Happy New Year, creedee! Exchange fic: "Liebesfreud"
Title: Liebesfreud
Rating: R
Genre: slice of life
Warning: rated scene somewhere. ;)
Summary: There are times when you have love right there yet you push it away... And when you realize that, it's too late and you can't have it back.
creedee's request: NC-17, typical love story at university. He thinks this guy is the one, but that guy fortunately found someone else behind this person. And karma show her self.
Author’s note: Hello! This is for creedee. Happy Holidays! I wasn’t sure how you wanted this to end so I hope this one is good enough for you. Enjoy! :)
Jung Yunho has led a fairly easy life, never needing to think about how he will please his parents. Being an only child, his mom and dad shower him with love and attention and are more than proud of his achievements. He was smart, athletic and charismatic. He is the current chairperson of their college student council, member of the soccer team, and he is also included in the upper percentile of the batch; never mind that he has a lot of admirers. His black tresses, almond eyes, bow-shaped lips, tan skin, and long-lean body makes girls and guys alike unable to resist his natural boyish charms.
But if there was one thing that Yunho cannot do, it’s to play the piano. He can play the guitar and the drums; He can even sing but no matter how much his old teachers train him, he just cannot get the hang of playing the keys in perfect harmony. All of his tutors from when he was a kid gave up. And to his utter horror, the dean of his college is asking him to play at the end of the semester. Now he is enlisting the help of his friends, Changmin and Yoochun, because he needs to find someone who will have the patience to teach his uncoordinated fingers to play a beautiful melody in 2 months.
“Hyung, I know someone who’s really great at playing the piano. His name is Kim Jaejoong and he’s from the music department. He was my classmate in Chemistry back in freshman year. He can play piano, violin, and cello. He also composes pieces. He’s practically a genius.” Yoochun said as he watched Yunho furrow his brows as he tries to think of someone to tutor him. The chairperson looks up to his friend with confused eyes.
“I guess you don’t know him if you haven’t been in a class with him, since he normally keeps to himself and his friend, Kim Junsu.” Yoochun continues as he remembers the quiet brunette who composes music like it’s nobody’s business during chemistry experiments.
Yunho only knows one Kim Junsu in their school. “As in Kim Junsu from our soccer team? He’s friends with this Jaejoong guy?” The other soccer player was all-smiles and always ready to lend a hand to anyone who needs his help. Maybe he can get Junsu to help him get Kim Jaejoong to tutor him. It was just lunch and he has Art History with Junsu for his last class later, maybe he can ask him then. Just then, Yunho’s watch starts ringing signaling the end of his lunch period. With his newfound hope, he skipped to class leaving Yoochun who was smirking at his retreating back.
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Jung Yunho was not paying attention to his class and was still thinking about how he’ll ask Junsu to help him with his dilemma. Another ringing of the bell brings him to the present and realized that most of his classmates are already out of the room and Kim Junsu is nowhere to be seen. Yunho ran out of the classroom trying to look for Junsu. But instead of finding his classmate, Yunho fell on the ground as he bumped into someone rushing toward the room they’ve just vacated. He heard a soft “I’m sorry” but didn’t get a look on who the other person was. Yunho just shrugged and went with finding Junsu.
As it was, Yunho was able to get a hold of Junsu during football practice. He didn’t hesitate telling the other football player his dilemma and it turns out that Junsu is more than willing to help. There was one condition, though.
“Hyung, I’ll ask Jaejoong-hyung to teach you how to play the keys but you need to promise me that you will do your best and will do everything that hyung wants you to do.”
“Yes! Yes. I promise to do my best and will follow all of Jaejoong’s instructions! Thank you so much, Junsu! I owe you one!”
“I’m happy to help. I’ll go ahead and inform Jae-hyung and will message you the details of your first practice tonight, okay?”
Yunho was extremely grateful and there was nothing else he can do at the moment but hug hug his kind teammate. Later that evening, Yunho received an SMS informing him that Jaejoong will meet him in the music room at the Music Department building at 4PM or after his football practice.
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Yunho was already two minutes late for his lessons and he was running towards the music room. As he got nearer, he can hear a beautiful melody coming from the room. The music was evoking a lot of emotions from him, he cannot explain it but he feels the passion, the joy in doing something that you love. He entered the room and saw a guy with raven-haired boy bent over the piano playing like it’s the only thing he’d love to do with every minute that he’s alive. Suddenly the boy stopped playing, sensing his presence.
“You’re late, Jung Yunho-ssi.” The guy said without looking at him. Yunho was embarrassed and proceeded to explain that football practice ran a little late.
“I understand, if you are only a few minutes late then it’s okay. By the way, my name is Kim Jaejoong and I will be the one helping you to play the piano.”
“Thank you for agreeing to this, Jaejoong-ssi. I would also like to apologize in advance, I’m really hopeless in playing the piano. Please be patient with me.”
“Nonsense, as long as we’ll work together I’ll have you ready for the concert in 2 months. Now, I need to know how much you know in playing the piano so we’ll know where will start.”
Yunho proceeds to explain that he already knows the piano theoretically. He knows the scale, the keys, he also knows how to read scores but he has no idea how to translate them into actions. His old music tutor gave up on him because he just can’t get the rhythm and melodies right.
“That’s great. It makes my job a whole lot easier, since you already know the basics. Take a seat here and I’ll give you a score and we’ll try to play that first, okay?” Said Jaejoong, as he stood up to give his student the chance to play and practice.
Yunho took the seat and his tutor placed a short untitled score in front of him. He took a deep breath and played the first note. He looked at Jaejoong for confirmation; he was urging him to continue. He played the next note and once again, glanced at Jaejoong for confirmation.
“Yunho-ssi, you’re doing great. You don’t have to ask for confirmation every note. Just play the keys as you know them and I’ll inform you if there is something wrong or if you made a mistake.”
Yunho took a deep breath again and played each key one at a time. When he reached the last note, he looked at Jaejoong and his tutor was smiling.
“That was great, Yunho-ssi! Now, I want you to try it again but play the notes faster and listen to the melody carefully.”
He played it again, and now he was hearing a melody little by little. But it was still slow and staccato-like. When he played the last note for the second time, Jaejoong still urged him to play the score again and again but getting faster and continuous with every try. An hour and a half later, Yunho was able to determine what he was playing.
“You were making me play Mary Had A Little Lamb the whole time and I didn’t figure it out!”
“I figured, I should make you play something easy today to get your fingers used to the keys. And…” Jaejoong was smiling. “At least now you know you’re not hopeless. As long as you keep this up, you don’t have to worry about anything.”
“I understand. I’ll work hard. Thank you so much, Jaejoong-ssi!”
“So I’ll meet you again here, tomorrow same time. Also let’s do an everyday session after classes. Also if you would like to meet u for practice on weekends, it’s also fine by me.” The tutor said as he stood up and picked up his bag and Yunho did the same.
“Alright. By the way, where do you live? I’ll drop you off. It’s the least I can do for you, you know, with teaching me and stuff…”
“Thank you, Yunho-ssi but I need to decline as I still need to drop by somewhere before going home. Drive safely and I’ll see you tomorrow.” And with that, Jaejoong left Yunho alone inside the music room. He still can’t believe that he was able to play a melody on the piano Yes, it was very simple but after years and years of feeling hopeless, he finally managed to play something. He can’t help but grin on his way home, still feeling the high of his small accomplishment. Just as Yunho was about to sleep, he received another SMS from an unknown number.
“Hi! I got your number from Junsu. Don’t crunch your knuckles, okay. Be ready for our practice session tomorrow. See you then. -Kim Jaejoong”
Yunho was really looking forward to tomorrow’s practice.
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The next day, Yunho cannot wait for the day to end so he can run towards the music room and continue his lessons with Jaejoong. So when his watch showed 3:55, he quickly made his way towards the music room.
4PM on the dot and he was already taking his seat on the piano and Jaejoong handing him a longer score to play.
“We’ll work on a longer one now, and then once you’re getting used to playing, we’ll ease into the more complicated pieces that we can learn and practice for your performance.”
“Sounds good.” Yunho said as he tried to play Mary Had A Little Lamb without the company of a music sheet.
“Okay, let’s start. Just like yesterday. Play as you read and then go faster and how it’s written on the score.”
Again, Yunho went to the process of playing each note one at a time then going faster and continuously playing it. This time, Yunho figured out that he was playing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.
“Actually, that was a Mozart piece that you played. It’s entitled Ah! Vous Dirai-Je, Maman or 12 variations of Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. I chose the easy part because I want to give you something a little more complicated because you can do it. You just need to study each piece and practice it.”
Feeling encouraged by Jaejoong’s words, Yunho asked if they can do overtime so that he can study another score. The tutor agreeing to one more hour, and he’ll teach Yunho another score. He replaced the current sheet music on the stand.
“Let’s study Beethoven’s Fur Elise. We’ll try a different method, scoot over. I want you to read the notes while I play.”
They spent the next hours studying the intricacies of Fur Elise while sharing a cramped piano chair. And this night, Yunho was able to drop Jaejoong off at his house.
