This has got to be the hardest two days of my life...
for now we'll say good bye
i know its not the last time
i've lost the best part of my day
it's better, where you're going anyway...
Last night and today have got to be the hardest two days of my life. I don't even know how to describe the feeling. Last night was so unreal. I could not beleive I was actually sitting in the same room with my best friend for one of the last times I will ever be able to physically do that. She looked so peaceful, like she was sleeping. I was just waiting for her to roll over and wake up. That would have been some happy ending. I'm not going to lie, she looked different. But its to be expected. I didn't think it was possible to cry any more that night. And then Tara, Tinie and I went up one last time and it was even harder then before. I cannot imagine life with out her. I miss her so much. It is so hard with out her here. And still so unreal. It was simply amazing how many people showed up last night. Apparently the funeral director counted over 550 names in the sign in book. And we know a lot of the band did not sign. So there was easily 600-700 people there. Amazing. I hope she sees how much she is loved and missed. And I hope I can amount to half of what she is. A part of her will forever be with me and I hope it is the part that always smiled. I miss her more with every passing moment but with the tremendous support I have gotten from everyone it makes it a little easier.
Now on to day two...
Vicki, you are one of a kind. And I love you and miss you very much. You forever have my heart. I hope you can see how many lives you have touched and impacted. I hope you're having a good time up there. Keep a diary of it all because I am going to want details. I love you sweetie. You are forever my BFBDNST. I love you.