i am like the old tin man.

[jadedstar]

I cannot operate like a normal person like this.
I cannot fucking sleep.
Three or four hours isn't enough.
In 9 days, I've barely slept one full day.
I am just so so so tired.
It's turning into anger now, though.
Can't stop shaking. Took the tip of my finger off yesterday at work because I cannot get my hands to stop shaking long enough to chop things.

I am so fucking tired. Angry that I've done everything, exhausted all my options.. and nothing has fixed it. I need help but all the doctors tell me they don't know what to do about me, that I am such an "interesting and unique!" case.
Yeah, well.. unique doesn't seem to help me at all or remedy the problem.
I've been having these sessions of crying that lasts for fifteen minutes or so, then the more worked up I get or when I try to stop crying, I launch into a panic attack. After it subsides, I start right back up with crying because I'm mad at myself for having to even deal with a panic attack.
Repeat that three times a day or so and you'll pretty much know my schedule.

Ugh. End rant.