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The next few days, Yunho and Jaejoong spend at least 3-4 hours practicing at the university’s music room. Yunho only has a month and a half to master a piece that he can play on the event. Their days are now filled with music sheets, melodies, cramped piano chairs and idle chat. Today is no different, and they will now select the piece that Yunho will work over the next few weeks.
“I’m going to play 3 classic but easy pieces, I want you to listen carefully and then choose one that you would like to play, okay?” Jaejoong said as he poised his fingers, and started playing three different tunes. Yunho chose the third piece, Debussy’s Claire De Lune. It was soothing, dreamlike and beautiful, but the important thing is it also sounds easy enough that he knows he can do it. And that’s what he told Jaejoong.
“Nice pick. But I want you to remember that an easy and well-known piece like this one gives you no room for error.” His tutor gave him the score for his piece.
“I know. I won’t make any. I promise.” He said as he looked thru the sheet. One can see how determined Yunho is; and Jaejoong is sure that Yunho won’t make any, he’ll make sure of it.
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Jaejoong now focuses on helping Yunho master the piece and Yunho is getting there, only making a few mistakes. He is really proud and just a little bit more polishing and Yunho will be perfect.
“Let’s stop here for now. How about we have dinner since you’ve been doing so great? My treat.” Jaejoong offered.
“I’d love that but I’ll pay for you, okay?”
“Sounds reasonable. Okay. Shall we?” Yunho led him to his car and they made their way out the university.
“So where would you like to eat, Jae?” They are now cruising their way towards the town.
“I’ve been craving ramen for a few days already. Can we do Japanese tonight?”
“Sure. No problem. I know a great place that serves killer ramen.” Ten minutes later, Yunho’s parking the car in front of an old 2-storey house. He opened Jaejoong’s door and led him towards the front door that opened as soon as they were in front of it.
“Good evening, Masters” an old man who’s in a suit greeted them.
“Good evening, Harada-san. Do you have any free tables tonight?”
“I’m sorry, our tables are full. But I can arrange something for you. Please follow me.” Yunho took Jaejoong’s hand and went after Harada-san. 5 minutes later, they’re now seated at a reserved booth at the second level of the house and Harada-san saying he’ll be back with the menu.
“Yunho! Where are we? This is ridiculous! When I said Japanese, I mean like a normal ramen shop and not this extravagant!”
“Jae, it’s okay. This is my Aunt’s place. She just converted the old house in to a restaurant.”
Harada-san came in bringing the menu. Both of them placed their orders and watched as the old man went out the room.
“So Yunho, I’m really curious, how do you know how to read scores?”
“I was doing music lessons when I was a kid. I got to learn how to play a guitar and the drums. But I never really understood how the piano works before. I had my tutors then, but I guess they gave up on me because of my poor hand-eye coordination.”
“Well that’s sad, but atleast you’re able to play Mary Had A Little Lam perfectly now.” Jaejoong felt bad that music tutors gave up on their students. “You can also go ahead and visit them so that you can show them personally.”
“I should but I will when I’ve perfected Claire De Lune. But what about you? What got you so deep in to music?”
“Well, when my dad left me and my mom, we both got a little depressed and the piano was my only companion and refuge. Whenever I played, my mom would sit on her favorite spot near the window and will encourage me to continue with my music.”
“Ohh.. I’m sorry.” Yunho regrets asking.
“It’s okay. I got over it already and it made me a stronger. Plus, It gives me enough inspiration for my music. Like if I want something happy, I think about the time we were complete but if I want something about loss or heartbreak, I go back to the day when he left us.”
“Wow. That is amazing. I wouldn’t know what to do if I were on your situation. I might’ve succumbed to the depression. You are amazing.” Jaejoong can only smile in response and Yunho finds that he really likes seeing Jaejoong smile.
Just then, the food arrives. Yunho watches as Jaejoong opened his bowl, his eyes lit up and he was soon eating his ramen. His eyes fluttered shut and he lets out a small moan after tasting the broth.
“Yunho-yah! This is sooo good! I might want a second bowl!”
That night, Yunho also found out that aside from seeing Jaejoong smile, he would also like to make sure that when Jaejoong is with him, he’ll never be sad.
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Two weeks of playing Claire De Lune in every possible moment, Yunho has already perfected the song and is more than ready to perform for his school mates. Jaejoong was really proud. Yunho may not know a lot of songs but he’s determined to show he can at least play some.
“Hey, Jae. There’s still a month before the recital and I’ve perfected Claire De Lune already. What do you say about performing a piece with me also?”
“You sound like you have a piece on your mind already.. What would you like to perform?”
“Yoochun said you can play the violin, so I’m thinking about Liebesfreud (Love’s Joy) by Fritz Kreisler.”
“I know that piece. I haven’t played it yet, though.”
“I have the score here…”
“Okay. Gimme. Let’s do this. But I’m not bringing my violin today. Let’s start practicing together tomorrow. We’ll practice the piano part first today.”
“I was actually practicing it at home. I listened to the piece and was practically obsessing over it the last week.” Yunho said as he sat on the chair and started playing the piano part for Jaejoong. Yunho was playing so good. His technique is as good as non-existent but he was playing with passion. You can feel how happy and satisfying it is when you are in love. Jaejoong is scared. He’s not sure if he can play as good as Yunho. Jaejoong will be able to perfect the piece; he just hopes he’ll be able to give the same emotions that Yunho is exuding.
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The next day, Jaejoong was mentally preparing himself and was trying to imagine how being in love feels like. However that’s just it, he was trying but he’s failing. Whenever he thinks about love, he sees how his father walked out on his mom and instead of feeling hopeful, dread is filling his heart. So when he and Yunho started playing, even he can feel how different they sound. Yunho was looking at him from time to time with curious or confused eyes.
“Jae, you feel different today. Is there something wrong?”
“No. I’m sorry. Nothing’s wrong. I just don’t feel like myself today.”
“Oh. If you want, we can skip practice today. Do something else. We can go to the park or something:.”
“I’d love that. I want to go somewhere with a lot of kids and games.”
“Okay. Let’s go to an amusement park! I haven’t been there in a long time.”
They fix their stuff and head out towards Yunho’s car, and made their way towards the amusement park.
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The amusement park was full of kids and their parents. Everyone was holding stuffed toys, cotton candies or ice cream cones. As soon as they entered, Jaejoong face lit up and was suddenly pulling Yunho’s arm to get passes. Soon they were on line to get to the rides. They went on the easy rides first, like the carousel, the Vikings, and also the train rides.
They are now buckling up on their seat on the drop tower. One can see how nervous but excited they are. Once the ride started, Jaejoong looked at Yunho just to find him smiling at him. His last coherent thought was “Yunho’s hand fits mine perfectly” before they were being propelled upwards and they were screaming their throats out.
A few more rides later, a flushed Jaejoong and an exhilarated Yunho were getting some corn dogs for snacks.
“That will be 15,000 won for 2 corndogs and 2 large sodas” Jaejoong was getting his wallet when Yunho handed the guy the money and led Jaejoong back to the benches to eat.
“Yaaaah! I could’ve paid, y’know! It’s not like I don’t have cash.”
“I know, but I wanted to pay for it. It’s okay Jaejoong, I want you to have fun and not think of anything today.” Jaejoong felt his cheeks heat up more with Yunho’s words. He punched Yunho’s shoulders. “Stupid! But thank you. I appreciate it.”
“Of course, I’m great like that. Come on! I want to play that shooting game there!”
They’re on their way home now. Jaejoong is soo embarrassed that Yunho gave him the stuffed elephant that he won from the shooting game that he played. It was rather big but cute, and Jaejoong has a soft spot for elephants so he still took it. Yunho parked in front of Jaejoong’s house. The Tutor was about to get off the car but stopped once the door was opened. He looked at Yunho, and smiled.
“Thank you again for today, Yunho. I had so much fun. Also for this elephant, I’ll take care of it.” He then jumped out of the car and ran towards his house. Yunho could only watch him with his own smile.
“Thank you also for today, Jaejoong-ah.”
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The next day, Jaejoong was more than ready to practice their piece. After yesterday, he now has an idea on how it feels to be in love. Their practice today was way better than the last. Jaejoong was proud, but he knows he needs to work on it more. SO that night, he asked Yunho if he would like to watch a movie with him at his house and Yunho easily agreed. Apparently, Jaejoong can cook and will make dinner for Yunho tonight. They dropped by a super market and Jaejoong was buying different ingredients while Yunho was pushing the cart. He was also telling Jaejoong what dishes he likes to eat.
So once Yunho was seated at the counter of Jaejoong’s kitchen, he noticed that they were alone. He can’t help but ask where Jae’s mother was. “My mom is at Japan right now. She’s working there. She only comes home every 3 months.”
“I see. Isn’t it lonely being alone here?”
“Not really. I usually compose music when I’m alone. Junsu also comes over most of the time.”
“You guys are really close, aren’t you?”
“Well yeah, I’ve known him since we were kids. He’s my best friend. We’ve been thru a lot and I can’t imagine my life without Su.”
“I’m really glad you have him. But now, you also have me. I’ll be here for you from now on. We’re friends now, right?” Jaejoong nodded and smiled in appreciation of Yunho’s words.
