how 90's of you
so here we go
another round
dont mind this black eye
just aim for the other one.
the buick is broken
the truck is broken
my credit is also broken
ha
hahahahaha.
I doubt i'll be able to get a car loan.
i need a car.
NOW.
I'm so tired it's hard to really describe it.
oh i rode the bull last night
yeah
it was what it was
and i bruised my thighs
but i didnt do too bad i guess.
i stayed on a lot longer than i expected.
it was a rush for sure.
i was so scared to fall but it turned out ok
i kinda hopped off and tucked myself up. it worked
i didnt get hurt.
and it is hard to walk on that padding in heels.
last night was something
and thats all i can really say about it.
what a freaking train wreck which i knew it would be.
by the end i could not walk and john had to carry me on his back my feet hurt so bad.
i cannot do heels for a whole day.
yet.
i only had two drinks so i had a buzz but
(thank god)
wasnt drunk
and didnt get sick.
it was pretty dead
and i wasnt really in the mood for downtown anyways
i shopped for cars with dad today and it wore me out
beat the shit out of me for some reason.
things i will not forget to
as i smoke this cigarette.
clean my bowl
change this radiohead song
clean my room
and i forgot already.
ha
this is not my fav radiohead album
but theres something about your first radiohead cd.
you forever love it.
god i wish i could go back to 19
theres something different about being 25
i feel too old for this shit
yet i really dont.
i mean whats next?
who am I suppose to be when i grow up?
or oh shit is this it?
shit
i'm 25 is this really the rest of my life.
and then i realize i am having a quarter life crises and suddenly everything makes sense.
it doesn't help that the last year of my life has probably been the hardest year of my life.
i didn't think i'd make it out. and now that it looks like i finally have a shot at fixing this
i'm so terrified I'll do it wrong again.
no one will fix your life
there is no knight and shinning armor
there is no fairy tale.
why do we feed this shit to our kids?
why don't we tell them how fucking hard life is?
or do we and they just don't hear us.
i pray my son doesn't make the mistakes i have.
and i pray that i have what it takes to show him a better life.
i don't have to live this way.
i don't have to be this way
i just need to gather up a little more strength
i have to get back in my mind set.
i can do this
this is it baby
this is the big one.
and it's meaner than the bull.
another round
dont mind this black eye
just aim for the other one.
the buick is broken
the truck is broken
my credit is also broken
ha
hahahahaha.
I doubt i'll be able to get a car loan.
i need a car.
NOW.
I'm so tired it's hard to really describe it.
oh i rode the bull last night
yeah
it was what it was
and i bruised my thighs
but i didnt do too bad i guess.
i stayed on a lot longer than i expected.
it was a rush for sure.
i was so scared to fall but it turned out ok
i kinda hopped off and tucked myself up. it worked
i didnt get hurt.
and it is hard to walk on that padding in heels.
last night was something
and thats all i can really say about it.
what a freaking train wreck which i knew it would be.
by the end i could not walk and john had to carry me on his back my feet hurt so bad.
i cannot do heels for a whole day.
yet.
i only had two drinks so i had a buzz but
(thank god)
wasnt drunk
and didnt get sick.
it was pretty dead
and i wasnt really in the mood for downtown anyways
i shopped for cars with dad today and it wore me out
beat the shit out of me for some reason.
things i will not forget to
as i smoke this cigarette.
clean my bowl
change this radiohead song
clean my room
and i forgot already.
ha
this is not my fav radiohead album
but theres something about your first radiohead cd.
you forever love it.
god i wish i could go back to 19
theres something different about being 25
i feel too old for this shit
yet i really dont.
i mean whats next?
who am I suppose to be when i grow up?
or oh shit is this it?
shit
i'm 25 is this really the rest of my life.
and then i realize i am having a quarter life crises and suddenly everything makes sense.
it doesn't help that the last year of my life has probably been the hardest year of my life.
i didn't think i'd make it out. and now that it looks like i finally have a shot at fixing this
i'm so terrified I'll do it wrong again.
no one will fix your life
there is no knight and shinning armor
there is no fairy tale.
why do we feed this shit to our kids?
why don't we tell them how fucking hard life is?
or do we and they just don't hear us.
i pray my son doesn't make the mistakes i have.
and i pray that i have what it takes to show him a better life.
i don't have to live this way.
i don't have to be this way
i just need to gather up a little more strength
i have to get back in my mind set.
i can do this
this is it baby
this is the big one.
and it's meaner than the bull.