nonono
As of right now, I am roughly on hour 21 of sleep.. since last Monday. I feel like a zombie. I cannot sleep at all, making me a huge wreck. My hands are always shaking, can hardly eat, have zero energy, have had a headache pretty much all day since last Wednesday. I'm dying over here.. I go from crying, to laughing, to sobbing, to being really angry, to sobbing again in ten minute intervals.
Cannot. Do.
Feel like I'm on suicide watch or something. Like I am going to lose it. ALL I wanted this weekend was to spend time with my seestar, but didn't happen. No drugs are working, no relaxing thoughts, no amount of breathing exercises... Nothing.
I can't do it anymore. When I'm not waking up with a fucking butcher knife in my hand, I'm waking up after only 3 hours of sleep. It's absurd. Pathetic. Frustrating.
My eyes look like hell.. I took a picture to show my mother who thought I was being overly dramatic. Then she felt wretched cos it looks like her daughter has two black eyes.
Ugh.
(and... the eye picture? That's with wearing makeup. Everyone at work has me on suicide watch now.)
Cannot. Do.
Feel like I'm on suicide watch or something. Like I am going to lose it. ALL I wanted this weekend was to spend time with my seestar, but didn't happen. No drugs are working, no relaxing thoughts, no amount of breathing exercises... Nothing.
I can't do it anymore. When I'm not waking up with a fucking butcher knife in my hand, I'm waking up after only 3 hours of sleep. It's absurd. Pathetic. Frustrating.
My eyes look like hell.. I took a picture to show my mother who thought I was being overly dramatic. Then she felt wretched cos it looks like her daughter has two black eyes.
Ugh.
(and... the eye picture? That's with wearing makeup. Everyone at work has me on suicide watch now.)