life

Apr 03, 2006 01:03

life is harder than i ever imagined..and it seems mostly to be because of me.

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gblackwell April 3 2006, 22:17:45 UTC
jaimee,

i love you. i think you are a great girl with a lot of potential.

i've had a hard time the last few years struggling with this same thing. and it's just one of those things that we have to come to terms with. it's easy for us to say "God did this to me because I did this." the truth though is that we do it to ourselves. i don't think i can ever say that God brought bad things upon me, bad things happen to me because i am stupid and think i know better. and i never do.

i know that last paragraph just oozes with compassion, but it's the truth. we make our lives what they are. God doesn't say He will make all that stop as soon as we believe in Him. He says He can make it all stop if we quit being the controlling power of our lives. but you know that. it's in the doing of that last part that weget caught.

i don't know whats going on with you. i don't even feel like i've seen you since christmas. but i do know that you are a great, great person. my personal feelings are that you, and a few of my other friends, just learn in different ways. it's how i work, too. i don't learn from reading a book or hearing a story; i learn from messing up and getting kicked in the face. experiences are my classroom and i have had many experiences from which to learn. they have all made me a better person eventually but it took a lot of time.

i really do want to hang out with you. maybe we can grab coffee and talk sometime. like i said, i don't know what you're dealing with right now, but i have probably dealt with it before. if you want, i would like to help if i can.

but whatever you're thinking, you are always going to be a beautiful, wonderful, funny, kind girl that i love to spend time with. you are a great person and a good friend and i am thankful for you. i'm praying for you, jaimee. i'm not done growing up and it's not easier the longer you do it, but i can completely empathize with your frustration and hurt.

if nothing else, i can always give you a hug.

much love

garreth

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