The family you choose
Most people know their biological family. You love them, you hate them--often at the same time. You know you always have them and for the most part (if you are lucky to have a good family), they support you with love, money, and the occasional get-together filled with yummy delicious food.
On other days, they infuriate you so much you walk away and ruin Christmas. Or you hang up on them. Or you hang up on them without saying "I love you." (With my dad, that is a huge, major sin.) But you calm down and you call them back, or visit them again. Whatever.
Oh, but the family you choose feels so much richer some days. You have absolutely nothing to tie you together save your memories, common interests, and mutual friends. I've had many people some and go in my chosen family. People I thought would never leave it. Apparently, I was wrong. My best friend from high school is not in my life any more. My best friend from college isn't such a great influence on my life any more. My first best friend from Rosie's doesn't include me so much. And my most recent best friend from Rosie's stabbed me in the back and then lied about it.
Wow, it sounds like I have a lot of best friends. And, generally, I do. No one is necessarily better than any other. They're all just different. One is my book club bestie, one was my guy-watching and going out best friend. I had an anime/TV show best friend--who was also great and hell on my self-esteem. And there was my best friend I was (was?) in love with.
So the latest an greatest is like another piece of me. Every time we talk, we find more in common. Common pasts, common heartaches, common personalities, common OCD's. (You're getting the gist, right?) I just really don't want this one to slip away. So I'll hold on loosely, be myself, and all those other cliches people like to tell themselves. When the two of us are around each other, we don't have to try. Neither of us puts on a front or worries the other isn't having a good time. We don't have to censor ourselves and we never feel that the other is judging. And even when things are known without words, we give voice to them anyway, just to be sure.
On other days, they infuriate you so much you walk away and ruin Christmas. Or you hang up on them. Or you hang up on them without saying "I love you." (With my dad, that is a huge, major sin.) But you calm down and you call them back, or visit them again. Whatever.
Oh, but the family you choose feels so much richer some days. You have absolutely nothing to tie you together save your memories, common interests, and mutual friends. I've had many people some and go in my chosen family. People I thought would never leave it. Apparently, I was wrong. My best friend from high school is not in my life any more. My best friend from college isn't such a great influence on my life any more. My first best friend from Rosie's doesn't include me so much. And my most recent best friend from Rosie's stabbed me in the back and then lied about it.
Wow, it sounds like I have a lot of best friends. And, generally, I do. No one is necessarily better than any other. They're all just different. One is my book club bestie, one was my guy-watching and going out best friend. I had an anime/TV show best friend--who was also great and hell on my self-esteem. And there was my best friend I was (was?) in love with.
So the latest an greatest is like another piece of me. Every time we talk, we find more in common. Common pasts, common heartaches, common personalities, common OCD's. (You're getting the gist, right?) I just really don't want this one to slip away. So I'll hold on loosely, be myself, and all those other cliches people like to tell themselves. When the two of us are around each other, we don't have to try. Neither of us puts on a front or worries the other isn't having a good time. We don't have to censor ourselves and we never feel that the other is judging. And even when things are known without words, we give voice to them anyway, just to be sure.