Fic: Crave Part 8.
Christian is kinda sexy. I wanna fuck him.
I may be on my seventh can but I know when I’m being hit on dammit! We’re in the hotel bar and he just slides in next to me and buys me beer. Already in there, Baby. Christian starts leaning close and talking to me about how stressful work is right now and how Francois taught him this really great massage and how he’d like to give me one sometime. My cock starts to tingle at this offer so I turn to check out the scenery. Tight jeans with those thin cotton shirts he wears. Nice. I imagine untying those porn star laces he’s got on his pants. I like fair skin, obviously, and he’s got pretty eyes, a cute mouth. Shame about the hair though. I liked it when it was longer, but at least I can rub my face on his pale neck without getting silk in my mouth.
Fuck.
I refocus on the fingers in my lap and the beer in my hand till that thought is locked in the black box inside my heart with all the rest. A box with a big fuckin’ padlock on it and the letters C J branded into the lid.
There.
Now I’m only thinkin’ about possible futures with the young babe currently trying to crawl into my jeans.
“What brought this on?” I ask, sliding my hand under Christian’s shirt tails, feelin’ soft skin.
He licks his lips and smiles nervously. “Well, you’ve been pretty great in the ring lately and we’ve been doin’ some stuff together. So I thought I’d try to generate a little tension.”
I grab his hand back and place in on my cock. “Ya succeeded there Baby.”
We grope some more as I drunkenly review this week, when yes my brain starts. The kid’s been flirting’ with me most times we’ve been together. I’ve been totally uninterested in anythin’ like sex lately and missed all his little hints. So the kid climbs into my lap.
Gotta respect that.
Despite Dwayne’s urgings to get over it, I’ve been sulkin’. Keepin’ myself to myself too much. Why not live a little?
“Austin?” The slim Canadian’s breath tickles my ear. “Want to come up to my room so I can give you that massage?
“Hmmm.” I murmur back, lips caressing the milky skin. “Sound’s nice.”
I’m about to slide off the bar stool when I see through the glass wall of the bar, someone walk across the foyer to reception.
My gut clenches as I watch him move.
It’s been two months. He hasn’t changed at all since I walked from that hotel room. Still a cold, vicious bastard with a mouth on him like a razor. Cold with everybody, even the Boyos. Although he’s still nicer to them than anyone else. But that’s not saying much.
Goldberg’s history. Even Vince realized that with the less than enthusiastic crowd reactions he’s getting now and the possibility of his death if he ever sets foot in a WWE locker room, the guy was more trouble than he was worth. Asshole’s contracted for two more appearances though, including Wrestlemania.
With me.
Can’t wait. Then the soon-to-be-bleeding Goldberg’s gone. For good. Finally.
All thoughts of Christian dribble from my skull as I absently push the kid away and head after Jericho.
I can tell he’s aware of me. Chris’ shoulders tense just ever so slightly as I approach him and lean on the reception counter. Getting an eyeful, I slowly gaze at him from boots to hair. Taking his key he smiles at the receptionist who nods back, slightly stunned.
Uh, ah. Don’t try and run away Pretty Boy. I follow quickly and step into the lift just before the doors close.
Leaning against the wall, I stare at his profile, tracing the lovely bone structure, the curved brow and all that golden…
“If you’re doing that to piss me off, it’s working.” His honey voice has its typical ‘bite me’ tone.
“Good.” I sneer.
He spins around and faces me, crossing his arms he smiles nastily.
“Still torturing yourself?” Those frosty eyes scan me from head to toe. It’s not pleasant. “Kinda pathetic don’t you agree?”
I bark a shout of laughter.
“Ya just don’t get it do ya?” I ask stepping close to invade his personal space.
“Get what Austin?” He doesn’t even flinch at my nearness. Prick. “That you’re so enamoured of yourself that you can’t get over me seeing some sense?”
“No. Ya dumb little shit,” I abuse right back. “Ya don’t get that ya fucked up something that could’a been forever!”
“Yeah right. And what colour is the sky in your world Austin?” Chris questions sarcastically as the lift doors open.
“Sapphire…” I murmur to his back as the lift doors close, leaving me alone. “Bright sapphire blue.”
*****
I walk with my usual swagger from Vince’s office, at long last finally feeling good for more than ten seconds. Dwayne is right, I’m moping like a stupid teenager with a crush over a guy not worth my time. As far as CJ is concerned, he’s the one who missed out. Too much bloody trouble dealing with someone else’s issues, Christian is stable and I like him. It’s not like it would have gone anywhere. We’re so different and lets face it, he didn’t care two cents for me. I don’t need that kinda attitude, if I wanna be treated like dirt I’ll call Debra. He did us both a favour. I’m glad it never began.
Yeah, right.
Ignoring the little box in my heart, I head to Christian’s locker room with a grin on my face. Tonight I’m gonna seduce him. He’s already given me the go ahead but I wasn’t ready. God I sound like a virgin. Me, not ready for sex! Blame the little blonde prick with the ego the size of Canada. I swing through the showers connected to the locker room and smile as I hear Christian say my name. Slowing I prepare to surprise him by jumping out from hiding.
