so
I found out the other day via someone I work with who is a friend of the Steffans that Kelly was sentenced to 5 years?
If that's true I have to say... I'm glad.
I'm glad it wasn't more.
I heared she could get deported and have up to 25 years in prison.
I'm glad she only got 5.
I mean I might feel a little better if she didn't even have that, I mean it's not like we were best buddies or anything but we were freinds, if distant ones. Kelly is being punished enough by the memory of what she did...
I guess you could say I'm a bit torn in that respect... I was infinately closer to Ash than I was to Kelly... but I also know Kelly and Ash were pretty good friends too.
I still can't look at a picture of Ashley without crying, but I still look. I want to see more... to have at least that much. Some small sliver of her left in my life aside from scattered notes on a bulliten board and a tarnished ring.
I miss her so much... I'm glad we got to spend some time together... I used to feel guilty that I would skip her out of school to go watch anime or shopping or go to mc donalds... but now I cherish it. It was more time I had with her, more memories... something else I can keep in my heart.
I loathe the thought that I fought with her...
I hate that I wasted so much time.
I don't want anything like that ever again. I don't want to have to regret anything, I don't want to fight.
Right here and now I appologize for everything I have ever done to anyone.
Especially Abby, I owe Abby so much... I have so much to appologize for.
That I wasn't strong, that I couldn't deal with anything, that I ever said anything about her that was negative.
That I lied...
I was never mad at you for anything other than what I read in your journal... everyting else was just stupid childish jelousy.
On New Years what seems like forever ago... I wasn't angery at you for the reason you assumed... I covered it up with that, I used that as an excuse.
The truth was that I was insanely jelouse that you and Molly were being so touchy Feely that night When she was playing with your hair I wanted to scream... It's just the way I am I guess...
Possesive...
I just wanted you to know I never hated you... not ever... I tried to tell myself that I did because it hurt too much to think that I was feeling pain from our break up and you seemed to feel nothing... you wrote things like how you never felt for me and it hurt me feelings and my pride and I lashed out at you.
I had no right to do that and I am so sorry...
I know this is a long time coming and that you may never read it...
I know that it may be to late and that you truly might dispise me...
But I still needed to say it.
I always loved you.
I'm sorry.
If that's true I have to say... I'm glad.
I'm glad it wasn't more.
I heared she could get deported and have up to 25 years in prison.
I'm glad she only got 5.
I mean I might feel a little better if she didn't even have that, I mean it's not like we were best buddies or anything but we were freinds, if distant ones. Kelly is being punished enough by the memory of what she did...
I guess you could say I'm a bit torn in that respect... I was infinately closer to Ash than I was to Kelly... but I also know Kelly and Ash were pretty good friends too.
I still can't look at a picture of Ashley without crying, but I still look. I want to see more... to have at least that much. Some small sliver of her left in my life aside from scattered notes on a bulliten board and a tarnished ring.
I miss her so much... I'm glad we got to spend some time together... I used to feel guilty that I would skip her out of school to go watch anime or shopping or go to mc donalds... but now I cherish it. It was more time I had with her, more memories... something else I can keep in my heart.
I loathe the thought that I fought with her...
I hate that I wasted so much time.
I don't want anything like that ever again. I don't want to have to regret anything, I don't want to fight.
Right here and now I appologize for everything I have ever done to anyone.
Especially Abby, I owe Abby so much... I have so much to appologize for.
That I wasn't strong, that I couldn't deal with anything, that I ever said anything about her that was negative.
That I lied...
I was never mad at you for anything other than what I read in your journal... everyting else was just stupid childish jelousy.
On New Years what seems like forever ago... I wasn't angery at you for the reason you assumed... I covered it up with that, I used that as an excuse.
The truth was that I was insanely jelouse that you and Molly were being so touchy Feely that night When she was playing with your hair I wanted to scream... It's just the way I am I guess...
Possesive...
I just wanted you to know I never hated you... not ever... I tried to tell myself that I did because it hurt too much to think that I was feeling pain from our break up and you seemed to feel nothing... you wrote things like how you never felt for me and it hurt me feelings and my pride and I lashed out at you.
I had no right to do that and I am so sorry...
I know this is a long time coming and that you may never read it...
I know that it may be to late and that you truly might dispise me...
But I still needed to say it.
I always loved you.
I'm sorry.