using my free time to be a better person: step one
As you certainly may already know if we do any talking in the real world, I've been thinking very critically about my finances and my financial patterns over the last month since I've paid off my entire balance of credit debt and begun to think about tackling my student loans. Now, don't get me wrong, credit debt elimination is a great achievement and I deserve a gold star, but the fact of the matter is that credit debt was there in the first place because I put it there. In order to use money and credit an a responsible way in the future, I need to identify and eliminate poor spending patterns in my life. Even admitting the fact that I did something "wrong" in the first place is a step in the right direction for me, so here's to that.
The long and the short of this is that there is a blog I have been reading called The Simple Dollar. You can check it out if you want to; I assume you know how to use your google search bar. One of the things that is included in this blog is a "31 Days to Fix Your Finances" kind of workbook. I'm a big fan of structured thinking and so this kind of opportunity to do some guided thinking about my finances, the way I use money, and the way I feel about money is something that I have been looking forward to. Now I know that most of you don't have any particular interest in my personal quest for financial peace and self-enlightenment. However, those of you that do feel like slogging through my thoughts can please feel free to share any feedback you might have. Plus, I think that posting a little bit of what's going on in my mind now and again is a good way to A. keep myself accountable, and B. record what is going on in there anyway. Most of this business involves number crunching, which I won't necessarily share, but I think there are a lot of good "Who is Brenda, anyway?" bits in there, so here's to those.
My first task was to identify my five main life values in order to set up spending and goal-setting in a meaningful way. (Goals! Lovely!) Without further ado, the five things that make me tick, in no particular order.
1. Influence: I want to positively influence the world around me.
I want my presence in this life to mean something better for those I know directly and indirectly. I want to have the confidence and wisdom to lead, and the humility to do it well and introspectively. I want to have the means to control my environment and the perspective to know when I should act and when I shouldn't. I want to be insightful and share that insight in the form of advice. I want to teach. I want to volunteer. I want to serve.
2. Fulfillment: I want to fulfill my thirst for knowledge and my drive to express myself.
I want to know everything I can about myself and the world around me. I want to succeed in academia; I want to publish. I want to bury myself in a Master's program and get a Doctorate and write a thesis. I want to achieve expertise in a subject. I want to learn about the world and society and culture by experiencing it and traveling and smelling and tasting. I want to read everything. I want to successfully identify my true academic passions. I want to belong to a community of learners. I want to create! I want to express myself through words and through song and through whatever visual art I can muster. I want to learn. I want to GROW.
3. Health: I want to be holistically healthy.
I want to be able to properly enjoy the fruits of my labors by treating myself the way I need to be treated to thrive physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I want to make fitness an important part of my daily life. I want to be strong and fast and flexible. I want to nourish my physical self with food that is well-prepared and high quality and safe, and I want to learn about alternative ways to treat illness besides corporate pharmaceuticals. I want to learn discipline! I want to learn how to meditate and listen to myself and the universe. I want to learn how to understand and treat my anxiety without pills. I want to find my center. I want to accept and embrace my own mortality and the transience of life.
4. Relationships: I want positive relationships with myself, my family, my friends, and my creator (if you will).
I want to be at peace with myself. I want to be an honest sister, a responsible daughter, a loving wife, a humble mother, a loyal friend, and a dependable coworker. I want to cultivate understanding, patience, empathy, humility, trustworthiness, loyalty, and kindness, because I think these traits make being the former easier. I want to find someone to spend the rest of my life with and I want us to grow together and be kind to each other and support each other and be friends and lovers and partners. I want to have a family and raise my children to be patient and critical and curious and joyful. I want to learn how to self validate so I can bring a whole person to each relationship I belong to. I want to have reasonable expectations of others and be friends with people who help me to be a stronger, better me. I want to discover how I feel about the sublime and tease out my beliefs and then follow them wholeheartedly.
5. Balance: I want to balance these four aspects of my life with all the mundane and necessary living tasks to create a centered, accomplished, and whole person.
I want to learn effective time management. I want to be introspective and reflective and discover the best ways to be me. I want to be dedicated to myself and my values. I want to learn how to draw the line between too much and too little--I want to enjoy the pleasures of having a physical self while not letting the enjoyment of those pleasures stifle my logic and intellect and drive. And, because I am inevitably going to fail time and time again trying to uphold and balance these values, I want to learn how to fail. I want to externalize my work from my person and forgive myself for my shortcomings, so I can spend less time moping and more time improving. I want to find my center. I want to be whole.
