bob the wobble clock, joseph is so weak, dr mcdilfy
My Very Cool Yet Stylishly Practical Aunt Joyce from Pittsburgh (the one who ran away to the USA to marry her non-Asian college sweetie and make infuriatingly attractive biracial babies with) got me a Brookstone wobble clock named Bob.
Words cannot express how much I adore her, and Bob.
Okay, so after checking out the site I found out she got it over 50% off at 12 Yoo Ess Dollas, so I guess she really is Practical. Sigh. But it's okay. It changes colors and wobbles!
Anyway my mom saw it, and with a glint in her eye:
MOM: so now I assume you're going to be responsible and wake up early.
JOSEPH: no, I'll just wake up with style, with Bob. ♥
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OKAY SO LIKE FOUR HOURS LATER I AM BACK because the internet connection imploded. When it came back on I literally cackled like: mweeheeheeheeHAWHAWHAWHAAWWWW with the little claw-like Disney stepmother finger action. The things that happen to someone in withdrawal.
---
It's out again, but today and last night were interesting. I had a sore throat since Friday, and a fever since Saturday, which got really bad on Sunday night with me reaching 38 degrees and shivering in bed while burning up feeling like some idiot (like myself) chewed up some glass and swallowed, and I didn't sleep at all. Satan was no help, she was all "why are you so weak?" and I was like "oh you immune bitch!"
My head was throbbing and my chest felt like molten lead. Very pleasant, if you are a furnace. And then my dad was all "get a blood test! it may be dengue! or... something else..." and I was like, "dude I do not have any goddamned STDs".
And the next day I was happy and alive again! But I went to the EENT doctor at Cardinal Santos. God I hate that hospital.
Just because it's surrounded by Rich Chinese-Dominated Gated Communities doesn't mean you have to be all Chinese, which is, bad service until you "know someone" or worse, "are someone". I had a 3 pm appointment and this fugly Chinese matrona bitch comes in and goes "huy huy me first with me son" WHO IS LIKE 40 and I was all like "girl I don't give a damn if you're old and slow, I'm young and fast and got the appointment first" and then she sits down and starts making chika with the receptionist all like "omg does the doctor have children? SCANDALOUS" or "you know it's so hard to make money these days nudge nudge how much do you make, receptionist?" and I was like "oh my god I hope I sneeze blood all over you and infect you for the rest of your life WHICH IS HOPEFULLY TWO MORE HOURS". OMG SHE WAS SUCH A BITCH.
Then it was my turn (I still hated her, and her son was just as ugly) and all was well because I stepped into Dr McDILFy's office heaven.
DR MCDILFY: aw babyboy how are you feeling?
JOSEPH: horrible :( I need a rectal now
DR MCDILFY: woo yeah let's get some KY and hit that
JOSEPH'S HOPES AND DREAMS: shatter.
DR MCDILFY: so what can I do for you?
JOSEPH: :(
Now I have medicine. And I walked home because I was independent in the face of illness. Hmm.
Words cannot express how much I adore her, and Bob.
Okay, so after checking out the site I found out she got it over 50% off at 12 Yoo Ess Dollas, so I guess she really is Practical. Sigh. But it's okay. It changes colors and wobbles!
Anyway my mom saw it, and with a glint in her eye:
MOM: so now I assume you're going to be responsible and wake up early.
JOSEPH: no, I'll just wake up with style, with Bob. ♥
---
OKAY SO LIKE FOUR HOURS LATER I AM BACK because the internet connection imploded. When it came back on I literally cackled like: mweeheeheeheeHAWHAWHAWHAAWWWW with the little claw-like Disney stepmother finger action. The things that happen to someone in withdrawal.
---
It's out again, but today and last night were interesting. I had a sore throat since Friday, and a fever since Saturday, which got really bad on Sunday night with me reaching 38 degrees and shivering in bed while burning up feeling like some idiot (like myself) chewed up some glass and swallowed, and I didn't sleep at all. Satan was no help, she was all "why are you so weak?" and I was like "oh you immune bitch!"
My head was throbbing and my chest felt like molten lead. Very pleasant, if you are a furnace. And then my dad was all "get a blood test! it may be dengue! or... something else..." and I was like, "dude I do not have any goddamned STDs".
And the next day I was happy and alive again! But I went to the EENT doctor at Cardinal Santos. God I hate that hospital.
Just because it's surrounded by Rich Chinese-Dominated Gated Communities doesn't mean you have to be all Chinese, which is, bad service until you "know someone" or worse, "are someone". I had a 3 pm appointment and this fugly Chinese matrona bitch comes in and goes "huy huy me first with me son" WHO IS LIKE 40 and I was all like "girl I don't give a damn if you're old and slow, I'm young and fast and got the appointment first" and then she sits down and starts making chika with the receptionist all like "omg does the doctor have children? SCANDALOUS" or "you know it's so hard to make money these days nudge nudge how much do you make, receptionist?" and I was like "oh my god I hope I sneeze blood all over you and infect you for the rest of your life WHICH IS HOPEFULLY TWO MORE HOURS". OMG SHE WAS SUCH A BITCH.
Then it was my turn (I still hated her, and her son was just as ugly) and all was well because I stepped into Dr McDILFy's office heaven.
DR MCDILFY: aw babyboy how are you feeling?
JOSEPH: horrible :( I need a rectal now
DR MCDILFY: woo yeah let's get some KY and hit that
JOSEPH'S HOPES AND DREAMS: shatter.
DR MCDILFY: so what can I do for you?
JOSEPH: :(
Now I have medicine. And I walked home because I was independent in the face of illness. Hmm.