I am competely miserable, san diego.
i miss amy so much. i spend 98% of every day thinking about all the good times and all the things i wish i hadnt said and done. I still know i made the right decision but im so miserable without her. i just want this to pass so i can be ok.
I am financially retarded. I owe my dad £100, my mum £100, i have to pay £24 for driving lesson every week, and i cannot seem to keep my spending under control. im supposed to be saving for university, and so far i have saved nothing. absolutely nothing.
according to my dad, i am the following; 'selfish, lazy, contribute nothing to the house, take the piss, only think about myself'. he rants at me mulltiple times daily; 'have you phoned the IT guy?' 'have you booked your next driving lesson?' 'whats the situation with your university applications?' 'why havent you emptied the dishwasher?'. and when i purposefully dont come home till after 10 every night (so he is asleep when i get home), he lectures me by text for not being around, and orders me to come home straight after work so he can lecture me more.
i appear to be the only person in my band who gives enough of a shit to try and organise recordings/gigs/practises. noone else really cares. and now ive found out our semi final for the battle of the bands probably wont happen as the venue its held at no longer supports live music, and is shutting down. so kill claudio might as well not exist.
i cannot live like this. everything is shit.