I don't expect you to forgive me, that's okay. I compleately understand if you can't trust me, I was messed up, I'm seeking help, I'm working on it.
I just can't hold things like this inside me anymore, so I guess you could say I confessed all this to you for some selfish sense of closure. I am sorry that I shattered the closure you had found but all this time you and I have been so far away I have been miserable. I havent been able to date anyone since I broke up with you because I've been so messed up about it and yes I do remember that it was me that broke up with you. I had reasons... not to say it was the right thing to do.
You have every right to not forgive me, and you have no reason to apologize. I am just trying to get rid of the self inflicted wounds on my own heart. I honestly thought you had lied to me but I found out recently it wasn't you who lied. Another person confessed to me that they had lied.
I was pulling away from you because I was afraid, and that is where I was wrong.
I don't expect anything from you, I leave that in your hands. Why would I put myself through this you ask? Because you were the single person who I cared about the most in the world and when I read that you thought I was cynical it ripped me in half. I had never even considered that you had any complaints about me and when I found that you did It hurt me alot. it hurt my pride but as I said before I overreacted far too strongly. I should have talked to you instead of letting it fester and grow inside me until I suffocated.
I'm glad that you were able to move on, it's some consolaton I suppose. All I wanted to know is how you felt about me and you have provided me with that. Now that I have absolute proof that I mean nothing to you, that all I am is a memory and nothing more, that you'll never come back... Perhaps I can move on too.
I'm sorry I had to hurt you again for my own selfishness but when all you do is spend your time holding on to memories, faint hopes and old trinkets. Writing poetry, letters you'll never send, and dreaming about someone you lost you have to do something, otherwise you'll just waste away.
I just can't hold things like this inside me anymore, so I guess you could say I confessed all this to you for some selfish sense of closure. I am sorry that I shattered the closure you had found but all this time you and I have been so far away I have been miserable. I havent been able to date anyone since I broke up with you because I've been so messed up about it and yes I do remember that it was me that broke up with you. I had reasons... not to say it was the right thing to do.
You have every right to not forgive me, and you have no reason to apologize. I am just trying to get rid of the self inflicted wounds on my own heart. I honestly thought you had lied to me but I found out recently it wasn't you who lied. Another person confessed to me that they had lied.
I was pulling away from you because I was afraid, and that is where I was wrong.
I don't expect anything from you, I leave that in your hands.
Why would I put myself through this you ask?
Because you were the single person who I cared about the most in the world and when I read that you thought I was cynical it ripped me in half. I had never even considered that you had any complaints about me and when I found that you did It hurt me alot. it hurt my pride but as I said before I overreacted far too strongly. I should have talked to you instead of letting it fester and grow inside me until I suffocated.
I'm glad that you were able to move on, it's some consolaton I suppose.
All I wanted to know is how you felt about me and you have provided me with that. Now that I have absolute proof that I mean nothing to you, that all I am is a memory and nothing more, that you'll never come back... Perhaps I can move on too.
I'm sorry I had to hurt you again for my own selfishness but when all you do is spend your time holding on to memories, faint hopes and old trinkets. Writing poetry, letters you'll never send, and dreaming about someone you lost you have to do something, otherwise you'll just waste away.
Reply
Leave a comment