“Austin likes medium-well steak? Cool. I’ll order it from room service.” Christian sounds like he’s writing something down.
“It’s not that hard to remember Christian.” My heart stops beating at the sound of Jericho’s voice. “Order wine as well, something well flavoured and not too sweet.”
Oh God.
“Wine? C’mon you’re kidding me. Austin?” My boyfriend is incredulous.
“Only with steak. Medium-well steak, mushroom sauce is his favorite but if you can’t get that try peppercorn but nothing creamy.” Chris’ voice is firm and confident, but there is the hint of something…
There isn’t any air.
“Awesome, thanks Chris. Man you know I owe you big time for all of this. I’m gonna pay you back somehow.” Christian says chirpily. Chirpy, he’s chirpy?
“I’ve told you don’t worry about it Christian. You two are made for each other.” He sounds tired.
I can’t seem to breathe.
“Yeah sure. But if you hadn’t, you know, pushed me at him I would never have flirted with him like that or anything. I never even thought he was interested till you told me to go for it.” Movement as Christian packs up his gear. I slide down the wall till my butt hits the tiles.
I hear Jericho get up and walk across the room, “Just do everything we talked about and you’ll be fine. You are perfect for him.”
Why can’t I breathe?
“Whoa Chris I don’t know about that. This is gonna be our first night together and then we’ll see how it goes.” Christian chuckles goofily. Goofy?
“No you will not!” Chris is angry, but there is no ice in his voice. “This is the best chance you will ever get understand? You will not fuck this up by being an adolescent. Austin is the most amazingly decent man you will ever meet and he will be happy, not fucked around by you!”
I wish I could breathe.
“Jeeze Chris okay I get it. Don’t fuck around with his feelings,” Christian is obviously thrown by Jericho’s outburst. “If you think he’s so incredible why don’t you go after him?”
Dead silence.
“Because he deserves better than the poison that is me.” Pure self-hatred in that beloved voice.
Oh God.
Uncomfortable silence as Chris opens the outer door.
“Just…be good to him ok?” I never thought I would hear such tenderness from him.
“Sure Chris. I’ll do everything you told me. Treat him like a prince and make him happy. I’ll take care of him for you, I promise.” Christian is sincere.
“Thanks.” I hear the outer door snick closed.
I can finally breathe, huge gasps of oxygen flow into my lungs as the reality of what I just heard sinks in. The box inside my heart is breaking, falling to bits inside me. It really shouldn’t hurt this much.
But it does. One thought revolves around and around in my head like a carousel.
I hear footsteps coming my way. I can’t move, the thought has me mesmerized.
A bag dropping to the floor, my boyfriend’s voice.
“Oh shit.”
I’m gonna kill the little bastard for doing this to us.
Then I’m gonna marry him.
*******
My fans would be stunned to see me like this. Sitting, chin on fist as I think about a problem rather than stomping a mudhole in someone. It’s fuckin’ weird actually. All the anger is gone, all the hurt and pain from the past eight weeks is gone now. I’m left with only…why? Part of it is obvious, Chris thinks he’s poison and, get this, is not good enough for me. Jesus! He’s fuckin’ mad. Guys like me kill to be with guys like him. So he breaks my heart and I hate his guts. Then the little fucker sets up his best friend to win me over, making Christian into the perfect guy for me. Only one catch, there is a perfect guy for me and it’s not Christian.
Kid took it well actually. After finding me on my ass in the showers, we go into his room and hash everything out. From what Goldberg did, to my relationship with Chris, to Christian thinking I’m ‘cool and all’ but how Chris and I are just ‘so into each other’. He’s seems kinda bummed that we didn’t work out but hardly heartbroken so I don’t feel that guilty. As to Jericho’s reasoning Christian has no idea but, “Chris is scary the way he thinks sometimes. I swear he doesn’t operate at the same speed as the rest of us. I’ve heard some stories from Stampede that would make you grow hair Austin, Jericho can be so twisted.”
So. I’m not gonna just go to Jericho’s room and beat the crap outta him. I’m not gonna even talk to him. Not till I find out…why? Something Christian said eats at me till I make a decision. Getting up from my ‘thinker’ pose I grab a six-pack and leave my room. Up one floor I knock on the door of the only person that may be able to give me some answers.
“Hey Austin. What’s up?”
“Hey Lance. I need ya help. I need to know about Jericho and Stampede.”
***********
It took some persuading, but I finally convince Lance Storm to confide in me about Chris. These guys were pretty close a while back and I know Jericho treats Lance better than just about anyone other than the Boyos. When I explain the whole situation to Storm, he goes red at some parts but finishes up pretty pale. He gets up from the couch and walks to the window. I give him a minute, ‘cos I got hours.
He turns back to me, takes big gulp of beer and asks, “Do you really CARE about him?”
