz!
Stretching it. Reheheheally.
Between the Harry/Hermioneness of... every single line Steve Kloves ever wrote, and the Harry/Luna scene at the end of this film, I have a feeling that the "I never saw H/G coming!" brouhaha is going to be even stronger amongst the moviegoing crowd than it was in fandom when HBP came out.
Occlumency. On one hand, I cheered, because the movie makes it entirely Snape Being An Arse that ends the Occlumency - Harry only sees that memory because he was protecting himself. On the other hand... OotP is all about the consequences of bad choices. While I do suspect that Snape deliberately left that Pensieve lying about to tempt Harry into looking in it, that was still Harry's bad choice and he has to live with all the What Ifs. Removing that cheapened the whole thing. (The lack of reaction to James being a git was also problematic, but I realized in HBP, even if Harry didn't, that it was Snape's own spell that was being used against him and thus he probably did deserve it, so I'm not too fussed.)
The Black Family Tree. Soooo... Andromeda was there. Uncle Alphard was there. But not Cissy. And not Regulus, which means... either the whole of fandom is wrong about RAB, or Sirius is going to have a random magically-appearing brother in the next film. Whoopsie.
The Department of Mysteries. The Hall of Prophecies was way cooler than we had any right to expect from a zillion shelves of glass balls. And Bella and Neville had a lovely moment. Unfortunately, it was all downhill from there.
The Death Room scene was like a slap across the face. I understand they were pressed for time, but the sudden and total capture of all five of them really cheapened the battle. Those kids got picked off one by one, and they went down fighting, not with the sudden appearance of wands at their chins. They were better than that. If they'd known - or used - some more-damaging or less-easily-reversible spells, they might not've been in bad shape. The decision to make them look like useless children, while probably more likely to reflect the level of skill of minions an effective Dark Lord would choose for the job, was just appalling.
And then we escape to the Atrium, and there was the Voldie/Dumbles battle (which started out looking oddly like the Priori Incantatem effect in the last film)... and then Harry was possessed.
I liked the extended possession. I thought Harry's eyes ought have been red rather than green, but otherwise... well, all right, Harry's lines were cheesey, but they had to be done.
My problem was that Dumbledore gets the credit. In the book, it's a fleeting thing. Harry has given up. He thinks about Sirius, and it's that love that sends Voldemort out of his head. There is no Dumbledore giving advice about how his differences from Voldemort are what's important. It's all Harry. He gives up, but he triumphs anyway, all on his own. But in the movie, it's not a spontaneous feeling of love, but calculated thoughts prompted by Dumbledore that win the day.
And thus it ends, leaving me with the bitterest of bitter tastes in my mouth.
But Jane, you point out, your "Good" list is just as long as your "Bad" list!
Yes. Yes it is. And I could have added more to both of them (the mind boggles, doesn't it?), but even if I put in every single thing in my notes, the "Bad" list wouldn't be the longer.
So what the bloody buggering HELL is the problem, Janie?
That's why this review is so goddamn long... because I have trouble articulating it. But what it boils down to is that Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix was a book about making the wrong choices and suffering the consequences. Harry and Occlumency. Dumbledore and Harry, in so many ways. Sirius and the duel. Marietta the snitch. The Ministry Six and their varying degrees of injury. Fudge - though he doesn't really suffer until the beginning of HBP - and Voldemort's return. Lucius (and the other Death Eaters) being sent to Azkaban. Draco confronting people who've just held their own against Voldemort's top goons, and being hexed into slughood.
Umbridge seems to have suffered more than she did in canon - being subjected to an inquiry, and all - but what about the rest of them? What about the characters we care about? Identify with? Know and love (or love to hate)?
What is the theme of this movie?
I have to say, I really don't know. And that is what bothers me most.