Public Opinion
Why do I let people get to me? Why do other people’s thoughts of who I am or what I should be seem to consume my thoughts from the time I wake up in the morning until I go to bed at night? Is this normal or am I just suffering from massive paranoia? Today I dropped a class in which I had made a 39 on the first test...pretty obvious that I needed to get away from that one, but I was so worried about my parents thinking that I’m not working hard enough or about all of my friends thinking I’m some lazy loser. I mean, honestly, the most logical thing to do was to drop it and to take it another semester when I’m more prepared, but good ole Jaimee never fails to stress herself out about what other people are going to think about her decisions.
A few nights ago I made a mistake that I regret with all my heart. God and I talked about it for hours and the issue is resolved between Him and I, yet I still worry about how others will perceive me now. Of course, part of this is due to the judgmental nature of most Christians, but even so, that should not be my main concern. I understand the fact that I should care enough about people’s opinions to the point that I won’t offend them, but when it comes to some things, other people don’t even matter, and this is one of those things. I really think that the Nicole Nordeman song, “Even Then” puts it best when it says:
“So I put aside the masquerade and admit that I am not okay,
which may not be the thing to say, but I’m not ashamed to need You more each day.”
That should be my outlook on my sins and struggles, but it is simply not. I want to give off this image of being a completely transformed person, which I am, but not to the point of perfection and I never will be. Why, then, is it so hard for me to accept that sometimes people will see my struggles and even look down on me for them, and that I shouldn’t be worried with that as much as about how God feels about my actions. Everyone has struggles and in God’s eyes all sin will send you straight to hell if you don’t give your life to Christ, so why do I and people in general tend to perceive sins as having different levels of good or okay or really extremely terribly worse than any other sin? Is it because some sins have different consequences? It could possibly be because authority figures let some “smaller” sins slide, while strictly enforcing consequences of “bigger sins.” My opinion on the subject, however, is that churches and leaders in general spend too much time giving the illusion that if you give your life to God, you will quit drinking, smoking, doing drugs, and having sex, and will never have the urge to do so again. That is completely untrue. If anything, becoming a Christian brings all of these temptations and even more to a head because Satan wants us to mess up so badly when we are following God. Yes, I am going to mess up. Yes, I will stumble and fall, but the amazing thing about being a Christian is that I can get back up and God will act as if it never even happened again. An amazing speaker at Covenant Weekend once said, “The only difference between Christians and non-Christians is this: non-Christians are sinners. Christians are sinners with conviction.” Yes, I will sin and fall short of the glory of God because we all do, but the fact that I love God will change the condition of my heart and will leave me yearning to get back on the right path toward living for the glory of God.
Hmmmm....
A few nights ago I made a mistake that I regret with all my heart. God and I talked about it for hours and the issue is resolved between Him and I, yet I still worry about how others will perceive me now. Of course, part of this is due to the judgmental nature of most Christians, but even so, that should not be my main concern. I understand the fact that I should care enough about people’s opinions to the point that I won’t offend them, but when it comes to some things, other people don’t even matter, and this is one of those things. I really think that the Nicole Nordeman song, “Even Then” puts it best when it says:
“So I put aside the masquerade and admit that I am not okay,
which may not be the thing to say, but I’m not ashamed to need You more each day.”
That should be my outlook on my sins and struggles, but it is simply not. I want to give off this image of being a completely transformed person, which I am, but not to the point of perfection and I never will be. Why, then, is it so hard for me to accept that sometimes people will see my struggles and even look down on me for them, and that I shouldn’t be worried with that as much as about how God feels about my actions. Everyone has struggles and in God’s eyes all sin will send you straight to hell if you don’t give your life to Christ, so why do I and people in general tend to perceive sins as having different levels of good or okay or really extremely terribly worse than any other sin? Is it because some sins have different consequences? It could possibly be because authority figures let some “smaller” sins slide, while strictly enforcing consequences of “bigger sins.” My opinion on the subject, however, is that churches and leaders in general spend too much time giving the illusion that if you give your life to God, you will quit drinking, smoking, doing drugs, and having sex, and will never have the urge to do so again. That is completely untrue. If anything, becoming a Christian brings all of these temptations and even more to a head because Satan wants us to mess up so badly when we are following God. Yes, I am going to mess up. Yes, I will stumble and fall, but the amazing thing about being a Christian is that I can get back up and God will act as if it never even happened again. An amazing speaker at Covenant Weekend once said, “The only difference between Christians and non-Christians is this: non-Christians are sinners. Christians are sinners with conviction.” Yes, I will sin and fall short of the glory of God because we all do, but the fact that I love God will change the condition of my heart and will leave me yearning to get back on the right path toward living for the glory of God.
Hmmmm....