“Thank you but we’ve been very sappy for the last 10 minutes. How about you choose a movie that we can watch while I go and finish making dinner?”
Yunho chose a funny movie and Jaejoong made a simple dinner of bulgogi and teokkbeokki. The movie made them laugh so hard and as the night grew deeper, they did not realize how close they were seating on the couch now. It was already late when the movie finished, Jaejoong offered that Yunho stay the night but Yunho had to say no because he needs to get home to his mom.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Jaejoong-ah. Thank you for the dinner.” Yunho kissed his cheek and went out. Jaejoong was stunned but what he did not know was behind the closed door was Yunho with wide eyes who also can’t believe what he just did.
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Their practice the next day was quite awkward, both pretending that the kiss did not happen. However their duet was getting better, much better. Both have perfected the music and now they are just mastering the harmonization.
That night, Yunho dropped Jaejoong off to his house again. The tutor offered dinner again but, Yunho had to decline again because he has a Chemistry exam tomorrow and he needs to review some lectures since he’s so focused in music the past month. Jaejoong hid his disappointment and told Yunho he’ll see him tomorrow instead.
It was a good thing that Junsu came over that night. He has someone to talk to. Jaejoong was feeling confused. Yunho was making him feel weird things that he never felt before.
“Su, I want to ask you something...” He was hesitant but he needed to know. “How does it feel to be inlove?” Junsu blushed at his question.
“ I’m not really sure, hyung. But I heard that you’ll feel your heart race, your stomach squish, and you’ll want to see the other person immediately when you’re not together. You look forward to each text message or each call. And when you guys are together, you’ll feel like you don’t need anything else because you have him already.”
“I see.”
“Why do you ask, hyung?”
“Oh, nothing. It’s just because I’m performing a piece with Yunho and I need help in translating the emotions of the song. It’s called Love’s Joy, Yunho has no problems playing it with passion and emotion, while I can only play it with the perfect technique but my emotions are lacking.”
“I know there’s more, hyung. Spill.” Junsu said, seeing right thru his omission.
“Do you know if Yunho’s been in a relationship before?”
“Ahhhh. There it is. Nope, or there’s none that I know of. I’m not even sure if he’s into girls or guys. Why did something happen?”
“Well, we’ve gotten really close over the last few days. We’ve had dinners and we went to an amusement park, we even watched a movie here last night. I’m not really sure. I’m confused. I feel different when I’m with him. It’s not like how you described it. It’s more like when I’m with him, everything seems fine and like I don’t have to be scared or I don’t have to be strong because he’s right there; absorbing all the fear. He also makes me feel so comfortable that I don’t realize I’m already spilling my secrets, he makes each conversation really interesting and he listens to everything I say. And just today, I offered to make him dinner but he can’t because he has an exam tomorrow and I’m so disappointed.”
“Oh, hyung. You like him already. I know that Yunho’s a great person and he won’t hurt you intentionally.”
“I know, but he can still hurt me. I don’t want to hurt again, Su. I don’t want to feel what my mom felt when my dad left her.”
“I know, hyung. But there is also a chance that Yunho will not be like him. And you wouldn’t know that if you won’t give it a shot.”
“Yes and I don’t want to be scared anymore, Su.”
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Two days later, while Yunho and Jaejoong were practicing, they received an invite from Junsu for a party that night at a newly opened club in their area. So that night after rehearsals, they decided to go home on their own to freshen up before meeting up in front of the club.
Yunho arrived wearing a white shirt, black jeans, black leather jacket and shoes. He’s waiting for Jaejoong in front of the club entrance. He saw Jaejoong approach him. He was wearing a simple gray knitted pull-over with a black vest over it, white skinny jeans, and black boots.
“Hey. You look really good tonight.” Yunho said as he led Jaejoong inside the club.
“Thanks. You look really good too.”
“Hyung! Yunho! Over here!” They saw Junsu waving them over to their table, and made their way over. “I got you guys drinks, already.” They saw a guy making his way towards Jaejoong.
“Jaejoong?”
“Hyunjoong?” Jae was suddenly inside the man’s arms.
“I missed you, Joongie! I didn’t expect to see you here! Come on, let’s dance!” Hyunjoong said as he pulled Jaejoong towards the dance floor. Jaejoong can only look at Yunho for help. Yunho glared at that Hyunjoong guy that took Jaejoong away.
“Yunho, if looks could kill, Hyunjoong would be double dead by now.” Junsu said as they watch Hyunjoong dance with an obviously uncomfortable Jaejoong. “Please go and save Jaejoong. He looks so pathetic there.” Yunho nodded, downed his drink and made his way towards Jaejoong and Hyunjoong.
“May I cut in?” Yunho asked as he looked at Hyunjoong directly; The other guy had no choice but to release Jaejoong and leave. Yuunho then pulled Jaejoong close and started dancing with him instead.
“Thank you for saving me, Yun. That was the most awkward moment of my life.”
“Who was that guy, if I may ask?”
“He was my suitor way back in high school. I turned him down a lot of times but it seems like he never got the message.” Jaejoong said as he pouted. Yunho laughed and pulled Jaejoong closer to him. Jaejoong smiled and rested his head on Yunho’s shoulders. Suddenly a slow song that was currently popular played. They continued dancing until the song finished, a new hip hop song by Big Bang played, so Yunho led them back towards the table.
Yunho and Jaejoong ordered another round of drinks each for everyone. A few hours later, a tipsy Yunho and Jaejoong went out of the club. Since Jaejoong’s house is only a few blocks away, he offered that Yunho just stay over since it’s dangerous to drive in such a state. They walked towards Jaejoong’s house. However due to their drunken state, they tripped over the door of Jaejoong’s house. Yunho landed on top of Jaejoong. Jaejoong can feel all of Yunho’s hard body and when he looked directly at Yunho, he saw that his face was slowly inching towards his. Suddenly he felt soft lips over his, he gasped when he felt soft licks on his lips. Yunho kissed him deeper, exploring his mouth and tasting the sweetness within.
Yunho pulled back and Jaejoong was gasping for breath when he felt Yunho’s lips on his neck, licking and sucking on the pale column. Jaejoong can’t hold back the whimpers and moans, he turned his neck to the side to give Yunho more room. Yunho groaned at Jaejoong’s antics, he kissed him again and pressed his body against Jaejoong. He can feel Jaejoong’s body and he want to feel it without any thing in between them. Pulled away from the other for a while so that he can remove their shirts, once they’re off, he can’t help but admire how Jaejoong looks under him. Yunho started to kiss the tutors pale chest. He kissed the pebbled nipples, licked around it and then suckled on it.
Jaejoong can’t explain the feeling. It’s too much. He wants to push Yunho away but he doesn’t want him to stop. He pulled him closer, his hands running thru the other’s hair. He wrapped his legs around Yunho’s waist.
Yunho kissed down further inching towards his pants. He started to undo the skin tight pants and pulled it off together with the boxers. Jaejoong’s cock was hard, not too long and thick. It was perfect. Yunho started to stroke it while kissing the insides of Jaejoong’s thighs. This time, Jaejoong was not trying to keep his moans any longer. He wanted Yunho to hear how much pleasure he is receiving from him. Suddenly Jaejoong felt a soft heat envelope his cock, he looked down to see that Yunho was now taking him whole inside his mouth. Each suck and lick was taking him to heaven. He just can’t imagine feeling any more pleasure than this.
“Yunhoo. Please.. I’m gonna come..” Yunho suddenly pulled off. Jaejoong can’t help but whine at the loss. Yunho picked him up and brought him towards his room. He gently laid Jaejoong on the bed, when he tried to pull back, Jaejoong wasn’t letting him. Instead he got a deep kiss from the other one, Yunho can’t say no to Jaejoong’s kisses. He was growing addicted to it. Suddenly he felt Jaejoong undoing his pants.
“Are you sure about this? I won’t be able to stop.” Yunho asked as Jaejoong was pushing his pants off.
“I’m sure. I can’t stop either. I want to feel you inside me.” Both of them can’t hold back their groan when Jaejoong started to stroke Yunho’s cock.
“Do you have lube?”
”I don’t, but I have lotion inside the drawer there.” Yunho managed to pull away this time to get the lube. He coated his fingers with lotion and entered one into Jaejoong’s hole. A few thrusts later, he was pushing another finger through. He was scissoring his fingers to get Jaejoong to loosen up. Jae was moaning in pleasure. It didn’t hurt that much. But it was really uncomfortable at first, but as he got used to it, he can’t help but feel the pleasure budding inside him. When Yunho entered the third digit, Jae felt really full and was more than ready to take Yunho’s cock.
“Yunho, now. I’m ready. Please. I need you.” Jaejoong was already slick with sweat, his hair mussed up, eyes hooded with lust and his lips moist with spit. Yunho really can’t no to that. He let Jaejoong cover his cock with lotion, he then lined his cock with Jaejoong’s hole. And one last look of reassurance, he slid his cock in one sharp thrust, Jaejoong screamed in pain. It was different from moments ago. He felt so full, Yunho stopped moving, getting Jaejoong used to having him inside.
