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lately ive been thinking- where is my life going?
whats going to happen?
do i even have a purpose?
a year ago it was easy- finish school, pass my test, get a job...
i've done that-- now what?
three years we've been saying we're going to move out of this piece of crap house.
and still i come home here every day- say two words to my parents, come upstairs and sit on my bed until i go to sleep
wake up and the next day is always exactly the same
wheres the fucking excitement anymore?
of course matthew helps- the only thing i look forward to every day.
and he makes me happy
and im very excited to spend the rest of my life with him
but still
alot of days i go into work and i couldnt care less what people want their hair to look like. just get them in and out and hope the day goes by fast.
does this make me a bad person? i think it at least makes me a bad hairdresser.
ugh.
i try to avoid social events- i dont have enough interesting things to say- not enough exciting things to talk about- and i really dont feel 'cool' enough.
how fucking lame
i dont want to see anyone that badly- and most days i would rather stay in this supid room than go out and do anything- which makes no sense at all.
i dont fucking know anymore. i could go on all day- contradicting myself..
hopefully soon shit will work itself out
whats going to happen?
do i even have a purpose?
a year ago it was easy- finish school, pass my test, get a job...
i've done that-- now what?
three years we've been saying we're going to move out of this piece of crap house.
and still i come home here every day- say two words to my parents, come upstairs and sit on my bed until i go to sleep
wake up and the next day is always exactly the same
wheres the fucking excitement anymore?
of course matthew helps- the only thing i look forward to every day.
and he makes me happy
and im very excited to spend the rest of my life with him
but still
alot of days i go into work and i couldnt care less what people want their hair to look like. just get them in and out and hope the day goes by fast.
does this make me a bad person? i think it at least makes me a bad hairdresser.
ugh.
i try to avoid social events- i dont have enough interesting things to say- not enough exciting things to talk about- and i really dont feel 'cool' enough.
how fucking lame
i dont want to see anyone that badly- and most days i would rather stay in this supid room than go out and do anything- which makes no sense at all.
i dont fucking know anymore. i could go on all day- contradicting myself..
hopefully soon shit will work itself out