Thinking About Gilligan's Island
I just saw a rerun of Gilligan's Island. Hillarious show!!! I used to watch it all the time. I bet I have seen every episode at least 2 or 3 times.
Anyway, watching this episode kind of got me to thinking about the show. Since I am older now, my mind has developed and I am starting to think "Outside the Box", you know, thinking things I didn't think when I first watched Gilligan's Island as a young innocent boy.
So, I started thinking about the people on the island and how they had to go 3 or 4 years on the island, living in isolation. My adult brain started thinking "How could these people go that long on the island without having sex?" You can't tell me that 7 adults (4 men, 3 women) can spend that long on a deserted island without fornicating at least a few times. Look at the cast of Big Brother or any of the numerous other reality shows on TV today -- They can't even seem to go a half-episode without doing The Dirty. You would think that Mary Ann's wholesome cuteness would guarantee at least two or three illegitimate island-babies. And Ginger, the seductress, had to have had the opportunity to fool around.
My guess is there was a little hanky-panky going on. No normal adult could go that long without a little "fun". So if they did, how come Mary Ann or Ginger did not get pregnant (Mrs. Howell was obviously past menopause and I doubt Mr. Howell could do it since Viagara was not invented yet)? What did they use for Birth Control? They had to use something. No way you could go that long and be lucky enough to dodge the bullet that many times.
So do you think that Ginger or Mary Ann brought along birth control pills for a three-hour tour? Or did the professor have to get creative and invent a "morning-after" pill using only bamboo stalks and coconut milk? Lord knows that if anyone could do that, it would be him.
I don't know the answer to these questions, but you can bet that I'm gonna do my best, as a duty to you, my readers, to find out. I have been in touch with National Geographic and The Smithsonian in an attempt to raise money to conduct an archaeological dig on Gilligan's Island, to search for remnants of birth-control pill bottles, used condoms, etc. Thus far, I've managed to raise nothing but a few eyebrows (Jake, Coop and the operator at National Geographic...) and somewhere around 70 or 80 cents (USD). But I'm not giving up... Please contribute!!! We must solve this historical query.
Here's a few theories that I'm throwing around while I'm waiting to get some funding:
1. 5 castaways were homosexuals. Obviously, Mr and Mrs. Howell were straight, OR WERE THEY?
2. The men were all straight, but couldn't bump uglies with the girls, 'cause they were all in that "Experimental phase" that chicks seem to go through. That would explain some of the uptightness displayed by the three guys on the show.
3. The Planned Parenthood Employee Party Boat also wrecked on the island sometime late in the first season.
4. Every time someone was about to have sex, Gilligan would stumble into the picture and mess up the whole plan.
5. Mr. Howell spent the bulk of his acquired wealth having regular shipments of condoms flown in to the island. It wasn't until sometime in the late '80s that the cast realized that they should probably ask the Prophylactic Plane to give them a lift home.
6. The guys all suffered from Erectile Dysfunction and there was no Viagara, online pharmacy, etc. on the island to give them the extra "Boost" they needed.
Anyone else got any other theories? Let me know.
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Thinking About Gilligan's Island