It was tight, nothing like he’s felt before. Being inside Jaejoong is like feeling heaven on earth. He kissed Jaejoong deeply letting him feel comfort and assurance that he will make everything better in a little while. Once he felt that Jaejoong was a little more relaxed. He tried to pull out a little and thrust back in, when Jaejoong moaned, he knew he can move. He slowly pulled back and thrust back in and with every moan that Jaejoong lets out, Yunho’s thrust grow faster and harder.
Jaejoong was in ecstasy. He can’t believe that he’s feeling this much pleasure and he knows that he won’t last long. He wanted to tell Yunho but then Yunho’s cock was hitting a spot inside him that made him see stars and then suddenly, he was coming.
Yunho has never seen anything as beautiful as Jaejoong coming. His head thrown back, mouth open in a silent scream of pleasure and his ass milking his cock for all that its worth. A few more sharp thrusts and Yunho was releasing his seed inside Jaejoong. The force of his orgasm took out all his strength and he fell on top of Jaejoong for the second time that night.
Jaejoong was stroking Yunho’s hair. He loves how loved he feel tonight. He can’t believe that he made love with Yunho. And with the adrenaline still rushing thru his body, he felt like he needed to tell Yunho how he feels.
“I like you, Yunho. I really really like you.” Jaejoong whispered. He felt Yunho stiffen. Yunho pulled back to look directly in his eyes. But what he found there was not something he expected.
“Jaejoong... About that. You know I care for you, but I’m sorry. I don’t like you that way. You’re my friend, but that’s it...”
“But tonight...”
“Tonight was a mistake. I shouldn’t have let my lust take over. We were both drunk. It was a poor sense of judgement on my end. I’m really sorry. I hope you won’t feel like I took advantage of you.”
Yunho watched as Jaejoong’s eyes water. He wanted to take back what he said but he can’t. The damage has been done.
“I understand. Please leave.” Jaejoong croaked out as he tried to push Yunho away. Yunho tried to hug him but Jaejoong was resisting. “Don’t touch me you jerk. Leave me alone.” Yunho gave up and decided to leave Jaejoong alone for tonight. He’ll ask for forgiveness tomorrow.
Jaejoong turned his back on him and curled up in the middle of the bed. He went to the bed again and pulled the covers over Jaejoong’s naked form. “I’m really sorry, Jae.” Yunho whispered before he left.
***********************************************************************************
The next day, Yunho was bringing flowers, but he didn’t see Jaejoong inside the music room. Instead he was greeted by an extremely furious Junsu.
“HOW DARE YOU, YUNHO!” Be felt the punch before he saw it coming. Yunho stumbled back.
“Jaejoong says that he doesn’t want to see you anymore, but he’s not unprofessional so he will still perform with you in two weeks but he would appreciate it if you’ll never show your face to him ever again except during that performance.” Yunho’s eyes widened, he cannot not see Jaejoong anymore.
“But why..?”
“You ask why? You fucking broke his heart. He was really fucking scared that you’ll break his heart, and you did. I shouldn’t have encouraged him. I guess I placed my trust in the wrong person.” Yunho dropped his head, unable to respond to Junsu’s accusations.
“You make sure that you master your piece because I don’t want you to embarrass Jaejoong any further.” With that final statement, Junsu left the room.
The next days were hell for Yunho, he can’t play anymore because everytime he plays, he sees how betrayed Jaejoong was when he rejected him. He realized that Jaejoong made him really happy and not having him anymore was a direct blow to his heart. He thought that he only cared for Jaejoong as a friend, wanting to protect him because of what happened to him before.
He also sees Jaejoong at the university, their eyes will meet but Jaejoong will look away after a second. Jaejoong now pretends that Yunho doesn’t exist. It hurts Yunho. He wonders if this is how Jaejoong felt when that night. But what hurts more is when he sees Jaejoong going out with Hyungjoon. He heard a rumor that Hyunjoong was pursuing Jaejoong again now that he’s found him. Yunho’s jealous. There was a time when it was only him that Jaejoong spends his time with. Now he’s with Hyungjoon, and Yunho doesn’t like it one bit.
But he knows that it’s his fault that Jaejoong was now gone. He rejected him when things could’ve ended differently had he chosen to accept Jaejoong’s feeling. He now knows that you never really understand what you have until it’s gone. Now that Jaejoong is pout of his reach, he knows he needs him more than ever. He now needs to think of a way to get Jaejoong to forgive him and take him back. He only has one shot on this and that will be on the recital. He has plan and he needs to make it work.
***********************************************************************************
On the day of the performance, Yunho’s solo performance as the first on the list, he was nervous. He needs to make sure he won’t screw this up. When his name was called, he took his position on the piano. He looked at the audience before he started, He saw Jaejoong on the front row seats, looking at him, his expression unreadable. Beside Jaejoong was Hyunjoong, accompanying him. Seeing them together gave Yunho the determination to make sure that he’ll pull through this. He started playing the piece he and Jaejoong practiced first for weeks, he wants to make Jaejoong proud and he needs to ensure that he won’t make any mistake.
Jaejoong was watching Yunho play, and like everything he does, this was perfect. He feels like he is transported to very beautiful garden where all is right in the world and where love and happiness are overflowing. Yunho never fails to make him feel and despite the hurt, he feels proud that Yunho can play this good just after 1 ½ months of practicing under him. With all these thoughts, Jaejoong did not notice that Yunho transitioned from Clair De Lune to the song that they danced to in the club that night. He only noticed it when Yunho’s deep voice reached him.
When your legs don't work like they used to before
And I can't sweep you off of your feet
Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love
Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks
And darling I will be loving you 'til we're 70
And baby my heart could still fall as hard at 23
And I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways
Maybe just the touch of a hand
Oh me I fall in love with you every single day
And I just wanna tell you I am
He looked at Yunho and saw that he was looking directly at him. Jaejoong did not know what to feel and how to react so he just continued to watch Yunho.
So honey now
Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Place your head on my beating heart
I'm thinking out loud
Maybe we found love right where we are
When my hair's all but gone and my memory fades
And the crowds don't remember my name
When my hands don't play the strings the same way, mm
I know you will still love me the same
'Cause honey your soul can never grow old, it's evergreen
Baby your smile's forever in my mind and memory
I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways
Maybe it's all part of a plan
I'll just keep on making the same mistakes
Hoping that you'll understand
But baby now
Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Place your head on my beating heart
I'm thinking out loud
That maybe we found love right where we are, oh
So baby now
Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Oh darling, place your head on my beating heart
I'm thinking out loud
That maybe we found love right where we are
Oh maybe we found love right where we are
And we found love right where we are
When the last note was played, everyone was clapping and hooting at Yunho. But the pianist was only looking at his tutor. He mouthed “I’m really sorry, Jaejoong.” Jaejoong can only shake his head and smile at that idiot as he made his way towards the stage for their performance.
This time, Jaejoong stood on the other side of the piano so that they can see each other. And on three, they started playing Love’s Joy. Jaejoong remembered all those times that Yunho made him happy and even after the rejection; he still knows that deep down he still likes Yunho. This time, he lets the happiness of being able to spend time with someone special to him wash over him and translate to his music. Unbeknownst to him, Yunho was also doing the same thing as he played his part, his eyes never leaving the beautiful form of the person he likes but lost. They played with a passion that made everyone feel how happy they felt being with each other. Once their performance ended, everyone was standing and clapping. It was the best feeling to be able to share how you are feeling with a lot of people and them appreciating you. Hand in hand, they bowed to their audience and left the stage together.
Once they got off stage, everything was awkward. Jaejoong was the one who broke the silence. “You were great today, Yunho. I’m proud of you...” Yunho was only looking at him. “Well, I should be going now, Hyunjoong is waiting for me.” Jaejoong turn around and started making his way towards the door.
“Jaejoong, wait! I’m sorry! I really like you! I’m sorry I did not realize it any sooner. Everything was new to me. I was never afraid of love but I also did not know how it felt. I thought I only like you as a friend and nothing more. I also did not want to jeopardize what we have because what if I don’t feel the same? But when I wasn’t seeing you anymore, I felt like there was big hole in my chest. And then I realized that I left my heart with you that night when I walked out your door. And then Junsu told me you were scared that I’m going to hurt you, it was like a slap to my face because I was the one who is scared. I didn’t want to lose you, but I did anyway. So now, I just want you to know that I really do love you and I hope you’ll give me another chance to prove it to you.” By the end of Yunho’s speech, Jaejoong was near tears.
“Yunho, you don’t know how happy that makes me feel. But I can’t trust you with my heart right now. Please know that I want to, but I really can’t this time. If only you realized it sooner we wouldn’t have to go through this. So, Yunho, thank you for being honest. Know that I still like you, tremendously, but I just can’t do this right now. I’m sorry.”
“Jae...”
“Maybe somewhere in the future if you still want me, then maybe...” Jaejoong hugged Yunho tightly, “Please wait for me, I just need to mend my heart back and once it’s whole again, I will be ready and then we can try again. Okay?” Jaejoong smiled and gave Yunho a short but hard kiss before he left him. Yunho grinned as he watched Jaejoong leave because he knows he’ll come back and they’ll be together again soon.
“Okay, Jae. Okay.”
