a note to Ben....
So considering that I once again forgot the ending of the msn email addresses, and thus cannot email Ben on his super secret, alter ego email account, I must instead write a note on my lame ass journal and attempt to contact him in this manner.
Are you ever intending on speaking to me again, like, by chance, in order to work things out? Or were you planning on continuing to not back up your speaches about how I should stand up for myself and be allowed my own opinions. This is mental. I had some thoughts, and spoke them aloud, and am now banned from your world. I think my points were pretty fucking valid, and I am not swearing at you, but I am pretty angry, upset and disappointed with how you've handled all of this. You ran away.
For you to say that we do not have the type of relationship where you should be telling me intimate details of your life... was more than a slap in the face. Apparently, I have been living in some sort of alternate reality, where you're allowed to ask me questions, and without waiting for you to ask what I know you would ultimately ask anyway, I told you intimate details of my life. Now, think about how you, in your paranoid "delusion" (as I think of it currently, because I find that you're being completely unfair and uncaring.... at least of my feelings and thoughts and opinions), have told me, next to nothing. How fucking fair is that? How fair is it of you to ask me to fuck you, to talk to you late at night on the phone, to set my feelings on hold and give in to your whims... and don't say you haven't, in one way or another, asked. That would be not only a misinterpretation, but a lie.
I have told you before, how I feel about you, and how I appreciate your friendship, and how you have grown, that was no secret. Nor was it a secret that you loved me in your own way (wheither or not that's still true, I couldn't say, because you apparently don't tell me much anymore...), for all that to be blatantly obvious, but somehow the entirety of the rest of our relationship is "not that way," so all in all, I just don't know what the fuck is going on.
Are you ever intending on speaking to me again, like, by chance, in order to work things out? Or were you planning on continuing to not back up your speaches about how I should stand up for myself and be allowed my own opinions. This is mental. I had some thoughts, and spoke them aloud, and am now banned from your world. I think my points were pretty fucking valid, and I am not swearing at you, but I am pretty angry, upset and disappointed with how you've handled all of this. You ran away.
For you to say that we do not have the type of relationship where you should be telling me intimate details of your life... was more than a slap in the face. Apparently, I have been living in some sort of alternate reality, where you're allowed to ask me questions, and without waiting for you to ask what I know you would ultimately ask anyway, I told you intimate details of my life. Now, think about how you, in your paranoid "delusion" (as I think of it currently, because I find that you're being completely unfair and uncaring.... at least of my feelings and thoughts and opinions), have told me, next to nothing. How fucking fair is that? How fair is it of you to ask me to fuck you, to talk to you late at night on the phone, to set my feelings on hold and give in to your whims... and don't say you haven't, in one way or another, asked. That would be not only a misinterpretation, but a lie.
I have told you before, how I feel about you, and how I appreciate your friendship, and how you have grown, that was no secret. Nor was it a secret that you loved me in your own way (wheither or not that's still true, I couldn't say, because you apparently don't tell me much anymore...), for all that to be blatantly obvious, but somehow the entirety of the rest of our relationship is "not that way," so all in all, I just don't know what the fuck is going on.