(no subject)

[jamellalee]

its been a while since ive posted anything here. i guess im not really sure what to say anymore.its pretty much the same old bullshit everyday.this is life? what the fuck?i feel like a robot. i just dont feel like me anymore. but then again who is " me" anyway? i dont seem to feel much of anything really, and when i do it doesnt feel right. i thought by moving out of my fathers house and being on my own i wouldnt feel like this. so much for that idea. this feeling keeps following me. well you know what that means...its me! why do i always feel so.... i dont know, empty? alone? even when im hanging out with my friends i still feel... empty. what the hell!! i wish i knew what was missing. anyway.... so i had to go to dartmouth yesterday. just for a couple check ups. its such a pain in the ass though. i drive about 45 minutes to get there. yesterday i had two appointments to go to.the first one was at 10. the other one was at 130. i didnt leave until around 3 something. so i spent almost the whole day up there for two appointments that took 10 minutes.oh and im still in remission! they are still scratching their heads about that one. HA!! bengston says to keep our fingers crossed. as if thats what made the cancer go away. ok if you say so. anyway, i dont really know what else to talk about so im gonna go for now. till next time.

If youre reading this... I am atill here