Rating: R
Genre: slice of life
Warning: rated scene somewhere. ;)
Summary: There are times when you have love right there yet you push it away... And when you realize that, it's too late and you can't have it back.
creedee's request: NC-17, typical love story at university. He thinks this guy is the one, but that guy fortunately found someone else behind this person. And karma show her self.
Author’s note: Hello! This is for creedee. Happy Holidays! I wasn’t sure how you wanted this to end so I hope this one is good enough for you. Enjoy! :)
Jung Yunho has led a fairly easy life, never needing to think about how he will please his parents. Being an only child, his mom and dad shower him with love and attention and are more than proud of his achievements. He was smart, athletic and charismatic. He is the current chairperson of their college student council, member of the soccer team, and he is also included in the upper percentile of the batch; never mind that he has a lot of admirers. His black tresses, almond eyes, bow-shaped lips, tan skin, and long-lean body makes girls and guys alike unable to resist his natural boyish charms.
But if there was one thing that Yunho cannot do, it’s to play the piano. He can play the guitar and the drums; He can even sing but no matter how much his old teachers train him, he just cannot get the hang of playing the keys in perfect harmony. All of his tutors from when he was a kid gave up. And to his utter horror, the dean of his college is asking him to play at the end of the semester. Now he is enlisting the help of his friends, Changmin and Yoochun, because he needs to find someone who will have the patience to teach his uncoordinated fingers to play a beautiful melody in 2 months.
“Hyung, I know someone who’s really great at playing the piano. His name is Kim Jaejoong and he’s from the music department. He was my classmate in Chemistry back in freshman year. He can play piano, violin, and cello. He also composes pieces. He’s practically a genius.” Yoochun said as he watched Yunho furrow his brows as he tries to think of someone to tutor him. The chairperson looks up to his friend with confused eyes.
“I guess you don’t know him if you haven’t been in a class with him, since he normally keeps to himself and his friend, Kim Junsu.” Yoochun continues as he remembers the quiet brunette who composes music like it’s nobody’s business during chemistry experiments.
Yunho only knows one Kim Junsu in their school. “As in Kim Junsu from our soccer team? He’s friends with this Jaejoong guy?” The other soccer player was all-smiles and always ready to lend a hand to anyone who needs his help. Maybe he can get Junsu to help him get Kim Jaejoong to tutor him. It was just lunch and he has Art History with Junsu for his last class later, maybe he can ask him then. Just then, Yunho’s watch starts ringing signaling the end of his lunch period. With his newfound hope, he skipped to class leaving Yoochun who was smirking at his retreating back.
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Jung Yunho was not paying attention to his class and was still thinking about how he’ll ask Junsu to help him with his dilemma. Another ringing of the bell brings him to the present and realized that most of his classmates are already out of the room and Kim Junsu is nowhere to be seen. Yunho ran out of the classroom trying to look for Junsu. But instead of finding his classmate, Yunho fell on the ground as he bumped into someone rushing toward the room they’ve just vacated. He heard a soft “I’m sorry” but didn’t get a look on who the other person was. Yunho just shrugged and went with finding Junsu.
As it was, Yunho was able to get a hold of Junsu during football practice. He didn’t hesitate telling the other football player his dilemma and it turns out that Junsu is more than willing to help. There was one condition, though.
“Hyung, I’ll ask Jaejoong-hyung to teach you how to play the keys but you need to promise me that you will do your best and will do everything that hyung wants you to do.”
“Yes! Yes. I promise to do my best and will follow all of Jaejoong’s instructions! Thank you so much, Junsu! I owe you one!”
“I’m happy to help. I’ll go ahead and inform Jae-hyung and will message you the details of your first practice tonight, okay?”
Yunho was extremely grateful and there was nothing else he can do at the moment but hug hug his kind teammate. Later that evening, Yunho received an SMS informing him that Jaejoong will meet him in the music room at the Music Department building at 4PM or after his football practice.
*************************************************************************
Yunho was already two minutes late for his lessons and he was running towards the music room. As he got nearer, he can hear a beautiful melody coming from the room. The music was evoking a lot of emotions from him, he cannot explain it but he feels the passion, the joy in doing something that you love. He entered the room and saw a guy with raven-haired boy bent over the piano playing like it’s the only thing he’d love to do with every minute that he’s alive. Suddenly the boy stopped playing, sensing his presence.
“You’re late, Jung Yunho-ssi.” The guy said without looking at him. Yunho was embarrassed and proceeded to explain that football practice ran a little late.
“I understand, if you are only a few minutes late then it’s okay. By the way, my name is Kim Jaejoong and I will be the one helping you to play the piano.”
“Thank you for agreeing to this, Jaejoong-ssi. I would also like to apologize in advance, I’m really hopeless in playing the piano. Please be patient with me.”
“Nonsense, as long as we’ll work together I’ll have you ready for the concert in 2 months. Now, I need to know how much you know in playing the piano so we’ll know where will start.”
Yunho proceeds to explain that he already knows the piano theoretically. He knows the scale, the keys, he also knows how to read scores but he has no idea how to translate them into actions. His old music tutor gave up on him because he just can’t get the rhythm and melodies right.
“That’s great. It makes my job a whole lot easier, since you already know the basics. Take a seat here and I’ll give you a score and we’ll try to play that first, okay?” Said Jaejoong, as he stood up to give his student the chance to play and practice.
Yunho took the seat and his tutor placed a short untitled score in front of him. He took a deep breath and played the first note. He looked at Jaejoong for confirmation; he was urging him to continue. He played the next note and once again, glanced at Jaejoong for confirmation.
“Yunho-ssi, you’re doing great. You don’t have to ask for confirmation every note. Just play the keys as you know them and I’ll inform you if there is something wrong or if you made a mistake.”
Yunho took a deep breath again and played each key one at a time. When he reached the last note, he looked at Jaejoong and his tutor was smiling.
“That was great, Yunho-ssi! Now, I want you to try it again but play the notes faster and listen to the melody carefully.”
He played it again, and now he was hearing a melody little by little. But it was still slow and staccato-like. When he played the last note for the second time, Jaejoong still urged him to play the score again and again but getting faster and continuous with every try. An hour and a half later, Yunho was able to determine what he was playing.
“You were making me play Mary Had A Little Lamb the whole time and I didn’t figure it out!”
“I figured, I should make you play something easy today to get your fingers used to the keys. And…” Jaejoong was smiling. “At least now you know you’re not hopeless. As long as you keep this up, you don’t have to worry about anything.”
“I understand. I’ll work hard. Thank you so much, Jaejoong-ssi!”
“So I’ll meet you again here, tomorrow same time. Also let’s do an everyday session after classes. Also if you would like to meet u for practice on weekends, it’s also fine by me.” The tutor said as he stood up and picked up his bag and Yunho did the same.
“Alright. By the way, where do you live? I’ll drop you off. It’s the least I can do for you, you know, with teaching me and stuff…”
“Thank you, Yunho-ssi but I need to decline as I still need to drop by somewhere before going home. Drive safely and I’ll see you tomorrow.” And with that, Jaejoong left Yunho alone inside the music room. He still can’t believe that he was able to play a melody on the piano Yes, it was very simple but after years and years of feeling hopeless, he finally managed to play something. He can’t help but grin on his way home, still feeling the high of his small accomplishment. Just as Yunho was about to sleep, he received another SMS from an unknown number.
“Hi! I got your number from Junsu. Don’t crunch your knuckles, okay. Be ready for our practice session tomorrow. See you then. -Kim Jaejoong”
Yunho was really looking forward to tomorrow’s practice.
*************************************************************************
The next day, Yunho cannot wait for the day to end so he can run towards the music room and continue his lessons with Jaejoong. So when his watch showed 3:55, he quickly made his way towards the music room.
4PM on the dot and he was already taking his seat on the piano and Jaejoong handing him a longer score to play.
“We’ll work on a longer one now, and then once you’re getting used to playing, we’ll ease into the more complicated pieces that we can learn and practice for your performance.”
“Sounds good.” Yunho said as he tried to play Mary Had A Little Lamb without the company of a music sheet.
“Okay, let’s start. Just like yesterday. Play as you read and then go faster and how it’s written on the score.”
Again, Yunho went to the process of playing each note one at a time then going faster and continuously playing it. This time, Yunho figured out that he was playing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.
“Actually, that was a Mozart piece that you played. It’s entitled Ah! Vous Dirai-Je, Maman or 12 variations of Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. I chose the easy part because I want to give you something a little more complicated because you can do it. You just need to study each piece and practice it.”
Feeling encouraged by Jaejoong’s words, Yunho asked if they can do overtime so that he can study another score. The tutor agreeing to one more hour, and he’ll teach Yunho another score. He replaced the current sheet music on the stand.
“Let’s study Beethoven’s Fur Elise. We’ll try a different method, scoot over. I want you to read the notes while I play.”
They spent the next hours studying the intricacies of Fur Elise while sharing a cramped piano chair. And this night, Yunho was able to drop Jaejoong off at his house.
*************************************************************************
The next few days, Yunho and Jaejoong spend at least 3-4 hours practicing at the university’s music room. Yunho only has a month and a half to master a piece that he can play on the event. Their days are now filled with music sheets, melodies, cramped piano chairs and idle chat. Today is no different, and they will now select the piece that Yunho will work over the next few weeks.
