cue explosion
everything feels mediocre.
i feel insane right now.
I am contemplating a "cut everyone off and paint" month. I need to fucking do something besides talk about how I need to do something.
I know I am bigger than god damn tech support and local art shows.
I think I am subconsciously trying to destroy my relationship for these reasons.
I really wasn't ready for something this big, I needed to take time and get where I am going first, and now I fear that I am holding back to spend time with him. I know I am, it's all I want to do. Bury my face in his chest and argue about politics, eat dinner, play scrabble, fuck, go to sleep. Every day. How do I decide what to do? I feel like I have to choose one or the other. I feel like time I spend with one is time I am robbing from the other.
blahhhhcrazyramblinsblahhhh
i feel insane right now.
I am contemplating a "cut everyone off and paint" month. I need to fucking do something besides talk about how I need to do something.
I know I am bigger than god damn tech support and local art shows.
I think I am subconsciously trying to destroy my relationship for these reasons.
I really wasn't ready for something this big, I needed to take time and get where I am going first, and now I fear that I am holding back to spend time with him. I know I am, it's all I want to do. Bury my face in his chest and argue about politics, eat dinner, play scrabble, fuck, go to sleep. Every day. How do I decide what to do? I feel like I have to choose one or the other. I feel like time I spend with one is time I am robbing from the other.
blahhhhcrazyramblinsblahhhh