"Benefits"...My Way (Part III)
Title: "Benefits"...My Way (Part III)
Rating: PG-13 for language
Spoilers for: nothing after Benefits.
Word Count: 840
Written for: roland44
-- I'm hoping to continue this, please comment if you like it!
Barney moved his head from side to side and felt his neck crack. He should've knocked by now--he'd been standing there for more than a minute--but every time he raised his hand he couldn't quite bring himself to do it. He wanted to see Robin; he couldn't wait to see Robin, actually, but...that didn't mean he wasn't nervous.
He shook his head at that thought and finally brought himself to knock.
He heard moving around inside the apartment, but he couldn't tell if it was one person moving or two.
The door swung open; Barney stood face-to-face with Ted. Tired, worn-out Ted. Ted in a robe.
Post-sex Ted.
Barney knew the look; the weary but contented smile, the more than slightly lewd twinkle in the eye. His hair was even more mussed than usual, and his robe was hanging open, showing his dark blue boxers.
"You open the door like that?" Barney asked, gesturing to Ted's wardrobe.
Ted shrugged. "Who's it gonna be other than one of you guys?"
Barney smirked. "Wow, that's a sad statement on your social life."
Ted shrugged again and turned away. He left the door open as he walked to the couch. "Whatever. Dinner's almost ready."
Barney nodded and came into the apartment, swinging the door closed behind him. "Great. The game's at 8:00, so..."
"Game?" Ted settled onto the couch and frowned up at his friend.
"Yeah. Hockey game."
"Oh, wow, Robin must be chomping at the bit."
Barney sat next to Ted and leaned back. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, she must be so jealous that you're taking some girl to a hockey game."
Now it was Barney's turn to frown; Robin hadn't told Ted about the game. Hmm. Maybe Ted had been too...uh, busy. With something, or someone. "Yeah," Barney began carefully, "about that...I'm taking--"
Before he could finish, Robin walked into the room from the kitchen. She stopped his words, she stopped his breath. She was so beautiful. She was so...
In a robe. Barney jerked up in his seat and stared. A robe, glowing skin, tired limbs, twinkling eyes...
Barney looked back and forth between Robin and Ted and said the words he'd said once before; now, the words meant so much more. "Aww, you guys did it, didn't you?"
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Barney violently stabbed his salmon with his fork.
"I think it's already dead," Ted quipped.
Barney had to bite his lip to refrain from responding; he stuffed a bite of salmon into his mouth and wondered almost idly if his lip was bleeding.
Robin giggled at Ted's comment and gracefully sipped her white wine. "Yeah, Barney, what's up with you? Are you that excited about the hockey game?"
If his lip wasn't bleeding before, it probably was now. Was she that oblivious? Really? Finally he said, "Sure."
She frowned at him for a moment and then went back to her meal.
"So..." Barney broached the subject carefully, "you guys are back together?"
Barney thought he was the only one who noticed Ted's furtive look at Robin. "Nah," Ted said nonchalantly. "It's just sex."
"Yep," Robin confirmed. "Just sex. Stress-relieving sex." She winked at Ted.
Barney felt his stomach turn over. He wasn't sure if the fact that 'it was just sex' should make him feel better or worse. "Oh," was all he could think of to say. He pushed his plate away from him; he wouldn't be eating anymore of this salmon any time soon.
After glancing at her cell phone, Robin looked at Barney. "The game starts soon. I gotta get changed; I'll be ready in, like, fifteen minutes."
Barney didn't trust himself to say anything; the insult and pain of the situation (and Robin eating the meal in her robe, which was currently falling innocently off one shoulder) was still freshly with him.
She pushed back from the table and darted to her bedroom. Ted leaned back in his chair and tossed his arm carelessly over the back. "Mmm, good times, good times."
Barney could feel the brag coming on; he just didn't know how the hell to get out of listening to it.
As predicted, Ted went on, "Yeah, as someone recently told me: it's like riding a bike. You wanna take a ride, you just..." he couldn't stop the giggle. "You just hop on." He laughed fully now and held up a fist. "You must bump this!"
After forcing himself to touch his fist to Ted's, he forced a smile. "Yeah, uh...yeah. Good job."
Ted smirked. "Good job? That's all you have to say to me at a time like this?" He titled his head and smiled evilly. "You're just bitter 'cause you're jealous. Doesn't this deserve some kind of variation of The Belt? Do you have a Robin Scherbatsky Bingo, like if you get her five times in a row--"
Barney couldn't stop the outburst climbing up his throat. "This isn't a fucking game, Ted. Robin's not a game. You're being disgusting." He shoved his chair back from the table and prowled into the kitchen.
