fml.
2 fridays ago nick broke up with me... in a fucking letter. i was seriously devastated. i couldnt even believe he was actually breaking up with me. the last week or two before that things kinda fell back the way they were before we took that 4 month break. he was back to doing the band thing all day long for two days, and whenever he was home, he was just pretty much on his computer or smoking cigarettes outside on the phone. and all he would say about it when i tried to talk to him was oh i got a job. dont you see im trying to work on our relationship i got a job! oh being a responsible adult like every other person on earth is you trying to fix our relationship! i thought like us getting back together and trying to work things out, entailed him actually trying and giving a shit. guess not. thats all i ever wanted. alittle less time doing band shit and alittle more time invested into rekindling our relationship. i guess his idea was me shutting my mouth, being okay with whatever he wanted to do, and me putting forth all the effort into fixing the relationship.
i dunno. everything is pretty much shit. i feel so dead and empty inside. i really thought we could of worked things out. i really wanted to spend the rest of my life with nick. i dont even know what to do now. im trying to be strong and good about it... for colette's sake if anything. inside i feel angry, hurt, bitter. im trying to be friends with nick. i want to still have a happy family and do things together. i dont want to be like my parents, or his, or alot of other divorced or seperated parents. that isnt what i want for colette. its super hard right now though. i just see things that make me want to break down every now and again... things like him talking to all the whore bag girls he was sketchy with. i mean cmon you just dumped me. we were together for 5 years, we were engaged to be married, im the mother of your child, and your going to fucking like rub shit in my face all over the internet where i can see it. atleast have the decency to do it behind my back and spare my feelings. have some respect please.
at this point im really just trying to make it through everyday. time heals all wounds right, isnt that what they say?? well i wish time would hurry the fuck up.
i dunno. everything is pretty much shit. i feel so dead and empty inside. i really thought we could of worked things out. i really wanted to spend the rest of my life with nick. i dont even know what to do now. im trying to be strong and good about it... for colette's sake if anything. inside i feel angry, hurt, bitter. im trying to be friends with nick. i want to still have a happy family and do things together. i dont want to be like my parents, or his, or alot of other divorced or seperated parents. that isnt what i want for colette. its super hard right now though. i just see things that make me want to break down every now and again... things like him talking to all the whore bag girls he was sketchy with. i mean cmon you just dumped me. we were together for 5 years, we were engaged to be married, im the mother of your child, and your going to fucking like rub shit in my face all over the internet where i can see it. atleast have the decency to do it behind my back and spare my feelings. have some respect please.
at this point im really just trying to make it through everyday. time heals all wounds right, isnt that what they say?? well i wish time would hurry the fuck up.