so deep that it didnt even bleed
hello all! oh yeah got a sexy "!" thingy there am i cool or what? any. okay i am going to have a BG moment. here i go. WE ARE GOING TO REGINALS!!!! okay i'm done. that pritty cool. it's cool to see the pay off for something you and many other people have been working on for a long time. so congrads all you band people. no i am not congrading myself. i am not inclued in "band". i dont do much. all i do is carry an extra drum and make up stuff to play every once and a while, and take a nice little stroll around the field to take up space. i dont realy contribute anything. i dont realy feel part of band. most of the people in band have been there a while. i feel like an outcast. supposedly i dont understand what it means to go to state because i dont go crazy about it. i mean if we make it cool, if we dont okay. so. i' not sure if i want to be in badn next year. depends on how a few things pan out. i kinda want to play teners next year. i dont realy want to play 4th bass. it is boring as hell. most of the time when i mess up it is because i lose my place because my notes are so damn far apart. but i guess some one has to play it. some of this band stuff still doesnt make sence to me. i try to understand but i just dont get them. every one else gets them but i dont. oh well. today was pritty awesome considering how i thought it was going to be. last night was a train reck. i felt like crawling into a hole and dying but i'm still here. but even after a train reck like yesterday i still came out alright. it made me so happy to get a hug from mandi as soon as i got to school this morning. she recited (spelling?) a speech that made last night seem a little bit better. it was still a train reck but i dont feel like slitting my wrists with my guitar strings. that would be a pritty cool way to die. but any way. i love you mandi. you make me my happiest i ever am. i have a ton of chemistry homework to do tommorrow and just as much spanish III homework then i have a killer chemistry test tuesday. thats no good. oh yeah, ANNOUNCEMENT: mandi's mom is officialy on my shit list. mandi and i wanted to go with gus and josh and a bunch of other people to field of screems tonight when we got home from the contest and mandi's mom, the loving mother she is, tells mandi she cant go for a bunch of gae reasons. that is no good. i have never realy been to a real haunted thingy like that and i realy wanted to go with mandi because she realy wanted to go and i wouldnt feel very good if i went with out her after we had planned ot go together. it wouldnt be fair to her either, right? i dont know if we have a football game friday. if we dont maybe mandi and i can go to one friday night. probably not though but theres always hope. well i am out of here. later.