"I'm being disgusting? Really? Because I thought I was just playing the role you usually play. You're being all weird tonight; I figured someone had to do it, and I was the only one--"
"Jesus, Ted, leave it alone. Just fucking move on."
Ted recoiled. "Wow. Uh...okay. Yeah." He seemed to wander aimlessly away, but Barney knew better.
He waited in the kitchen for a couple of minutes until his nerves and his anger were under control. He leaned against the counter, his hands on the surface and the muscles standing out in his arms. He concentrated on his breathing, on staying calm and awesome. Finally he sauntered into the living room. "Ted. Dude. Sorry about that."
Ted pretended to watch TV and said nothing.
"Really, man. I'm sorry. I didn't mean--i"
Ted looked up. "Oh. Barney. Didn't even know you were there. Got kind of wrapped up in..." he gestured to the TV and hesitated, "...um, Spongebob." He looked back at Barney and forced a laugh. "You know, that crazy sponge keeps--"
"Ted. I'm sorry."
"...Yeah. Okay."
Barney sighed and sat in the chair. "Really? 'Cause you seem weird."
'I seem weird? I'm the weird one in this situation?"
Barney laughed lightly at that and shook his head. "I'm just...I'm in kind of a dry spell right now, you know?" he invented on the spot.
Ted frowned. He didn't believe it for a second. "Oh. Okay." He nodded and decided, for the moment, to be content with the lie. "It won't last much longer, dude, it can't. You're...well, you're you."
Barney grinned and raised a brow. "You tryin' to tell me something, Theodore?"
Ted laughed and slapped his hands against his thighs. "Well, I'm fed and happy. And tired. You know, after that little marathon," Ted said and winked, but the comment and the gesture seemed half-hearted. "I have an early day tomorrow, got this building thing, so I'm gonna..." he gestured vaguely in the direction of his bedroom.
Barney nodded and leaned back in the chair, trying desperately to relax. "Yeah, okay, cool. See ya."
Ted--again with that seemingly ambling walk--made it to his bedroom and closed the door in silence.
Barney waited in the chair, wiping his hands on his trousers. He checked his purple shirt, confirming the absence of any stain or blemish on the fabric. He glanced at his watch and thought about calling out to Robin, telling her to hurry her little--albeit beautiful--ass to get ready.
Turned out he didn't need to. Robin opened her bedroom door and came out in jeans and a hockey jersey with holes big enough to see through, and he wasn't sure what--if anything--she was wearing underneath.
His heart stopped, his breath stopped.
His world stopped.
Rating: PG-13 for language
Spoilers for: nothing after Benefits.
Word Count: 840
Written for: roland44
-- I'm hoping to continue this, please comment if you like it!
Barney moved his head from side to side and felt his neck crack. He should've knocked by now--he'd been standing there for more than a minute--but every time he raised his hand he couldn't quite bring himself to do it. He wanted to see Robin; he couldn't wait to see Robin, actually, but...that didn't mean he wasn't nervous.
He shook his head at that thought and finally brought himself to knock.
He heard moving around inside the apartment, but he couldn't tell if it was one person moving or two.
The door swung open; Barney stood face-to-face with Ted. Tired, worn-out Ted. Ted in a robe.
Post-sex Ted.
Barney knew the look; the weary but contented smile, the more than slightly lewd twinkle in the eye. His hair was even more mussed than usual, and his robe was hanging open, showing his dark blue boxers.
"You open the door like that?" Barney asked, gesturing to Ted's wardrobe.
Ted shrugged. "Who's it gonna be other than one of you guys?"
Barney smirked. "Wow, that's a sad statement on your social life."
Ted shrugged again and turned away. He left the door open as he walked to the couch. "Whatever. Dinner's almost ready."
Barney nodded and came into the apartment, swinging the door closed behind him. "Great. The game's at 8:00, so..."
"Game?" Ted settled onto the couch and frowned up at his friend.
"Yeah. Hockey game."
"Oh, wow, Robin must be chomping at the bit."
Barney sat next to Ted and leaned back. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, she must be so jealous that you're taking some girl to a hockey game."
Now it was Barney's turn to frown; Robin hadn't told Ted about the game. Hmm. Maybe Ted had been too...uh, busy. With something, or someone. "Yeah," Barney began carefully, "about that...I'm taking--"
Before he could finish, Robin walked into the room from the kitchen. She stopped his words, she stopped his breath. She was so beautiful. She was so...
In a robe. Barney jerked up in his seat and stared. A robe, glowing skin, tired limbs, twinkling eyes...
Barney looked back and forth between Robin and Ted and said the words he'd said once before; now, the words meant so much more. "Aww, you guys did it, didn't you?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Barney violently stabbed his salmon with his fork.
"I think it's already dead," Ted quipped.
Barney had to bite his lip to refrain from responding; he stuffed a bite of salmon into his mouth and wondered almost idly if his lip was bleeding.
