things are not looking up
i'm lonley on new year's. my boyfriend or should we say ex boyfriend is with sam and other people. he acts like he doesn't care. sam called me ealier trying to start shit. she called saying "hi this is jim's girlfriend." if fucking hate her i swear to god i wanna kick her ass so fucking bad. if i had a car right now i'd go on over to nick's house and fucking settle this shit. farah talked to me and made me feel a lot better about everything. if jim wants it to be over for good then his loss right? i can't help but love him though and i'm still living on a false hope. it's possible that things might work out? idk i wanna be positive but i don't think i should be. what kills me even more is that things were fine last night. i was so relieved and happy that everything was okay again and now this. i wish i hadn't made that phone call to sam even though she'd hear it from me sooner or later. i should've waited until after new year's. what if she kisses him at midnight. that's supposed to be me thats what i want to do. ugh what the fuck did i do to deserve this. jodie called me asking to do something but my parents are fucking assholes and won't let me out this late. it's so not fair. nothing can ever work out these days. someone wake me up from this nightmare.
1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
fell deeply in love
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
never made one and probably never will
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
my mom
4. Did anyone close to you die?
i don't think so
5. What countries did you visit?
none
6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
my freaking licence
7. What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
6/13/04 me and jimmy started going out
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
having a long-term relationship that i am refusing to give up on
9. What was your biggest failure?
none i can think of
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
no
11. What was the best thing you bought?
no idea
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
mine and jimmy's 6th monther especially
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
everything happening right now
14. Where did most of your money go?
freakin cell phone debt
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
jim
16. What song will always remind you of 2004?
a lot of songs like during the summer there's a lot but idk too many to say
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. Older or wiser? - both?
ii. Thinner or fatter?- fatter i think
iii. Richer or poorer?- Poorer
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
idk
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
no idea
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
my house during the day and nikki's at night. christmas was ruined by bad news
22. Did you fall in love in 2004?
yes
23. How many one-night stands?
none
24. What was your favorite TV program?
i don't watch much tv
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
nope
26. What was the best book you read?
no books here
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
idk
28. What did you want and get?
jim
29. What did you want and not get?
umm?
30. What was your favorite film of this year?
idk
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
a good ending to it
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
me
34. What kept you sane?
jim, friends, music
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
bam margera
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
bush winning the election
37. Who did you miss?
erica
38. Who was the best new person you met?
jim definately
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004.
love [hopefully] conquers all?
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"lives too short so love the one you got cuz you might get run over or you might get shot?" - sublime
best _____ of the year:
1. party: cool how i went to like no parties there were bon fires with my jimmy though
2. show: idk
3. cd: guns n roses / greatest hits
4. movie: idk
5. song: no idea
6. experience: being with jimmy
7. concert: yea no concerts here
9. month: june tomid december
10. day: 6/13/04 & 8/16/04
worst ____ of the year:
1. party: nope
2. show: idk
3. cd: idk
4. movie: shut up
5. song: rap shit
6. experience: christmas night to december 29th and now new year's eve
7. concert: shut up
8. book: enough
9. month: end of december
10. Day: today
hopes for 2005:
1. predict something that you think will happen in 2005: things will hopefully get better with me and jim. thats all i want
2. what do you hope changes about your country?: bush gets outta here
3. what do you hope for yourself?: idk
4. what do you hope for your family?: my dad stays in a good mood all the time
5. what do you hope for your best friend[s]?: that they have a happy, healthy, fun 2005
during 2004:
1. where were you when it began?: ryan's house
2. did you stay up?: yea
3. what was your new year wish?: a boyfriend
4. how many boy/girlfriends?: 1
5. broke up?: well idk if it's a break up yet..
6. have any crushes?: only one
7. care to mention names?: jim
8. new friends?: mmm..i lost my 2 best friends but they came back
9. had to say goodbye?: i don't think so
10. missed anyone?: yes right now
11. win anything?: no
12. best place you went to?: florida was really fun same with herkimer
13. worst place you went to?: umm none i can think of
14. happiest moment?: finding out jimmy liked me
15. how was your birthday?: beat i think
16. best present?: jimmy found me bailey :)
god i miss him way too much. i pray to god that he comes back :'(
1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
fell deeply in love
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
never made one and probably never will
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
my mom
4. Did anyone close to you die?
i don't think so
5. What countries did you visit?
none
6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
my freaking licence
7. What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
6/13/04 me and jimmy started going out
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
having a long-term relationship that i am refusing to give up on
9. What was your biggest failure?
none i can think of
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
no
11. What was the best thing you bought?
no idea
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
mine and jimmy's 6th monther especially
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
everything happening right now
14. Where did most of your money go?
freakin cell phone debt
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
jim
16. What song will always remind you of 2004?
a lot of songs like during the summer there's a lot but idk too many to say
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. Older or wiser? - both?
ii. Thinner or fatter?- fatter i think
iii. Richer or poorer?- Poorer
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
idk
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
no idea
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
my house during the day and nikki's at night. christmas was ruined by bad news
22. Did you fall in love in 2004?
yes
23. How many one-night stands?
none
24. What was your favorite TV program?
i don't watch much tv
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
nope
26. What was the best book you read?
no books here
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
idk
28. What did you want and get?
jim
29. What did you want and not get?
umm?
30. What was your favorite film of this year?
idk
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
a good ending to it
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
me
34. What kept you sane?
jim, friends, music
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
bam margera
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
bush winning the election
37. Who did you miss?
erica
38. Who was the best new person you met?
jim definately
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004.
love [hopefully] conquers all?
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"lives too short so love the one you got cuz you might get run over or you might get shot?" - sublime
best _____ of the year:
1. party: cool how i went to like no parties there were bon fires with my jimmy though
2. show: idk
3. cd: guns n roses / greatest hits
4. movie: idk
5. song: no idea
6. experience: being with jimmy
7. concert: yea no concerts here
9. month: june tomid december
10. day: 6/13/04 & 8/16/04
worst ____ of the year:
1. party: nope
2. show: idk
3. cd: idk
4. movie: shut up
5. song: rap shit
6. experience: christmas night to december 29th and now new year's eve
7. concert: shut up
8. book: enough
9. month: end of december
10. Day: today
hopes for 2005:
1. predict something that you think will happen in 2005: things will hopefully get better with me and jim. thats all i want
2. what do you hope changes about your country?: bush gets outta here
3. what do you hope for yourself?: idk
4. what do you hope for your family?: my dad stays in a good mood all the time
5. what do you hope for your best friend[s]?: that they have a happy, healthy, fun 2005
during 2004:
1. where were you when it began?: ryan's house
2. did you stay up?: yea
3. what was your new year wish?: a boyfriend
4. how many boy/girlfriends?: 1
5. broke up?: well idk if it's a break up yet..
6. have any crushes?: only one
7. care to mention names?: jim
8. new friends?: mmm..i lost my 2 best friends but they came back
9. had to say goodbye?: i don't think so
10. missed anyone?: yes right now
11. win anything?: no
12. best place you went to?: florida was really fun same with herkimer
13. worst place you went to?: umm none i can think of
14. happiest moment?: finding out jimmy liked me
15. how was your birthday?: beat i think
16. best present?: jimmy found me bailey :)
god i miss him way too much. i pray to god that he comes back :'(