Things You Wish You Could Say At Work
...or in class. Or anywhere else for that matter.
1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
2. How about never? Is never good for you?
3. I don't know what your problem is, but I bet it's hard to pronounce.
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
6. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
7. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
8. Ahh... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...
9. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
10. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
11. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
12. And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be?
13. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
14. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
15. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
16. This isn't an office. It's Hell with flourescent lighting.
17. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
18. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?
20. Can I trade this job for what's behind door # 1?
21. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
22. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
23. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
24. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
25. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
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Hmmm... Circuses huh? That's not such a bad idea. Same goes for duct tape. :)