Robin giggled at Ted's comment and gracefully sipped her white wine. "Yeah, Barney, what's up with you? Are you that excited about the hockey game?"
If his lip wasn't bleeding before, it probably was now. Was she that oblivious? Really? Finally he said, "Sure."
She frowned at him for a moment and then went back to her meal.
"So..." Barney broached the subject carefully, "you guys are back together?"
Barney thought he was the only one who noticed Ted's furtive look at Robin. "Nah," Ted said nonchalantly. "It's just sex."
"Yep," Robin confirmed. "Just sex. Stress-relieving sex." She winked at Ted.
Barney felt his stomach turn over. He wasn't sure if the fact that 'it was just sex' should make him feel better or worse. "Oh," was all he could think of to say. He pushed his plate away from him; he wouldn't be eating anymore of this salmon any time soon.
After glancing at her cell phone, Robin looked at Barney. "The game starts soon. I gotta get changed; I'll be ready in, like, fifteen minutes."
Barney didn't trust himself to say anything; the insult and pain of the situation (and Robin eating the meal in her robe, which was currently falling innocently off one shoulder) was still freshly with him.
She pushed back from the table and darted to her bedroom. Ted leaned back in his chair and tossed his arm carelessly over the back. "Mmm, good times, good times."
Barney could feel the brag coming on; he just didn't know how the hell to get out of listening to it.
As predicted, Ted went on, "Yeah, as someone recently told me: it's like riding a bike. You wanna take a ride, you just..." he couldn't stop the giggle. "You just hop on." He laughed fully now and held up a fist. "You must bump this!"
After forcing himself to touch his fist to Ted's, he forced a smile. "Yeah, uh...yeah. Good job."
Ted smirked. "Good job? That's all you have to say to me at a time like this?" He titled his head and smiled evilly. "You're just bitter 'cause you're jealous. Doesn't this deserve some kind of variation of The Belt? Do you have a Robin Scherbatsky Bingo, like if you get her five times in a row--"
Barney couldn't stop the outburst climbing up his throat. "This isn't a fucking game, Ted. Robin's not a game. You're being disgusting." He shoved his chair back from the table and prowled into the kitchen.
"I'm being disgusting? Really? Because I thought I was just playing the role you usually play. You're being all weird tonight; I figured someone had to do it, and I was the only one--"
"Jesus, Ted, leave it alone. Just fucking move on."
Ted recoiled. "Wow. Uh...okay. Yeah." He seemed to wander aimlessly away, but Barney knew better.
He waited in the kitchen for a couple of minutes until his nerves and his anger were under control. He leaned against the counter, his hands on the surface and the muscles standing out in his arms. He concentrated on his breathing, on staying calm and awesome. Finally he sauntered into the living room. "Ted. Dude. Sorry about that."
Ted pretended to watch TV and said nothing.
"Really, man. I'm sorry. I didn't mean--i"
Ted looked up. "Oh. Barney. Didn't even know you were there. Got kind of wrapped up in..." he gestured to the TV and hesitated, "...um, Spongebob." He looked back at Barney and forced a laugh. "You know, that crazy sponge keeps--"
"Ted. I'm sorry."
"...Yeah. Okay."
Barney sighed and sat in the chair. "Really? 'Cause you seem weird."
'I seem weird? I'm the weird one in this situation?"
Barney laughed lightly at that and shook his head. "I'm just...I'm in kind of a dry spell right now, you know?" he invented on the spot.
Ted frowned. He didn't believe it for a second. "Oh. Okay." He nodded and decided, for the moment, to be content with the lie. "It won't last much longer, dude, it can't. You're...well, you're you."
Barney grinned and raised a brow. "You tryin' to tell me something, Theodore?"
Ted laughed and slapped his hands against his thighs. "Well, I'm fed and happy. And tired. You know, after that little marathon," Ted said and winked, but the comment and the gesture seemed half-hearted. "I have an early day tomorrow, got this building thing, so I'm gonna..." he gestured vaguely in the direction of his bedroom.
Barney nodded and leaned back in the chair, trying desperately to relax. "Yeah, okay, cool. See ya."
Ted--again with that seemingly ambling walk--made it to his bedroom and closed the door in silence.
Barney waited in the chair, wiping his hands on his trousers. He checked his purple shirt, confirming the absence of any stain or blemish on the fabric. He glanced at his watch and thought about calling out to Robin, telling her to hurry her little--albeit beautiful--ass to get ready.
Turned out he didn't need to. Robin opened her bedroom door and came out in jeans and a hockey jersey with holes big enough to see through, and he wasn't sure what--if anything--she was wearing underneath.
His heart stopped, his breath stopped.
His world stopped.