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oh i dont know if i really want to quit my job
some days the idea sounds wonderful tho.
last week was such a peece of crap, it brought out all the crap i hate about my job. however today i had a muuuch better day. (but it was an easy 4 hour shift- not much to base it on).
i love doing hair. i love my clients. i love that i have a 'fun' job and i'm not stuck in an office all day (although some days i wish i could just sit on my butt all day!)
but i think that i need to try somewhere else soon-ish. mine is getting really old really fast- with drama and stress that is really overwhelming me lately.
between that and wedding junk, and on top of it, not having a summer at all, ive been sad lately. nothing horrible has happened- i'm just not as happy as i was like 2 months ago.
i havent even been to the beach yet!!!!
it just sucks listening to people all day- all of their fun summer activities and vacations, while i'm stuck at a work that makes me just want to quit life.
i'm not making any major decisions yet, i think my brain is just going crazy with shit to think about. but when i have days where i want to walk out and quit, then cry my whole drive home because of a crappy day, it really doesnt even out to the good parts.
is this normal?
i havent had an alcoholic beverage in three weeks, around the same time i stopped doing that, things got this way... and i'm REALLY hoping it's just a coincidence. addiction is in my blood and i love being intoxicated way too much. sometimes its fucking scary. and how do i deal with it? get fucked up again to forget about it
not cool.
blahhhh
i'm not as smart as i think i am and im starting to realize that... however i'm still way too stubborn to do anything about it.
i'd love for me and matt to just pack up our shit and go.... wherever we end up. i miss spontaneous (sp?) things.
i miss having fun.
i miss not giving a fuck about anything... while i pretend i don't, i really do.
growing up fucking sucks and i really don't want to do it. do people actually enjoy being responsible? and mature?
ehhh i guess that's all for now.
hopefully in a week shit will be a little better.
but i'm still getting plastered at the wedding. :-p
some days the idea sounds wonderful tho.
last week was such a peece of crap, it brought out all the crap i hate about my job. however today i had a muuuch better day. (but it was an easy 4 hour shift- not much to base it on).
i love doing hair. i love my clients. i love that i have a 'fun' job and i'm not stuck in an office all day (although some days i wish i could just sit on my butt all day!)
but i think that i need to try somewhere else soon-ish. mine is getting really old really fast- with drama and stress that is really overwhelming me lately.
between that and wedding junk, and on top of it, not having a summer at all, ive been sad lately. nothing horrible has happened- i'm just not as happy as i was like 2 months ago.
i havent even been to the beach yet!!!!
it just sucks listening to people all day- all of their fun summer activities and vacations, while i'm stuck at a work that makes me just want to quit life.
i'm not making any major decisions yet, i think my brain is just going crazy with shit to think about. but when i have days where i want to walk out and quit, then cry my whole drive home because of a crappy day, it really doesnt even out to the good parts.
is this normal?
i havent had an alcoholic beverage in three weeks, around the same time i stopped doing that, things got this way... and i'm REALLY hoping it's just a coincidence. addiction is in my blood and i love being intoxicated way too much. sometimes its fucking scary. and how do i deal with it? get fucked up again to forget about it
not cool.
blahhhh
i'm not as smart as i think i am and im starting to realize that... however i'm still way too stubborn to do anything about it.
i'd love for me and matt to just pack up our shit and go.... wherever we end up. i miss spontaneous (sp?) things.
i miss having fun.
i miss not giving a fuck about anything... while i pretend i don't, i really do.
growing up fucking sucks and i really don't want to do it. do people actually enjoy being responsible? and mature?
ehhh i guess that's all for now.
hopefully in a week shit will be a little better.
but i'm still getting plastered at the wedding. :-p