“I’m going to play 3 classic but easy pieces, I want you to listen carefully and then choose one that you would like to play, okay?” Jaejoong said as he poised his fingers, and started playing three different tunes. Yunho chose the third piece, Debussy’s Claire De Lune. It was soothing, dreamlike and beautiful, but the important thing is it also sounds easy enough that he knows he can do it. And that’s what he told Jaejoong.
“Nice pick. But I want you to remember that an easy and well-known piece like this one gives you no room for error.” His tutor gave him the score for his piece.
“I know. I won’t make any. I promise.” He said as he looked thru the sheet. One can see how determined Yunho is; and Jaejoong is sure that Yunho won’t make any, he’ll make sure of it.
*************************************************************************
Jaejoong now focuses on helping Yunho master the piece and Yunho is getting there, only making a few mistakes. He is really proud and just a little bit more polishing and Yunho will be perfect.
“Let’s stop here for now. How about we have dinner since you’ve been doing so great? My treat.” Jaejoong offered.
“I’d love that but I’ll pay for you, okay?”
“Sounds reasonable. Okay. Shall we?” Yunho led him to his car and they made their way out the university.
“So where would you like to eat, Jae?” They are now cruising their way towards the town.
“I’ve been craving ramen for a few days already. Can we do Japanese tonight?”
“Sure. No problem. I know a great place that serves killer ramen.” Ten minutes later, Yunho’s parking the car in front of an old 2-storey house. He opened Jaejoong’s door and led him towards the front door that opened as soon as they were in front of it.
“Good evening, Masters” an old man who’s in a suit greeted them.
“Good evening, Harada-san. Do you have any free tables tonight?”
“I’m sorry, our tables are full. But I can arrange something for you. Please follow me.” Yunho took Jaejoong’s hand and went after Harada-san. 5 minutes later, they’re now seated at a reserved booth at the second level of the house and Harada-san saying he’ll be back with the menu.
“Yunho! Where are we? This is ridiculous! When I said Japanese, I mean like a normal ramen shop and not this extravagant!”
“Jae, it’s okay. This is my Aunt’s place. She just converted the old house in to a restaurant.”
Harada-san came in bringing the menu. Both of them placed their orders and watched as the old man went out the room.
“So Yunho, I’m really curious, how do you know how to read scores?”
“I was doing music lessons when I was a kid. I got to learn how to play a guitar and the drums. But I never really understood how the piano works before. I had my tutors then, but I guess they gave up on me because of my poor hand-eye coordination.”
“Well that’s sad, but atleast you’re able to play Mary Had A Little Lam perfectly now.” Jaejoong felt bad that music tutors gave up on their students. “You can also go ahead and visit them so that you can show them personally.”
“I should but I will when I’ve perfected Claire De Lune. But what about you? What got you so deep in to music?”
“Well, when my dad left me and my mom, we both got a little depressed and the piano was my only companion and refuge. Whenever I played, my mom would sit on her favorite spot near the window and will encourage me to continue with my music.”
“Ohh.. I’m sorry.” Yunho regrets asking.
“It’s okay. I got over it already and it made me a stronger. Plus, It gives me enough inspiration for my music. Like if I want something happy, I think about the time we were complete but if I want something about loss or heartbreak, I go back to the day when he left us.”
“Wow. That is amazing. I wouldn’t know what to do if I were on your situation. I might’ve succumbed to the depression. You are amazing.” Jaejoong can only smile in response and Yunho finds that he really likes seeing Jaejoong smile.
Just then, the food arrives. Yunho watches as Jaejoong opened his bowl, his eyes lit up and he was soon eating his ramen. His eyes fluttered shut and he lets out a small moan after tasting the broth.
“Yunho-yah! This is sooo good! I might want a second bowl!”
That night, Yunho also found out that aside from seeing Jaejoong smile, he would also like to make sure that when Jaejoong is with him, he’ll never be sad.
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Two weeks of playing Claire De Lune in every possible moment, Yunho has already perfected the song and is more than ready to perform for his school mates. Jaejoong was really proud. Yunho may not know a lot of songs but he’s determined to show he can at least play some.
“Hey, Jae. There’s still a month before the recital and I’ve perfected Claire De Lune already. What do you say about performing a piece with me also?”
“You sound like you have a piece on your mind already.. What would you like to perform?”
“Yoochun said you can play the violin, so I’m thinking about Liebesfreud (Love’s Joy) by Fritz Kreisler.”
“I know that piece. I haven’t played it yet, though.”
“I have the score here…”
“Okay. Gimme. Let’s do this. But I’m not bringing my violin today. Let’s start practicing together tomorrow. We’ll practice the piano part first today.”
“I was actually practicing it at home. I listened to the piece and was practically obsessing over it the last week.” Yunho said as he sat on the chair and started playing the piano part for Jaejoong. Yunho was playing so good. His technique is as good as non-existent but he was playing with passion. You can feel how happy and satisfying it is when you are in love. Jaejoong is scared. He’s not sure if he can play as good as Yunho. Jaejoong will be able to perfect the piece; he just hopes he’ll be able to give the same emotions that Yunho is exuding.
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The next day, Jaejoong was mentally preparing himself and was trying to imagine how being in love feels like. However that’s just it, he was trying but he’s failing. Whenever he thinks about love, he sees how his father walked out on his mom and instead of feeling hopeful, dread is filling his heart. So when he and Yunho started playing, even he can feel how different they sound. Yunho was looking at him from time to time with curious or confused eyes.
“Jae, you feel different today. Is there something wrong?”
“No. I’m sorry. Nothing’s wrong. I just don’t feel like myself today.”
“Oh. If you want, we can skip practice today. Do something else. We can go to the park or something:.”
“I’d love that. I want to go somewhere with a lot of kids and games.”
“Okay. Let’s go to an amusement park! I haven’t been there in a long time.”
They fix their stuff and head out towards Yunho’s car, and made their way towards the amusement park.
***********************************************************************************
The amusement park was full of kids and their parents. Everyone was holding stuffed toys, cotton candies or ice cream cones. As soon as they entered, Jaejoong face lit up and was suddenly pulling Yunho’s arm to get passes. Soon they were on line to get to the rides. They went on the easy rides first, like the carousel, the Vikings, and also the train rides.
They are now buckling up on their seat on the drop tower. One can see how nervous but excited they are. Once the ride started, Jaejoong looked at Yunho just to find him smiling at him. His last coherent thought was “Yunho’s hand fits mine perfectly” before they were being propelled upwards and they were screaming their throats out.
A few more rides later, a flushed Jaejoong and an exhilarated Yunho were getting some corn dogs for snacks.
“That will be 15,000 won for 2 corndogs and 2 large sodas” Jaejoong was getting his wallet when Yunho handed the guy the money and led Jaejoong back to the benches to eat.
“Yaaaah! I could’ve paid, y’know! It’s not like I don’t have cash.”
“I know, but I wanted to pay for it. It’s okay Jaejoong, I want you to have fun and not think of anything today.” Jaejoong felt his cheeks heat up more with Yunho’s words. He punched Yunho’s shoulders. “Stupid! But thank you. I appreciate it.”
“Of course, I’m great like that. Come on! I want to play that shooting game there!”
They’re on their way home now. Jaejoong is soo embarrassed that Yunho gave him the stuffed elephant that he won from the shooting game that he played. It was rather big but cute, and Jaejoong has a soft spot for elephants so he still took it. Yunho parked in front of Jaejoong’s house. The Tutor was about to get off the car but stopped once the door was opened. He looked at Yunho, and smiled.
“Thank you again for today, Yunho. I had so much fun. Also for this elephant, I’ll take care of it.” He then jumped out of the car and ran towards his house. Yunho could only watch him with his own smile.
“Thank you also for today, Jaejoong-ah.”
***********************************************************************************
The next day, Jaejoong was more than ready to practice their piece. After yesterday, he now has an idea on how it feels to be in love. Their practice today was way better than the last. Jaejoong was proud, but he knows he needs to work on it more. SO that night, he asked Yunho if he would like to watch a movie with him at his house and Yunho easily agreed. Apparently, Jaejoong can cook and will make dinner for Yunho tonight. They dropped by a super market and Jaejoong was buying different ingredients while Yunho was pushing the cart. He was also telling Jaejoong what dishes he likes to eat.
So once Yunho was seated at the counter of Jaejoong’s kitchen, he noticed that they were alone. He can’t help but ask where Jae’s mother was. “My mom is at Japan right now. She’s working there. She only comes home every 3 months.”
“I see. Isn’t it lonely being alone here?”
“Not really. I usually compose music when I’m alone. Junsu also comes over most of the time.”
“You guys are really close, aren’t you?”
“Well yeah, I’ve known him since we were kids. He’s my best friend. We’ve been thru a lot and I can’t imagine my life without Su.”
“I’m really glad you have him. But now, you also have me. I’ll be here for you from now on. We’re friends now, right?” Jaejoong nodded and smiled in appreciation of Yunho’s words.
