Numb
Here's another piece I've posted on fanfiction.net. I wrote it when I was feeling down, so I figured it fit my mood tonight. It's not the best-- didn't bother with a beta, but it served its purpose. I emoted and felt better. Wish I felt so inspired tonight. Maybe my own darkness would lift away. Maybe I'll just wallow with Jack in his abyss instead...
Title: Numb
Show: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Heavy angst with just a touch of S/J ship
Summary: Jack awakens in the sarcophagus once again during the episode "Abyss."
Numb
Numb.
Cold.
Silent nightmares grip the surface of my soul.
The light flashes, blinding my tired eyes. I draw my first breath. Then another. My unwanted cocoon comes into focus. And it reminds me. I’m in Hell.
Despair reaches with withered fingers for the last remaining hope I have kept hidden from him. The thick emotion threatens to rip it from me like a snake snatching a field mouse from its haven in the tall, tall grass.
Then I see her face… hovering before me.
My hope swells. Inside. Outside. I feel it in my fingers. I ball them into fists and clench my teeth. I squeeze my eyes shut and hold on to that image.
I let it fill me.
Strong.
Bright.
I allow my mind to wander; to dream of her. I feel my chest rise and fall under the scratchy brown fabric donned by that damned creature who hijacked me. I hear my heart beat within my chest. I curse it and praise it at the same time. I want to die. For me. I want to live. For her. I want to scream. For us both.
I try to hold the image. But time wears away my focus. My mind wanders. Her face is replaced with his.
Twisted.
Wicked.
He’s killed me more times than I can count. Will continue the endless cycle of death and resurrection until I lose myself. Until I lose her. Until I no longer feel the need to embrace my desire to stay bound to the Earth. Or whatever God forsaken planet we happen to be on. And then he’ll kill me again. And as I feel the last trace of life fade from my tortured husk I’ll remember. It’s not over. It never ends.
My sad existence sifts through the tight neck of an hourglass only to be turned again.
Title: Numb
Show: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Heavy angst with just a touch of S/J ship
Summary: Jack awakens in the sarcophagus once again during the episode "Abyss."
Numb
Numb.
Cold.
Silent nightmares grip the surface of my soul.
The light flashes, blinding my tired eyes. I draw my first breath. Then another. My unwanted cocoon comes into focus. And it reminds me. I’m in Hell.
Despair reaches with withered fingers for the last remaining hope I have kept hidden from him. The thick emotion threatens to rip it from me like a snake snatching a field mouse from its haven in the tall, tall grass.
Then I see her face… hovering before me.
My hope swells. Inside. Outside. I feel it in my fingers. I ball them into fists and clench my teeth. I squeeze my eyes shut and hold on to that image.
I let it fill me.
Strong.
Bright.
I allow my mind to wander; to dream of her. I feel my chest rise and fall under the scratchy brown fabric donned by that damned creature who hijacked me. I hear my heart beat within my chest. I curse it and praise it at the same time. I want to die. For me. I want to live. For her. I want to scream. For us both.
I try to hold the image. But time wears away my focus. My mind wanders. Her face is replaced with his.
Twisted.
Wicked.
He’s killed me more times than I can count. Will continue the endless cycle of death and resurrection until I lose myself. Until I lose her. Until I no longer feel the need to embrace my desire to stay bound to the Earth. Or whatever God forsaken planet we happen to be on. And then he’ll kill me again. And as I feel the last trace of life fade from my tortured husk I’ll remember. It’s not over. It never ends.
My sad existence sifts through the tight neck of an hourglass only to be turned again.