I Have The Funk, But Not The P-Funk
Today's Writing Effort
Last night I got to talk to Dan on the phone while I was having a bit of an episode. I was crying and convinced that I was a loser because I didn't have a life plan or a goal for my life or something like that. I don't really even have that much in the way of ambition, so that makes the whole life goal thing really tough. But maxheadwidth was talking to me yesterday about it and not having a goal or a way to even figure one out made me think I was pretty much worthless as a human being and I kept thinking that he could do so much better in the girlfriend department than me. But Dan helped get me out of my pit of sorrow and then I talked to James too and both of them made me feel better so that I could go to sleep without making my pillow into a sodden, snot-covered mess. And I didn't get to sleep until about 1:30am or so.
I got up and took care of bunnies, chickens, and cats, and I was all prepared to stay up and get stuff done, though I didn't know what it was I would be getting done at 6:00am. But I was exhausted. Between the emotional morass I was in, and the late night, I was just wiped out. So I went back to bed until 8:00am. Then I got up, bathed, had breakfast, got dressed, and checked my email. I even got to watch a little TV.
I got to talk to James a little bit before he took off for town and he asked me to do a couple of things for him here at the house since I was basically stuck here. Mariah's car was supposed to go into the shop today and it took her all freaking day to respond to my texts asking for information about when I could get my car back. She still doesn't know. I hope that it will be sometime tomorrow. I may get to use the car while she's at work, but I don't know because then I'm stranded in town with no way to get home. *Le Sigh*
But after James left, and Jenny too, I slipped back into that funk from last night. Not nearly as bad, but bad enough that I just felt like crap. I just can't seem to get out of it for long. And I had such a good morning too.
But I installed and tested some outlet timers for the heaters in the boys rooms and it seemed to work okay. I need to ask James how he wants them programmed before I take the time to go and do that. I also wrapped all the Christmas/Yule presents that were waiting to be wrapped. There were a lot of little things and some very big things and it took like four hours. At least I got to listen to some holiday music while I did it.
Jenny came home and made dinner and it was nice to just have dinner with the adults. But because of my funk I felt like a third wheel. But I stayed until James was done with dinner so that I could just spend some time with him.
I finished up the wrapping after dinner and I was going to put tags on things except that I didn't know what went to whom. I had put sticky notes on things to say what was inside so that James could help me put the proper tags on things, but he was occupied and didn't have time. I just need to get it done and get the presents tucked away in the little wood room so that folks don't get too curious about what they're getting for the holidays.
I really hope that I get to see Dan tomorrow and I hope that I get to be able to run my errands and go to Biolife. It wouldn't be a problem if Mariah could just give me the damned car back. *Le Sigh*
Last night I got to talk to Dan on the phone while I was having a bit of an episode. I was crying and convinced that I was a loser because I didn't have a life plan or a goal for my life or something like that. I don't really even have that much in the way of ambition, so that makes the whole life goal thing really tough. But maxheadwidth was talking to me yesterday about it and not having a goal or a way to even figure one out made me think I was pretty much worthless as a human being and I kept thinking that he could do so much better in the girlfriend department than me. But Dan helped get me out of my pit of sorrow and then I talked to James too and both of them made me feel better so that I could go to sleep without making my pillow into a sodden, snot-covered mess. And I didn't get to sleep until about 1:30am or so.
I got up and took care of bunnies, chickens, and cats, and I was all prepared to stay up and get stuff done, though I didn't know what it was I would be getting done at 6:00am. But I was exhausted. Between the emotional morass I was in, and the late night, I was just wiped out. So I went back to bed until 8:00am. Then I got up, bathed, had breakfast, got dressed, and checked my email. I even got to watch a little TV.
I got to talk to James a little bit before he took off for town and he asked me to do a couple of things for him here at the house since I was basically stuck here. Mariah's car was supposed to go into the shop today and it took her all freaking day to respond to my texts asking for information about when I could get my car back. She still doesn't know. I hope that it will be sometime tomorrow. I may get to use the car while she's at work, but I don't know because then I'm stranded in town with no way to get home. *Le Sigh*
But after James left, and Jenny too, I slipped back into that funk from last night. Not nearly as bad, but bad enough that I just felt like crap. I just can't seem to get out of it for long. And I had such a good morning too.
But I installed and tested some outlet timers for the heaters in the boys rooms and it seemed to work okay. I need to ask James how he wants them programmed before I take the time to go and do that. I also wrapped all the Christmas/Yule presents that were waiting to be wrapped. There were a lot of little things and some very big things and it took like four hours. At least I got to listen to some holiday music while I did it.
Jenny came home and made dinner and it was nice to just have dinner with the adults. But because of my funk I felt like a third wheel. But I stayed until James was done with dinner so that I could just spend some time with him.
I finished up the wrapping after dinner and I was going to put tags on things except that I didn't know what went to whom. I had put sticky notes on things to say what was inside so that James could help me put the proper tags on things, but he was occupied and didn't have time. I just need to get it done and get the presents tucked away in the little wood room so that folks don't get too curious about what they're getting for the holidays.
I really hope that I get to see Dan tomorrow and I hope that I get to be able to run my errands and go to Biolife. It wouldn't be a problem if Mariah could just give me the damned car back. *Le Sigh*