Wow i didnt mean this happy entry to turn to an angery one.
Today..
Umm of course did sum chores. Watched t.v and talked online. Then i went to Laurens and swam with her and Zack... Zack showed off his buttcrack... which musta been sweet. I played with the underwater torpedo (them things are hard to throw) I loved swimming. Then we went inside and took a shower... in our swimsuits of course, to get warm. Zack was hilarious as usual. Umm.. then Lauren and i were stumped on where to go afterwards, and Zack suggested put-put golf at Cj Barrymores. So we went and played. Lauren kept getting checked out by mutant men. It was cute. Then these "nerds" (haha not my word.) in front of us were really nice but they wouldnt leave us alone, like he went as far as to monitoring which course we were on. Haha sweet kid tho, i mean he got our balls when we hit them WAY outta the course. Then... Zack wanted to have sum fun so he played in the arcade, Lauren thought about having a little nap on the dirty carpet. Haha yeah we were a little bored.Um..funny little arguments went on in the car b/c we get frustrated when it comes to directions. Then Lauren & I tried to point out how Zack was different... we ended up sounding bitchy and mean... aww Zack you know that we didnt mean it the way it came out. He's sucha good sport he just says hes the normal one and we're all different. haha real awesome. Lauren eats alotta pizza.. thats a fact. Umm then my mom was nice and said i couldnt spend the night.. gay. So i went home at like 10. Then i caught up with the Pistons... who Lost...:-( Sorry guys. My dad was whispering to himself the F word... for sure, multiple times. Then .. i had nice talk with someone i haven't talked to in forever. We always have nice talks.. i apologized for things i've said i the past out of anger and she cleared the nice rumor.
All this hate going around man, i dont know if i can take it much longer. I'm totaly over crying about it. Um, i've said the many I'm sorries... i've meant it all. And i even meant the supposed "line"...It's just super shitty that I'm not allowed to love and care about ALL my friends... like isnt that what friendship is about? You guys to me, are just making it out to be terrible... b/c i bet you love and care about all your friends too. And i hate when people are hypocritical.. but i'm going to tell myself you dont realize your doing it to give you an excuse. I'm sorry if you took the word love the wrong way. It's not like the 'i want to date you' love. It's just the caring and liking who you are, love. I never implied for you to take it any other way. So, I'm sorry if you were mistaken.. I'm also sorry that all i did was tell you sob-stories.. i just figured you cared about me like I cared about you... so in that case you'd love to help no matter what my sad sobbish story was about... thats what friends do... is vent. Unless you never considered me a friend and lied... i really hope thats not it tho, cause then i'd be a fool and you'd be an ass. I dont think you relaize that it hurts me too... you're not the only one being hurt. Not talking is a huge change, and i tried many times to change that... but you never want to fully listen.. so. I'm just going to deal with it and stop being pathetic and begging you to talk to me. Now it's your turn; if you want to change it. But me ... the asumer.. am going to say that you'd rather not talk and really could give four shits; and i'm finally getting ready to say .. thats okay. And you want to tell me about this "you ruined my life" line... b/c according to an ex girlfriend, you used it on her too... hypocritical #2? Maybe. At least my "line" wasnt to hurt someone. You think i'd never find out? Hm i did... kinda wishin i didnt know b/c im pissed about it...cause for days i went to bed hating myself and thinking i was just awful for 'putting you through hell' and it turns out... this would be your second time going though that, correct? Dont think im giving up on the friendships, b/c as of today i really would allow them to all go back to normal if you 2 were willing.. but you're not. I cant say how long i'd be willing to say that either... so if you dont want to give up on it either.. all you have to do is say so, No apologies required. Just you caring would mean enough to me. But something tells me I'm stupid if i thought you guys would forget about something and be the bigger person? .. idk. This whole shitty mess is just that, a mess. And i think this is the last time im discussing it, b/c i feel so betrayed. I'll get over it tho, hopefully so will you.
And thats all that is. As for this other rumor. I think if you knew me at all you'd know thats the stupidest thing ever... yeah lets plan sex b/c thats hot. Umm it's just upsetting that people i havent talked to for months knew that it wasnt true and my own friends.. (well people i thought were friends) believed it? Eh, whatever. It's not even worth it.
Night Guys.