Fic: Beat Until Unconscious
Title: Beat Until Unconscious
Characters: Jack, Ten, James (OC), JJ (OC)
Summary: An alien invades the kitchen...
Rating: PG13
A/N: This is a crossover between Doctor Who and my own series ' Cooking Up Murder'. Sequel to Cooking Up Double Trouble, Take Three Chefs, Stir In The Doctor... and Simmering Answers.
Jack looked at the prone form of the alien and then back up to the two chefs who wore satisfied grins on their faces as they clutched their improvised weapons of a cast iron skillet and a large cast iron roasting tin respectively. "Wow! Do all chefs do a side course in being a badass or something?"
James' grin turned into a smirk as he shared a high five with his fellow chef. "Of course, it's in the syllabus in between the correct way to debone a chicken and gutting a fish."
"No one beats us in the kitchen," JJ added with a grin, running his fingers through his blond hair.
"I think I'm in love," Jack said happily.
"With who?"
"Both of you."
"That's nothing," the Doctor broke in. "The first time I met James, he bashed the alien over the head with a large metal mixing bowl."
"Werewolf strength?" JJ questioned James.
"No, that was before I was bitten."
"You told him?" the Doctor asked James, obviously shocked. "I mean about your... furriness."
"Well, we have a lot in common," James said mysteriously. "Is it dead?"
"Well, what do you think when you bash it over the head with two cast iron objects? Is there any part of the kitchen you haven't used to get rid of aliens, James?" Jack asked, wondering about what exactly James and JJ have in common, apart from them both being chefs, and making a note to ask James about it later.
"Well, I haven't used the cheese grater or the waffle iron yet."
"Ha! Harry has you beat there," JJ said with a grin. "Bad guy versus waffle iron. Waffle iron wins."
James stiffled a grin at the mental image of the petite Harry wielding a waffle iron like it was a cricket bat. "I've smacked the Doctor on the hands with a metal serving spoon."
"What was he doing to warrant that?" JJ asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Trying to poke his finger into where it shouldn't belong," James answered, laughing at the Doctor's pouting. He lowered his voice slightly. "He's like a big kid sometimes."
The Doctor sniffed, obviously remembering how hard James had hit his hands before. "He hits hard."
"He's threatened to hit me with something too," Jack added. "Last time, it was one of those big metal colanders."
"Only because you nearly blew up the kitchen," James retorted.
"Invading alien!" Jack tried to defend himself. "What about when your boss kept hitting me with the mop?"
"You exploded the baked beans in the storeroom," James explained. "Baked beans everywhere," he added, addressing JJ. "I'd never seen Rob so pissed."
"As I said before, invading alien," Jack stated. "No reason for him to keep hitting me."
"You could've shooed it outside, but , noooo, you had to show off with the big gun and blow up the beans. Why do you think Rob kept hitting you with the mop? From what he tells me, it was because you tried to get out of cleaning up afterwards."
"I think, and this is just me," JJ pointed out, "if you blew up anything in this kitchen, I'd hit you with the mop too," he grinned as he remembered the roasting tin in his hand, "or this."
"I didn't blow anything up, simply because you two chefs went ninja on the alien before I had a chance to."
"Which is a good thing."
Characters: Jack, Ten, James (OC), JJ (OC)
Summary: An alien invades the kitchen...
Rating: PG13
A/N: This is a crossover between Doctor Who and my own series ' Cooking Up Murder'. Sequel to Cooking Up Double Trouble, Take Three Chefs, Stir In The Doctor... and Simmering Answers.
Jack looked at the prone form of the alien and then back up to the two chefs who wore satisfied grins on their faces as they clutched their improvised weapons of a cast iron skillet and a large cast iron roasting tin respectively. "Wow! Do all chefs do a side course in being a badass or something?"
James' grin turned into a smirk as he shared a high five with his fellow chef. "Of course, it's in the syllabus in between the correct way to debone a chicken and gutting a fish."
"No one beats us in the kitchen," JJ added with a grin, running his fingers through his blond hair.
"I think I'm in love," Jack said happily.
"With who?"
"Both of you."
"That's nothing," the Doctor broke in. "The first time I met James, he bashed the alien over the head with a large metal mixing bowl."
"Werewolf strength?" JJ questioned James.
"No, that was before I was bitten."
"You told him?" the Doctor asked James, obviously shocked. "I mean about your... furriness."
"Well, we have a lot in common," James said mysteriously. "Is it dead?"
"Well, what do you think when you bash it over the head with two cast iron objects? Is there any part of the kitchen you haven't used to get rid of aliens, James?" Jack asked, wondering about what exactly James and JJ have in common, apart from them both being chefs, and making a note to ask James about it later.
"Well, I haven't used the cheese grater or the waffle iron yet."
"Ha! Harry has you beat there," JJ said with a grin. "Bad guy versus waffle iron. Waffle iron wins."
James stiffled a grin at the mental image of the petite Harry wielding a waffle iron like it was a cricket bat. "I've smacked the Doctor on the hands with a metal serving spoon."
"What was he doing to warrant that?" JJ asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Trying to poke his finger into where it shouldn't belong," James answered, laughing at the Doctor's pouting. He lowered his voice slightly. "He's like a big kid sometimes."
The Doctor sniffed, obviously remembering how hard James had hit his hands before. "He hits hard."
"He's threatened to hit me with something too," Jack added. "Last time, it was one of those big metal colanders."
"Only because you nearly blew up the kitchen," James retorted.
"Invading alien!" Jack tried to defend himself. "What about when your boss kept hitting me with the mop?"
"You exploded the baked beans in the storeroom," James explained. "Baked beans everywhere," he added, addressing JJ. "I'd never seen Rob so pissed."
"As I said before, invading alien," Jack stated. "No reason for him to keep hitting me."
"You could've shooed it outside, but , noooo, you had to show off with the big gun and blow up the beans. Why do you think Rob kept hitting you with the mop? From what he tells me, it was because you tried to get out of cleaning up afterwards."
"I think, and this is just me," JJ pointed out, "if you blew up anything in this kitchen, I'd hit you with the mop too," he grinned as he remembered the roasting tin in his hand, "or this."
"I didn't blow anything up, simply because you two chefs went ninja on the alien before I had a chance to."
"Which is a good thing."