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[jady25]

It is so scary to watch a marriage get so close to disaster. The word divorce has been mentioned too many times this past week. It was mostly just us daring the other to actually go through with it. I know I wouldn't want that but I'm not so sure anymore that he doesn't. I just can't see giving up before really trying. If divorce papers showed up

Comments

[ericfishor]

I can't pretend to know whats going on, but if you are so scared about it, and you are egging each other on with the divorce comments, perhaps nows the time to grab Stephen's attention and go "look, we got a problem..."

I don't know what is the cause for such discussion to even occur. Distant feelings, infidelity, someone(s) not doing their part, etc, but if you even hint at divorce it's time to sit down and assess your current situation on your own and with Stephen.

IF you still truly love each other you need to sort out this problem and work through it (which maybe one party correcting behavior, the other party accepting such behavior, or a compromise of the two)

IF feelings have faded, it's time to give it one last shot to try and spark the old candle a flame again. Do something off the wall, fun, and romantic all at the same time, something spontanious and witty that says "Hey Stephen, I've still got it, do you?"

IF it comes down to unfortunately you've grown up and apart, thats an unfortunate but not uncommon problem in young marriages, your best bet is to turn you attention to discussing Hunter's future and the roles you'd both like to play in it. (staying together for hunter isn't impossible, but if the situation is tense, it maybe better to have to deal with seperated parents then a strained marriage, it could reflect poorly on Hunter's views of romantic partnership to watch a struggling marriage drug out.)

My advice, it's time to sit down and have a nice civil conversation with the hubby (no cheap jabs, accusing, yelling, talking over each other, etc), and figure out where you two are, and where you two are going. I can't promise it'll be a pleasant conversation, however; if you want to remain part of their lives, it's your best bet at getting the best case scinereo in this matter.

Basically to solve any problem it goes like this...
-Accept there is in fact a problem (*you are here*)
-Assess the problem with parties involved (you are ASSESSING not blaming)
-Review your options and possible solutions with parties involved
-Select a solution you'd like to pursue (you is plural)
-Work on that solution, and hopefully it works. (Both of you)

If you need me, feel free to get in touch.

-Eric

[jady25]

doing all of that would be so easy...if he weren't literally half way around the world. we are doing a bit better today but we have a lot to work on when he gets back, whenever the hell that might be. we already decided a while ago that we would go to a marriage counsler. we hit a rough spot before now. distance just makes things so much harder, and so does war. oh and having a child that i have to take care of mostly on my own. but we are definately going to work on things. if i saw our relationship hurting my son i would end it in a heartbeat, but i hope we can work it out before it gets to that point. thanks for the advice though.