“Thank you but we’ve been very sappy for the last 10 minutes. How about you choose a movie that we can watch while I go and finish making dinner?”
Yunho chose a funny movie and Jaejoong made a simple dinner of bulgogi and teokkbeokki. The movie made them laugh so hard and as the night grew deeper, they did not realize how close they were seating on the couch now. It was already late when the movie finished, Jaejoong offered that Yunho stay the night but Yunho had to say no because he needs to get home to his mom.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Jaejoong-ah. Thank you for the dinner.” Yunho kissed his cheek and went out. Jaejoong was stunned but what he did not know was behind the closed door was Yunho with wide eyes who also can’t believe what he just did.
*********************************************************************************
Their practice the next day was quite awkward, both pretending that the kiss did not happen. However their duet was getting better, much better. Both have perfected the music and now they are just mastering the harmonization.
That night, Yunho dropped Jaejoong off to his house again. The tutor offered dinner again but, Yunho had to decline again because he has a Chemistry exam tomorrow and he needs to review some lectures since he’s so focused in music the past month. Jaejoong hid his disappointment and told Yunho he’ll see him tomorrow instead.
It was a good thing that Junsu came over that night. He has someone to talk to. Jaejoong was feeling confused. Yunho was making him feel weird things that he never felt before.
“Su, I want to ask you something...” He was hesitant but he needed to know. “How does it feel to be inlove?” Junsu blushed at his question.
“ I’m not really sure, hyung. But I heard that you’ll feel your heart race, your stomach squish, and you’ll want to see the other person immediately when you’re not together. You look forward to each text message or each call. And when you guys are together, you’ll feel like you don’t need anything else because you have him already.”
“I see.”
“Why do you ask, hyung?”
“Oh, nothing. It’s just because I’m performing a piece with Yunho and I need help in translating the emotions of the song. It’s called Love’s Joy, Yunho has no problems playing it with passion and emotion, while I can only play it with the perfect technique but my emotions are lacking.”
“I know there’s more, hyung. Spill.” Junsu said, seeing right thru his omission.
“Do you know if Yunho’s been in a relationship before?”
“Ahhhh. There it is. Nope, or there’s none that I know of. I’m not even sure if he’s into girls or guys. Why did something happen?”
“Well, we’ve gotten really close over the last few days. We’ve had dinners and we went to an amusement park, we even watched a movie here last night. I’m not really sure. I’m confused. I feel different when I’m with him. It’s not like how you described it. It’s more like when I’m with him, everything seems fine and like I don’t have to be scared or I don’t have to be strong because he’s right there; absorbing all the fear. He also makes me feel so comfortable that I don’t realize I’m already spilling my secrets, he makes each conversation really interesting and he listens to everything I say. And just today, I offered to make him dinner but he can’t because he has an exam tomorrow and I’m so disappointed.”
“Oh, hyung. You like him already. I know that Yunho’s a great person and he won’t hurt you intentionally.”
“I know, but he can still hurt me. I don’t want to hurt again, Su. I don’t want to feel what my mom felt when my dad left her.”
“I know, hyung. But there is also a chance that Yunho will not be like him. And you wouldn’t know that if you won’t give it a shot.”
“Yes and I don’t want to be scared anymore, Su.”
***********************************************************************************
Two days later, while Yunho and Jaejoong were practicing, they received an invite from Junsu for a party that night at a newly opened club in their area. So that night after rehearsals, they decided to go home on their own to freshen up before meeting up in front of the club.
Yunho arrived wearing a white shirt, black jeans, black leather jacket and shoes. He’s waiting for Jaejoong in front of the club entrance. He saw Jaejoong approach him. He was wearing a simple gray knitted pull-over with a black vest over it, white skinny jeans, and black boots.
“Hey. You look really good tonight.” Yunho said as he led Jaejoong inside the club.
“Thanks. You look really good too.”
“Hyung! Yunho! Over here!” They saw Junsu waving them over to their table, and made their way over. “I got you guys drinks, already.” They saw a guy making his way towards Jaejoong.
“Jaejoong?”
“Hyunjoong?” Jae was suddenly inside the man’s arms.
“I missed you, Joongie! I didn’t expect to see you here! Come on, let’s dance!” Hyunjoong said as he pulled Jaejoong towards the dance floor. Jaejoong can only look at Yunho for help. Yunho glared at that Hyunjoong guy that took Jaejoong away.
“Yunho, if looks could kill, Hyunjoong would be double dead by now.” Junsu said as they watch Hyunjoong dance with an obviously uncomfortable Jaejoong. “Please go and save Jaejoong. He looks so pathetic there.” Yunho nodded, downed his drink and made his way towards Jaejoong and Hyunjoong.
“May I cut in?” Yunho asked as he looked at Hyunjoong directly; The other guy had no choice but to release Jaejoong and leave. Yuunho then pulled Jaejoong close and started dancing with him instead.
“Thank you for saving me, Yun. That was the most awkward moment of my life.”
“Who was that guy, if I may ask?”
“He was my suitor way back in high school. I turned him down a lot of times but it seems like he never got the message.” Jaejoong said as he pouted. Yunho laughed and pulled Jaejoong closer to him. Jaejoong smiled and rested his head on Yunho’s shoulders. Suddenly a slow song that was currently popular played. They continued dancing until the song finished, a new hip hop song by Big Bang played, so Yunho led them back towards the table.
Yunho and Jaejoong ordered another round of drinks each for everyone. A few hours later, a tipsy Yunho and Jaejoong went out of the club. Since Jaejoong’s house is only a few blocks away, he offered that Yunho just stay over since it’s dangerous to drive in such a state. They walked towards Jaejoong’s house. However due to their drunken state, they tripped over the door of Jaejoong’s house. Yunho landed on top of Jaejoong. Jaejoong can feel all of Yunho’s hard body and when he looked directly at Yunho, he saw that his face was slowly inching towards his. Suddenly he felt soft lips over his, he gasped when he felt soft licks on his lips. Yunho kissed him deeper, exploring his mouth and tasting the sweetness within.
Yunho pulled back and Jaejoong was gasping for breath when he felt Yunho’s lips on his neck, licking and sucking on the pale column. Jaejoong can’t hold back the whimpers and moans, he turned his neck to the side to give Yunho more room. Yunho groaned at Jaejoong’s antics, he kissed him again and pressed his body against Jaejoong. He can feel Jaejoong’s body and he want to feel it without any thing in between them. Pulled away from the other for a while so that he can remove their shirts, once they’re off, he can’t help but admire how Jaejoong looks under him. Yunho started to kiss the tutors pale chest. He kissed the pebbled nipples, licked around it and then suckled on it.
Jaejoong can’t explain the feeling. It’s too much. He wants to push Yunho away but he doesn’t want him to stop. He pulled him closer, his hands running thru the other’s hair. He wrapped his legs around Yunho’s waist.
Yunho kissed down further inching towards his pants. He started to undo the skin tight pants and pulled it off together with the boxers. Jaejoong’s cock was hard, not too long and thick. It was perfect. Yunho started to stroke it while kissing the insides of Jaejoong’s thighs. This time, Jaejoong was not trying to keep his moans any longer. He wanted Yunho to hear how much pleasure he is receiving from him. Suddenly Jaejoong felt a soft heat envelope his cock, he looked down to see that Yunho was now taking him whole inside his mouth. Each suck and lick was taking him to heaven. He just can’t imagine feeling any more pleasure than this.
“Yunhoo. Please.. I’m gonna come..” Yunho suddenly pulled off. Jaejoong can’t help but whine at the loss. Yunho picked him up and brought him towards his room. He gently laid Jaejoong on the bed, when he tried to pull back, Jaejoong wasn’t letting him. Instead he got a deep kiss from the other one, Yunho can’t say no to Jaejoong’s kisses. He was growing addicted to it. Suddenly he felt Jaejoong undoing his pants.
“Are you sure about this? I won’t be able to stop.” Yunho asked as Jaejoong was pushing his pants off.
“I’m sure. I can’t stop either. I want to feel you inside me.” Both of them can’t hold back their groan when Jaejoong started to stroke Yunho’s cock.
“Do you have lube?”
”I don’t, but I have lotion inside the drawer there.” Yunho managed to pull away this time to get the lube. He coated his fingers with lotion and entered one into Jaejoong’s hole. A few thrusts later, he was pushing another finger through. He was scissoring his fingers to get Jaejoong to loosen up. Jae was moaning in pleasure. It didn’t hurt that much. But it was really uncomfortable at first, but as he got used to it, he can’t help but feel the pleasure budding inside him. When Yunho entered the third digit, Jae felt really full and was more than ready to take Yunho’s cock.
“Yunho, now. I’m ready. Please. I need you.” Jaejoong was already slick with sweat, his hair mussed up, eyes hooded with lust and his lips moist with spit. Yunho really can’t no to that. He let Jaejoong cover his cock with lotion, he then lined his cock with Jaejoong’s hole. And one last look of reassurance, he slid his cock in one sharp thrust, Jaejoong screamed in pain. It was different from moments ago. He felt so full, Yunho stopped moving, getting Jaejoong used to having him inside.
