In the year 2000...
Scientists will discover the secret ingredient in Starbucks coffee: a chemical that makes people forget they're paying four dollars for a cup of coffee.
The "Lower" will be declared the official lip of the Winter Olympics.
Dolphins will no longer perform for our amusement. Except the ones at Sea World, they'll do as their told.
Jazz will be replaced by loud slurping noises.
Jigsaw puzzles will only come in three pieces- but they will be red hot, and toxic.
Congressmen will be limited to two terms of seven minutes each.
Japan will be admitted into the union as the 51st state. The Japanese will be caught completely off guard.
Congress will pass a law making it mandatory for rivers to flow upstream. Rivers will respond with a big "screw you."
Aaron Spelling will attempt to enlighten a primitive New Guinea tribe by showing them examples of his work. He will then be eaten.
Getting up, walking to the kitchen, and opening a beer will all be Olympic events.
The moon will finally get its sweet revenge- by landing on man!
Baby seals will no longer be hunted for their fur. They'll be hunted for revenge.
Genetic engineering will give the average person a lifespan of over 100 years... and a wingspan of over nine feet.
A worldwide army of apes on horseback will be crushed by an army of horses on apeback.
Kentucky Fried Chicken will lose market share when it reveals that its new extra, extra, extra crispy recipe is made from human teeth.
All over the world, McDonalds restaurants will be sprouting up at a rate of ten per day... all by themselves.
~Conan O'Brien
The "Lower" will be declared the official lip of the Winter Olympics.
Dolphins will no longer perform for our amusement. Except the ones at Sea World, they'll do as their told.
Jazz will be replaced by loud slurping noises.
Jigsaw puzzles will only come in three pieces- but they will be red hot, and toxic.
Congressmen will be limited to two terms of seven minutes each.
Japan will be admitted into the union as the 51st state. The Japanese will be caught completely off guard.
Congress will pass a law making it mandatory for rivers to flow upstream. Rivers will respond with a big "screw you."
Aaron Spelling will attempt to enlighten a primitive New Guinea tribe by showing them examples of his work. He will then be eaten.
Getting up, walking to the kitchen, and opening a beer will all be Olympic events.
The moon will finally get its sweet revenge- by landing on man!
Baby seals will no longer be hunted for their fur. They'll be hunted for revenge.
Genetic engineering will give the average person a lifespan of over 100 years... and a wingspan of over nine feet.
A worldwide army of apes on horseback will be crushed by an army of horses on apeback.
Kentucky Fried Chicken will lose market share when it reveals that its new extra, extra, extra crispy recipe is made from human teeth.
All over the world, McDonalds restaurants will be sprouting up at a rate of ten per day... all by themselves.
~Conan O'Brien