And there you have it: the essence of Brenda. Now, we need to figure out how I'm going to accomplish all those things and how much it is going to cost...and that is a project for another day.
The long and the short of this is that there is a blog I have been reading called The Simple Dollar. You can check it out if you want to; I assume you know how to use your google search bar. One of the things that is included in this blog is a "31 Days to Fix Your Finances" kind of workbook. I'm a big fan of structured thinking and so this kind of opportunity to do some guided thinking about my finances, the way I use money, and the way I feel about money is something that I have been looking forward to. Now I know that most of you don't have any particular interest in my personal quest for financial peace and self-enlightenment. However, those of you that do feel like slogging through my thoughts can please feel free to share any feedback you might have. Plus, I think that posting a little bit of what's going on in my mind now and again is a good way to A. keep myself accountable, and B. record what is going on in there anyway. Most of this business involves number crunching, which I won't necessarily share, but I think there are a lot of good "Who is Brenda, anyway?" bits in there, so here's to those.
My first task was to identify my five main life values in order to set up spending and goal-setting in a meaningful way. (Goals! Lovely!) Without further ado, the five things that make me tick, in no particular order.
1. Influence: I want to positively influence the world around me.
I want my presence in this life to mean something better for those I know directly and indirectly. I want to have the confidence and wisdom to lead, and the humility to do it well and introspectively. I want to have the means to control my environment and the perspective to know when I should act and when I shouldn't. I want to be insightful and share that insight in the form of advice. I want to teach. I want to volunteer. I want to serve.
2. Fulfillment: I want to fulfill my thirst for knowledge and my drive to express myself.
I want to know everything I can about myself and the world around me. I want to succeed in academia; I want to publish. I want to bury myself in a Master's program and get a Doctorate and write a thesis. I want to achieve expertise in a subject. I want to learn about the world and society and culture by experiencing it and traveling and smelling and tasting. I want to read everything. I want to successfully identify my true academic passions. I want to belong to a community of learners. I want to create! I want to express myself through words and through song and through whatever visual art I can muster. I want to learn. I want to GROW.
3. Health: I want to be holistically healthy.
I want to be able to properly enjoy the fruits of my labors by treating myself the way I need to be treated to thrive physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I want to make fitness an important part of my daily life. I want to be strong and fast and flexible. I want to nourish my physical self with food that is well-prepared and high quality and safe, and I want to learn about alternative ways to treat illness besides corporate pharmaceuticals. I want to learn discipline! I want to learn how to meditate and listen to myself and the universe. I want to learn how to understand and treat my anxiety without pills. I want to find my center. I want to accept and embrace my own mortality and the transience of life.
4. Relationships: I want positive relationships with myself, my family, my friends, and my creator (if you will).
I want to be at peace with myself. I want to be an honest sister, a responsible daughter, a loving wife, a humble mother, a loyal friend, and a dependable coworker. I want to cultivate understanding, patience, empathy, humility, trustworthiness, loyalty, and kindness, because I think these traits make being the former easier. I want to find someone to spend the rest of my life with and I want us to grow together and be kind to each other and support each other and be friends and lovers and partners. I want to have a family and raise my children to be patient and critical and curious and joyful. I want to learn how to self validate so I can bring a whole person to each relationship I belong to. I want to have reasonable expectations of others and be friends with people who help me to be a stronger, better me. I want to discover how I feel about the sublime and tease out my beliefs and then follow them wholeheartedly.
5. Balance: I want to balance these four aspects of my life with all the mundane and necessary living tasks to create a centered, accomplished, and whole person.
I want to learn effective time management. I want to be introspective and reflective and discover the best ways to be me. I want to be dedicated to myself and my values. I want to learn how to draw the line between too much and too little--I want to enjoy the pleasures of having a physical self while not letting the enjoyment of those pleasures stifle my logic and intellect and drive. And, because I am inevitably going to fail time and time again trying to uphold and balance these values, I want to learn how to fail. I want to externalize my work from my person and forgive myself for my shortcomings, so I can spend less time moping and more time improving. I want to find my center. I want to be whole.
And there you have it: the essence of Brenda. Now, we need to figure out how I'm going to accomplish all those things and how much it is going to cost...and that is a project for another day.