It was tight, nothing like he’s felt before. Being inside Jaejoong is like feeling heaven on earth. He kissed Jaejoong deeply letting him feel comfort and assurance that he will make everything better in a little while. Once he felt that Jaejoong was a little more relaxed. He tried to pull out a little and thrust back in, when Jaejoong moaned, he knew he can move. He slowly pulled back and thrust back in and with every moan that Jaejoong lets out, Yunho’s thrust grow faster and harder.
Jaejoong was in ecstasy. He can’t believe that he’s feeling this much pleasure and he knows that he won’t last long. He wanted to tell Yunho but then Yunho’s cock was hitting a spot inside him that made him see stars and then suddenly, he was coming.
Yunho has never seen anything as beautiful as Jaejoong coming. His head thrown back, mouth open in a silent scream of pleasure and his ass milking his cock for all that its worth. A few more sharp thrusts and Yunho was releasing his seed inside Jaejoong. The force of his orgasm took out all his strength and he fell on top of Jaejoong for the second time that night.
Jaejoong was stroking Yunho’s hair. He loves how loved he feel tonight. He can’t believe that he made love with Yunho. And with the adrenaline still rushing thru his body, he felt like he needed to tell Yunho how he feels.
“I like you, Yunho. I really really like you.” Jaejoong whispered. He felt Yunho stiffen. Yunho pulled back to look directly in his eyes. But what he found there was not something he expected.
“Jaejoong... About that. You know I care for you, but I’m sorry. I don’t like you that way. You’re my friend, but that’s it...”
“But tonight...”
“Tonight was a mistake. I shouldn’t have let my lust take over. We were both drunk. It was a poor sense of judgement on my end. I’m really sorry. I hope you won’t feel like I took advantage of you.”
Yunho watched as Jaejoong’s eyes water. He wanted to take back what he said but he can’t. The damage has been done.
“I understand. Please leave.” Jaejoong croaked out as he tried to push Yunho away. Yunho tried to hug him but Jaejoong was resisting. “Don’t touch me you jerk. Leave me alone.” Yunho gave up and decided to leave Jaejoong alone for tonight. He’ll ask for forgiveness tomorrow.
Jaejoong turned his back on him and curled up in the middle of the bed. He went to the bed again and pulled the covers over Jaejoong’s naked form. “I’m really sorry, Jae.” Yunho whispered before he left.
***********************************************************************************
The next day, Yunho was bringing flowers, but he didn’t see Jaejoong inside the music room. Instead he was greeted by an extremely furious Junsu.
“HOW DARE YOU, YUNHO!” Be felt the punch before he saw it coming. Yunho stumbled back.
“Jaejoong says that he doesn’t want to see you anymore, but he’s not unprofessional so he will still perform with you in two weeks but he would appreciate it if you’ll never show your face to him ever again except during that performance.” Yunho’s eyes widened, he cannot not see Jaejoong anymore.
“But why..?”
“You ask why? You fucking broke his heart. He was really fucking scared that you’ll break his heart, and you did. I shouldn’t have encouraged him. I guess I placed my trust in the wrong person.” Yunho dropped his head, unable to respond to Junsu’s accusations.
“You make sure that you master your piece because I don’t want you to embarrass Jaejoong any further.” With that final statement, Junsu left the room.
The next days were hell for Yunho, he can’t play anymore because everytime he plays, he sees how betrayed Jaejoong was when he rejected him. He realized that Jaejoong made him really happy and not having him anymore was a direct blow to his heart. He thought that he only cared for Jaejoong as a friend, wanting to protect him because of what happened to him before.
He also sees Jaejoong at the university, their eyes will meet but Jaejoong will look away after a second. Jaejoong now pretends that Yunho doesn’t exist. It hurts Yunho. He wonders if this is how Jaejoong felt when that night. But what hurts more is when he sees Jaejoong going out with Hyungjoon. He heard a rumor that Hyunjoong was pursuing Jaejoong again now that he’s found him. Yunho’s jealous. There was a time when it was only him that Jaejoong spends his time with. Now he’s with Hyungjoon, and Yunho doesn’t like it one bit.
But he knows that it’s his fault that Jaejoong was now gone. He rejected him when things could’ve ended differently had he chosen to accept Jaejoong’s feeling. He now knows that you never really understand what you have until it’s gone. Now that Jaejoong is pout of his reach, he knows he needs him more than ever. He now needs to think of a way to get Jaejoong to forgive him and take him back. He only has one shot on this and that will be on the recital. He has plan and he needs to make it work.
***********************************************************************************
On the day of the performance, Yunho’s solo performance as the first on the list, he was nervous. He needs to make sure he won’t screw this up. When his name was called, he took his position on the piano. He looked at the audience before he started, He saw Jaejoong on the front row seats, looking at him, his expression unreadable. Beside Jaejoong was Hyunjoong, accompanying him. Seeing them together gave Yunho the determination to make sure that he’ll pull through this. He started playing the piece he and Jaejoong practiced first for weeks, he wants to make Jaejoong proud and he needs to ensure that he won’t make any mistake.
Jaejoong was watching Yunho play, and like everything he does, this was perfect. He feels like he is transported to very beautiful garden where all is right in the world and where love and happiness are overflowing. Yunho never fails to make him feel and despite the hurt, he feels proud that Yunho can play this good just after 1 ½ months of practicing under him. With all these thoughts, Jaejoong did not notice that Yunho transitioned from Clair De Lune to the song that they danced to in the club that night. He only noticed it when Yunho’s deep voice reached him.
When your legs don't work like they used to before
And I can't sweep you off of your feet
Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love
Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks
And darling I will be loving you 'til we're 70
And baby my heart could still fall as hard at 23
And I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways
Maybe just the touch of a hand
Oh me I fall in love with you every single day
And I just wanna tell you I am
He looked at Yunho and saw that he was looking directly at him. Jaejoong did not know what to feel and how to react so he just continued to watch Yunho.
So honey now
Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Place your head on my beating heart
I'm thinking out loud
Maybe we found love right where we are
When my hair's all but gone and my memory fades
And the crowds don't remember my name
When my hands don't play the strings the same way, mm
I know you will still love me the same
'Cause honey your soul can never grow old, it's evergreen
Baby your smile's forever in my mind and memory
I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways
Maybe it's all part of a plan
I'll just keep on making the same mistakes
Hoping that you'll understand
But baby now
Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Place your head on my beating heart
I'm thinking out loud
That maybe we found love right where we are, oh
So baby now
Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Oh darling, place your head on my beating heart
I'm thinking out loud
That maybe we found love right where we are
Oh maybe we found love right where we are
And we found love right where we are
When the last note was played, everyone was clapping and hooting at Yunho. But the pianist was only looking at his tutor. He mouthed “I’m really sorry, Jaejoong.” Jaejoong can only shake his head and smile at that idiot as he made his way towards the stage for their performance.
This time, Jaejoong stood on the other side of the piano so that they can see each other. And on three, they started playing Love’s Joy. Jaejoong remembered all those times that Yunho made him happy and even after the rejection; he still knows that deep down he still likes Yunho. This time, he lets the happiness of being able to spend time with someone special to him wash over him and translate to his music. Unbeknownst to him, Yunho was also doing the same thing as he played his part, his eyes never leaving the beautiful form of the person he likes but lost. They played with a passion that made everyone feel how happy they felt being with each other. Once their performance ended, everyone was standing and clapping. It was the best feeling to be able to share how you are feeling with a lot of people and them appreciating you. Hand in hand, they bowed to their audience and left the stage together.
Once they got off stage, everything was awkward. Jaejoong was the one who broke the silence. “You were great today, Yunho. I’m proud of you...” Yunho was only looking at him. “Well, I should be going now, Hyunjoong is waiting for me.” Jaejoong turn around and started making his way towards the door.
“Jaejoong, wait! I’m sorry! I really like you! I’m sorry I did not realize it any sooner. Everything was new to me. I was never afraid of love but I also did not know how it felt. I thought I only like you as a friend and nothing more. I also did not want to jeopardize what we have because what if I don’t feel the same? But when I wasn’t seeing you anymore, I felt like there was big hole in my chest. And then I realized that I left my heart with you that night when I walked out your door. And then Junsu told me you were scared that I’m going to hurt you, it was like a slap to my face because I was the one who is scared. I didn’t want to lose you, but I did anyway. So now, I just want you to know that I really do love you and I hope you’ll give me another chance to prove it to you.” By the end of Yunho’s speech, Jaejoong was near tears.
“Yunho, you don’t know how happy that makes me feel. But I can’t trust you with my heart right now. Please know that I want to, but I really can’t this time. If only you realized it sooner we wouldn’t have to go through this. So, Yunho, thank you for being honest. Know that I still like you, tremendously, but I just can’t do this right now. I’m sorry.”
“Jae...”
“Maybe somewhere in the future if you still want me, then maybe...” Jaejoong hugged Yunho tightly, “Please wait for me, I just need to mend my heart back and once it’s whole again, I will be ready and then we can try again. Okay?” Jaejoong smiled and gave Yunho a short but hard kiss before he left him. Yunho grinned as he watched Jaejoong leave because he knows he’ll come back and they’ll be together again soon.
“Okay, Jae. Okay.”