TOW I Throw in the Towel
Regarding the title of this entry, I GIVE UP! What am I giving up, you might ask? “Well, lots of things,” would be my answer.
NB: I typed up all the things I’m giving up and I realized that you would all find it a bit depressing and ask me to seek help. So I removed them, except the major cause for my anger.
VACATION BIBLE SCHOOL. Oh, I’ll see this year through, but never again will I embark upon trying to organize things for any purpose whatsoever [including educational events, parties, surprises, ensembles, etc.]. That doesn’t mean I don’t care, it just means that when I do these things, they turn to crap due to circumstances beyond my control [hostile takeovers, last-minute cancellations, inclement weather, etc.] so why bother trying? In this case, I can’t get the help I need, we have no funding, AND to cap it off, my liason at the other church is overwrought with work to begin with and this is the last thing on her priority list so shit has been done---I’m one person and I can’t be everywhere at once: I can’t be directing the thing and teaching 7 different sites and managing the snack session. Also, we have like no registrants; we’re gonna have an expensive VBS with teachers [very few] and no students. This is taking so much out of me [worry-wise], I can’t sleep at night. You know when I do sleep? From about 7:30 AM - 10:00 AM [and that’s if I’m lucky]. I’ve been forced to count backwards from 100 in order to do any kind of relaxing and then I’m lucky if I drift off before 42. Someone once told me that being unable to fall asleep is the mark of a troubled soul. Indeed. So, I’ve decided, “FUCK IT” and next time it’s around at my church, I hope I’m not in charge of it.
Dolores, you once asked me what song I felt best described me. Well, after some thought, I came to the determination that it was Somebody to Love by Queen. Although, Beauty School Dropout from Grease is temporarily running a close second.
NB: I typed up all the things I’m giving up and I realized that you would all find it a bit depressing and ask me to seek help. So I removed them, except the major cause for my anger.
VACATION BIBLE SCHOOL. Oh, I’ll see this year through, but never again will I embark upon trying to organize things for any purpose whatsoever [including educational events, parties, surprises, ensembles, etc.]. That doesn’t mean I don’t care, it just means that when I do these things, they turn to crap due to circumstances beyond my control [hostile takeovers, last-minute cancellations, inclement weather, etc.] so why bother trying? In this case, I can’t get the help I need, we have no funding, AND to cap it off, my liason at the other church is overwrought with work to begin with and this is the last thing on her priority list so shit has been done---I’m one person and I can’t be everywhere at once: I can’t be directing the thing and teaching 7 different sites and managing the snack session. Also, we have like no registrants; we’re gonna have an expensive VBS with teachers [very few] and no students. This is taking so much out of me [worry-wise], I can’t sleep at night. You know when I do sleep? From about 7:30 AM - 10:00 AM [and that’s if I’m lucky]. I’ve been forced to count backwards from 100 in order to do any kind of relaxing and then I’m lucky if I drift off before 42. Someone once told me that being unable to fall asleep is the mark of a troubled soul. Indeed. So, I’ve decided, “FUCK IT” and next time it’s around at my church, I hope I’m not in charge of it.
Dolores, you once asked me what song I felt best described me. Well, after some thought, I came to the determination that it was Somebody to Love by Queen. Although, Beauty School Dropout from Grease is temporarily running a close second.