I snort, “Why the fuck do ya think I’m here Lance? ‘Course I damn well care. I love the bastard but I don’t know what’s wrong!!!”
Lance thinks that one over.
“This never leaves this room because I swore to myself I wouldn’t tell stories about him to anyone, understand?”
“I’m not here to gossip, I want to know why?” I’m almost begging now.
Lance relents. “It was in Stampede. The people responsible don’t matter, what is important is that Chris was the brightest star rising in that company I think there ever was. We trained together and joined about the same time. We had a blast. Chris was wild, in and out of the ring he caused mayhem. I was along for the ride and it was hilarious.” Amusement laces Lance’s voice, but I know where he is going won’t be funny.
“You can imagine Chris on fire, all that charisma turned up to the max. Making us all adore him just like that. Making us want to be with him, party with him and have a ball.” Storm sighs. “Then there was Sym. 19 years old, 6’6’’ built like Dwayne, dark too and thick as a plank. Think of Booker with less brains and more hair. One of the ‘prospects’ from Alberta, but he could actually remember moves and bump like a champion. Nice kid.” Lance’s expression becomes introspective, then wry. “Oh, did I mention he adored a certain blonde loud-mouth we all know? Followed him around like a fuckin’ puppy, makes the Boyos look cold in comparison. And Chris was just too bloody soft to shut Sym down. Ha…” Lance shakes his head. “Chris soft. Hard to believe.”
“One night, after a show, we went to a club. Damn Austin, Jericho was just...I’d say hypnotizing, but that implies he does it deliberately, he doesn’t. Chris just...well…you know what he looks like and he was in a good mood so we were all in one too. I called it an early night because of a bad shoulder, but had trouble sleeping. About 3am I’m coming back from a drug store and I find Chris in the hall near my room. He was naked ‘cept for a sheet and could barely stand.” Lance’s face is like stone now. “Seems Sym decided to make his play while Chris was relaxed and drunk off his head. He managed to get Chris stripped and wouldn’t take no for an answer. So he got rough. Like I said Sym was built and fuck that kid was strong.”
The only reason I’m not being sick or killin’ someone is because I know there is more and I’m not moving till I have it all.
“Luckily, I guess, Chris wasn’t as drunk as he’d hoped. I think Jericho broke Sym’s arm and maybe his jaw before he managed to get to the door.” The nausea recedes slightly as it means the asshole wasn’t successful. “When I found him, he was half out of his mind. Sym wasn’t as dumb as he appeared and had drugged Chris’ drinks to make him more pliable. I cleaned him up and checked us out of the hotel. We drove for three hours till Jericho let me take him to a hospital.” Lance turns away from me again and sits on the end of the bed staring into his beer. “I got a call about dawn. The police had scraped Sym off the front of a Mack truck. My guess is he tried to find Chris, stole a car and tore onto the interstate at about 200miles an hour.
“The hospital kept Jericho overnight, because of a dislocated shoulder and cracked ribs. When he was released I took him back to my hotel and left to get some ice. When I got back...” Lance raises his head to look me in the eye for the first time since he began, ”…he had smashed the mirror in the bathroom and ripped through both wrists with it.”
I close my eyes against Lance’s words, but they continue relentlessly.
“He’d also cut his face from cheekbone to jaw. I think…I think he did his wrists first because the cuts to his face weren’t as deep, they didn’t scar.” I thought of the tape Jericho always wears on his wrists and wonder at the scars inflicted by Goldberg’s wire. “This time they wouldn’t release him to me so I called his mother. She...” Storm swallows hard, “I don’t know what she said but a week later they released him and she asked me to take him out of the country. The next morning I ended our contracts with Stampede and booked us on a tour of Japan. He’s been like this...well...cold...ever since. I don’t blame him.”
It’s my turn to stand and walk to the window. Staring numbly into the night I wonder if I can ever make the world right for Chris. I wonder if he’ll let me.
“About six months after it happened Chris and I were out drinking. A couple of guys tried to pick Jericho up…the look in his eyes. Austin I thought he was gonna kill them. I dragged him out of the place and got him drunk in my hotel room on whiskey. It’s the only alcohol he trusts because any drug would taint the taste he says. When he was pissed he told me what that stupid bastard in Canada had done.” Lance’s sigh is deep and long. “All the while he was stripping him, touching and kissing, getting rough and trying to...” Storm chokes and clears his throat. “Sym kept telling Chris how beautiful he was, how pretty. That he was made for fucking and that he was begging for it every time he moved. Sym thought he was seducing him.” Lance shook his head in remembered despair. “The kid told him he loved him, that he adored him. He tried to rape him because he thought he was in love.”
Finally Storm falls silent.
Cut his face from cheekbone to jaw.
The only sound is Lance’s alarm clock ticking on the bed stand.
Looking typically fuckable as always Angel.
It’s an old-fashioned clock that actually ticks.
The poison that is me.
Tick, tick, tick, tick.
So. Now I know.